Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, July 30, 2010

Living With Mad Libs

Good evening all! Welcome to my first DML hosting. Some of you know me, some of you may not. I am LwE from Living with Edward. I run a little blog here that shows of all the shenanigans I go through with my mini Edward. If you have some time and need a laugh, go check it out. After tonight's game of course. (Yep, I totally just pimped myself...and Edward)

I am very excited to be here. First I would like to thank Tongue Twied. If it wasn't for her I wouldn't be here. I would also like to thank Lisa for listening to Tongue Twied's idea and asking me join the ranks. And also a thank you to Dangrdafne, mmMoxie, and StarlitViolets for welcoming me to the group. Just like Lisa, I feel so loved!

Tonight's DML is going to be very different from the format you are used to. All the same rules apply, and at first you aren't going to notice a difference. But you will when I post the results.

I had a helper help me prepare this evenings events. Say hi to Edward.





He was a very good sport. He knows how you ladies like to play this game so he knows he is going to end up very embarrassed. But he did it anyway. Isn't he swell when he isn't pissing me off?

Anyway, I've spoken enough. Let's get this show on the road! Here is your first Lib.



1. Verb ending in ing
2. Noun
3. Adjective
4. Exclamation
5. Adjective
6. Adjective
7. Exclamation
8. Noun
9. Noun
10. Adjective
11. Verb ending in ing
12. Adjective
13. Noun
14. Verb
15. Part of the body
16. Noun



1. Edward was caught blowing on the sweaty junk again. To make my point that I don’t want him to do that anymore, I stuck him in the toaster oven.





He was pretty scared. He thought it would be wet inside. He screamed “ Yikes!”, so I let him out.


6. One day Edward was feeling idiotic about his height. I tried to tell him that he shouldn’t be so concerned about that. He is cocky enough just the way he is. To make him feel better, I got out the measuring tape.




When I told him that he was just under 7 inches, he said “Fuck me in the face!". That is almost as big as a cockring. He felt much better.


3. One day Edward said I was too dirty to drive. So he took over the wheel. He is not a fan of other peoples driving, so when some one cut him off, he was pretty livid.




“Hey!! Learn to drive you fisting busty cunt! If you splode my human, I am going to rip your dick right off your cuntface!” I have never heard Edward use such colorful language before.



1. Verb
2. Noun
3. Adjective
4. Verb
5. Character from Twilight - not Edward
6. Verb ending in ing
7. Adjective
8. Noun
9. Part of the body
10. Exclamation
11. Adjective
12. Plural noun
13. Plural noun
14. Adjective
15. Silly name
16. Adjective
17. Silly name



Edward despises pizza. He can’t stand how it sucks.



As he investigated it, he compared the cheese to a ass hat. Mostly because the cheese felt amazaballs. Although, he did say that if he was still human, he would totally gouge it


One day Edward was very angry with Carlisle. He was no longer going to put up with their jacking off or fuckhawt anal beads. So he decided to retaliate.



He said he was going to stick the pin in the Voodoo Doll’s hairy taint to teach him a lesson. I was skeptical that it would work. Edward said that if we heard Carlisle scream “Oh my fucking jesus on a pogo stick!", then we would know.


Edward and his new friend Newdward decided that they wanted to become Super Heroes. They want to specialize in saving confused butt plugs. They will be known as the Super Wieners.



To mask their identities they will be going by the names Sloppy Drunk Renesmee and Seductive Mrs. P.

231 comments:

1 – 200 of 231   Newer›   Newest»
Musing Bella said...

1- blowing

mmMoxie said...

1) butt humping

Musing Bella said...

YEAH! I'm #1, I'm #1... hahahaha

mmMoxie said...

DAMMIT MB!

Living with Edward said...

LOL

mmMoxie said...

#2 SWEATY JUNK

Musing Bella said...

You were the one who reminded me on FB, Mox. ;)

mmMoxie said...

oops. sorry bout the caps.

mmMoxie said...

I know but I didn't think you were going to try to be first!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

3) fisting

Musing Bella said...

3 - wet

Dangrdafne said...

4. YIKES

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

WhAT???? Ignore my last word...ROFLMAO!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I am peeing already...what list am I looking at!

mmMoxie said...

LMAO Mrs. P

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - sorry, I didn't really try, it just worked out that way. TH is busy with baseball and I looked at the clock and saw it was 6:29.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

hi (waves) 4) exclam Fucksocks!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

5) IDIOTIC

Musing Bella said...

LMAO @ Mrs P!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

6)adj cocky

Musing Bella said...

7 - FUCK ME IN THE FACE!

mmMoxie said...

6) diseased

Musing Bella said...

That was my exclamation, btw...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Nice MB---Kudos.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

8 noun cockring

mmMoxie said...

Nice exclamation MB

17foreverlisa said...

Welcome to the party, LwE!!!! I made my husband wait to head out to the game, so I could make sure the post went up okay. So far so good, except...fisting?? Really, Mrs. P? Oh, my! LOL!!

Musing Bella said...

Now TH is sleeping. What do we think the odds are I will ever get dinner? I may have to forage...

mmMoxie said...

9) taint

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

and it didn't even work...the spot was for an adjective...

17foreverlisa said...

#9 - Noun - precum

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

holding out for 11...

Living with Edward said...

Ok, it's really hard to try to keep up here and get the resuts set up. I don't think i've seen your words yet. Bear with my folks, I'm here.

Musing Bella said...

10 - dirty
There you go, Mrs p!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

11) fisting!!!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

10 `adj` moist

17foreverlisa said...

#11 - cuming

mmMoxie said...

10) rock hard

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

HIGH FIVE MB!!!

Musing Bella said...

Yeah!! *high-fives Mrs P*

17foreverlisa said...

No double fisting, Mrs. P!

Living with Edward said...

Just looking at your words I really think Edward is going to regret this.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I think I have lag.....damn lagginess

mmMoxie said...

HA! Mrs. P.

BTW Lisa, Loved your FFF answers. HEHEHE

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@lisa...you "came" too late...

mmMoxie said...

what # are we on?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Lisa....fisting was no good for #3

17foreverlisa said...

Poor Edward. He'll have to cover his eyes. It's worse for Masen, I'm sure, though ;)

@Mox - Thanks!! The debil made me do it. LOLOL!

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa - she didn't double-fist, because originally she tried to fist in the wrong slot.
LMAO

mmMoxie said...

Fisting the wrong slot could be disastrous.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@MB ROFLMAO!!!!! Yes...I fisted on the wrong place...

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - I think we need a 12...

mmMoxie said...

12) busty

17foreverlisa said...

#12 - irrationally

Musing Bella said...

13 - cunt

Porphyrias_Curse said...

14 v splode

17foreverlisa said...

Where's DD tonight?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

NICE PC!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

lol..I try

17foreverlisa said...

#15 - dick

mmMoxie said...

Billy Burke is tweeting tonight. I hope he's not singing too.

mmMoxie said...

16) cunt face

Musing Bella said...

Yay!

17foreverlisa said...

Oh, Mox! LOL!

17foreverlisa said...

May not have to go to the game now. Travis said it's raining there and they are pulling the tarp on the field.

mmMoxie said...

Hooray for tarps!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Today I am thankful for tarps and double fisting.

Musing Bella said...

Should I wake TH up by throwing the cat at him? Or would that be mean?

Living with Edward said...

haha splode ! Yay. OK off to fill in the blanks. Talk amongst your selves. I'll give you a topic. The peanut is neither pea or a nut, discuss.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

is it declawed? If it's declawed totally ok, has claws mean :)

Porphyrias_Curse said...

yes, it's a legume :)

mmMoxie said...

I"m glad when my husband is sleeping. That means he's not bugging me (unless i'm in the same room, then i can hear the snoring and smell the farts) Ah marriage.

17foreverlisa said...

What are you two drinking, Mox and Mrs. P? PMSL! It's no fun playing this sober btw, but I thought I had to drive and I have to get up early tomorrow :(

Musing Bella said...

@PC - he has claws. OK, I won't throw the cat.

17foreverlisa said...

MB, are you drinking your cubed wine?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I'm totally sober Lisa...LOLOL!

mmMoxie said...

drinkin the usual.

Musing Bella said...

@Mox, I like it when he's sleeping sometimes, but the last thing we discussed before he entered the baseball coma was how I needed to go shopping tonight and he was planning to come with so we could go to a movie when I was done. So... wake the fuck up, TH! After DML, of course...

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa - you know it, babe.

Twired Jen said...

where are we??? 15? vag lips

Musing Bella said...

@Jen - we're done, slacker. Waiting for LwE to post.

mmMoxie said...

All I can say is.....oh Jen and shake my head

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Sorry Jen...save your vag lips for round 2! LMAO!!

Musing Bella said...

@Mrs P - LMAO! But then Lisa will accuse her of double-vag-lipping!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

well....she could just change it to steak ums...

Twired Jen said...

Ooops sorry...playing with my new crackberry and trying to get in on DML.

Musing Bella said...

Meat curtains?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Inner or outer lips?

Musing Bella said...

Without dinner in me, the cube wine hits hard... and fast...

Porphyrias_Curse said...

thats what she said....

Musing Bella said...

Hey - where's SV???

17foreverlisa said...

LMAO! Oh, Jen...

@MB - Good lord, not the meat curtains. LOL!

@Mrs. P - Sober? Huh.

What happened to LwE? Did she SPLODE?

And where the hell is DD?

mmMoxie said...

Yeah. Where IS StarlitViolets?

17foreverlisa said...

SV is sick :(

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa - Boo. :( No bueno.

Living with Edward said...

Sorry it's taking so long. This is really hard. It's almost ready

Musing Bella said...

It's almost time to cut open the top of the bag inside the wine cube to eke out all the unobtainable-by-spout goodness...

17foreverlisa said...

She said that ;)

Porphyrias_Curse said...

awww poor SV I had the flu 2 fridays ago it sucked hard..

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@LWE---leave Link Master Flex at home....keep him in check...

Musing Bella said...

@PC - either I just had a stroke or your avi changed.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@PC! You changed AVI mid DML!!! AWESOME!

mmMoxie said...

aww SV.

Did we ever find out were DD went?

Living with Edward said...

I sploded the dml, but I fixed it's up with round two!

Musing Bella said...

TH lives!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

LMFAO!!!!!!!!!!Luuuuurrrrve it!

17foreverlisa said...

Don't worry about it, LwE. These h00rs know how to talk amongst themselves and, of course, play on twitter in between. No pressure.

@MB - You know my dad is appalled that I drink boxed wine. When we were on Travis's last spring training trip, we were carrying our stuff into the hotel room at our first stop and my husband, unbeknownst (is that a word?) to me had taken the bag out of the box and put in in the fridge. When my parents came by our room a little later for a drink. My husband knew I'd want a glass of wine and pulled the bag out of the fridge. You should have seen the look on my dad's face.

Musing Bella said...

PMSL at the first one!!!

mmMoxie said...

“Hey!! Learn to drive you fisting busty cunt! If you splode my human, I am going to rip your dick right off your cuntface!” I have never heard Edward use such colorful language before.


Pure GENIUS!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

LWE!!! That is awesome!!!!!!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

1 v suck

Dangrdafne said...

I am here... somewhere... or elsewhere... or nowhere... who the heck knows at this point.

mmMoxie said...

2) ass hat

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa - yeah, my mom is a wine snob, too. Sucks for her. It's cheap and delicious, and more for me!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

3) amazaballs

Porphyrias_Curse said...

3 adj slippery

Living with Edward said...

I was laughing so hard filling in the blanks. Oh my god, too funny ladies.

Musing Bella said...

@Mrs P - wha??

17foreverlisa said...

ROFLMFAO!!!!!!!!!!!!! I knew this wouldn't just be epic. It changed poor Edward's life.

And WTF? Where is TT (aka Kit)? She said she was going to play tonight.

Musing Bella said...

@ Lisa - dunno, but we located DD!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

is amazaballs unacceptable? It's kinda "better than amazing". It might be my own word, now that I think about it.

We'll leave it up to the host...

17foreverlisa said...

DD! What's the matter?

Living with Edward said...

@Mrs. P: Is that an adjective??

TT is stuck at a restaraunt. Probably trapped in there by the paps.

Dangrdafne said...

@ MB - we did?? Where is she??

Musing Bella said...

@Mrs P - I was just confused.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

"The movie was amazaballs"....LMAO!!!!!

Just go with slippery....

Living with Edward said...

@Mrs. P: alright, I get now. we'll use it.

17foreverlisa said...

I love your amazaballs, Mrs. P ;

Musing Bella said...

@DD - oh, umm... I spoke too soon. ;)

mmMoxie said...

what # are we on?

Musing Bella said...

@Mrs P - thanks for the example!! LMAO

4 - gouge

Living with Edward said...

4

mmMoxie said...

5) Zuul

17foreverlisa said...

@LwE - LMAO! ...TT trapped by the paps *wink, wink*

Musing Bella said...

Alright, that's enough with the winking everyone.

Dangrdafne said...

I know where I won't be... in Houston next week now... the training had to move out 2 weeks. UGH! My poor mom, who I invited along since I would be there a whole week, had to pay $200 in change fees and a fare difference. ARG!

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - who the fuck is Zuul?

Twired Jen said...

Where are we?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Is Zuul from ghostbusters???

Musing Bella said...

6 - jacking off

17foreverlisa said...

Oh, that sucks, DD!

Twired Jen said...

6. tea-bagging

17foreverlisa said...

*winking at MB*

17foreverlisa said...

@Jen - Oh no you didn't!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

...There is no Edward only Zuul.....lol

mmMoxie said...

@MB NM

#5 Carlisle

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa! Noooooooooo!!! I don't like the wink wink! It means people are left out!

mmMoxie said...

@Mrs. P - it could have been Gozer. Which one was the gate keeper?

17foreverlisa said...

I think she spelled Zulu wrong. PMSL!

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - NM?

7 - fuckhawt

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

"I am the gatekeeper, are you the keymaster?"

17foreverlisa said...

Hey, Edward! *wink, wink*

mmMoxie said...

@MB - NM = never mind (not New Moon, Zuul was definitely not in New Moon)

17foreverlisa said...

#8 - anal beads

mmMoxie said...

9- hairy taint

Musing Bella said...

*shakes fist at Lisa* I'll see you in Forks, eventually. There will be retribution. *WINK*

Porphyrias_Curse said...

10 exc ~ Oh my fucking zombie Jebus on a pogo stick!!!

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - OK, I was confused! I was like, "There is NOT a Zuul in New Moon, I would remember that!" LMAO

10 - JESUS FUCKING CHRIST!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

11) confused

Musing Bella said...

12 - butt plugs

Porphyrias_Curse said...

12) jizz stains

17foreverlisa said...

@MB - Oh, shit! Temporarily forgot about that. *big wink*

@PC - NICE!!!!!

mmMoxie said...

12) wieners

mmMoxie said...

13 - wieners

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa - oh, I won't forget about it. *I* won't. Bwahahahahaha

17foreverlisa said...

#13 - uncut peens

mmMoxie said...

14 - sloppy drunk

Porphyrias_Curse said...

15 - reneesmee

Porphyrias_Curse said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Musing Bella said...

15 - snookums

17foreverlisa said...

I see you one wink and raise you two, MB *bats lashes*

Musing Bella said...

@PC - aww, man! But you're totally right, of course.

17foreverlisa said...

#16 - seductively

Porphyrias_Curse said...

16 twattish

Musing Bella said...

@Lisa - no one ever winks at me for real. *sulks* I just feel left out.

17foreverlisa said...

#17 - Mrs. P

mmMoxie said...

#17 Fucktard

Porphyrias_Curse said...

17 Robsten....

Musing Bella said...

17 - Zuul

mmMoxie said...

LMAO Lisa

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh shit....

mmMoxie said...

ain't nuthin funny bout Zuul

Musing Bella said...

Oh, I'm too drunk for this. Thank goodness we're done! I've gotten slow!

17foreverlisa said...

Now I'll be going around winking you all the time in Forks and the rumours will be flying. LOL!

Dangrdafne said...

@ Lisa - I was thinking that too!!! LOL You are braver than I

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - Zuul is now funny to me. Suck it.

17foreverlisa said...

@PC - Oh no YOU didn't!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I thought i got winked at once, but turns out the guy had a nervous tic...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

PC---the category was "silly name", not "fictional characters"

Porphyrias_Curse said...

lol, lisa, yes, yes I did

Porphyrias_Curse said...

lmao @ Mrs. P ~ wish I could give you a fist bump

mmMoxie said...

Zuul is the Gate Keeper. You'd better be careful.

Musing Bella said...

@PC - I know I'm not around DML a lot lately, but I haven't seen you elsewhere. So: nice to meet you!

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - maybe I'm the keymaster.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

lol thx I'm kind of a lurker, but this shits just too much fun not to partake

Musing Bella said...

@Mox... or the Pillsbury Doughboy. Either way.

mmMoxie said...

Then I shall call you Gozer.

Musing Bella said...

Oh shit. TH's team is losing and he woke up to see their demise. Tonight should be FUN, folks.

Musing Bella said...

@Mox - LMAO. You crack me up.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

well, he can be happy you didn't throw the cat at him ;)

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