Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, October 29, 2010

Be Safe

It's All Hallows' Eve. Do you know where your kidz are? I hope so, because this is definitely not the place for them to be ;)

I'm having a very Twilight Halloween this year. I got these three cards sent to me this week. This doesn't even include the musical one I bought for myself and is on my desk at work.



The one on the left is from my sister-in-law and nieces.


The one on the right is from my aunt.


The one in the middle is from my bloggy,
and now real life, bestie Twilove1_Sue.


She knew I was looking for the Be Safe window decal in Forks while we were shopping. I love her. The inside note reads:

"Happy Halloween Lisa! I bought the scariest card I could find.
If Edward morphing into Jacob doesn't terrify you, then nothing will.
Thank you for being my twi-soul sister. I'm so lucky to have met you!
Be safe :)
Love Sue XOXO"

She's right. This is fucking terrifying.






I don't know about the rest of you, but I need a drink.
Grab 'em if you got 'em or go get a refill. I'll wait.
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.
.
.

As @robzsinger1 tweeted, it's on like donkey kong.

DML #1

1. celebrity
2. celebrity
3. verb
4. plural noun
5. verb –ing
6. plural noun
7. plural noun
8. plural noun
9. verb –ing
10. plural noun
11. location
12. adjective
13. plural noun
14. exclamation
15. celebrity
16. celebrity
17. verb
18. plural noun

Punky Brewster and Tom Sturridge come out tonight! It’s Halloween and we are ready to wiggle. So watch your shackles when fist fucking or treating. We want your wrenches! Punky likes garlic bulbs and Tom likes sexual favors. While blowing on doors for all your vaginas, watch the house down in Forks. It’s scary with slippery webs and broken black dildos. Christ on a cracker! It’s where Mr. Rogers and Vanilla Ice live. Groan all the way home and hide those taints!

DML #2

1. verb -ed
2. place
3. noun
4. noun
5. adjective
6. plural noun
7. noun
8. adjective
9. adjective
10. exclamation
11. noun
12. noun
13. verb -ed
14. verb
15. adjective
16. plural noun
17. plural noun

Boy was I humped this Halloween! I went to Edward’s sparkly rectum through the penis to find a burp. What I got was a gnarly surprise in my bag of pubic hairs. I reached in my smegma to see what it was. I felt it, and it was all floppy and bare. Lisa’s vagina! Is it an infected follicide or a twat? I had no clue. To my surprise, when I fucked it out, it didn’t move or scissor fight me. It was a painful spider, the stuffed kind! Hopefully there will be no more taints (AMEN!) and just illicit substances!

201 comments:

1 – 200 of 201   Newer›   Newest»
Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Punky Brewster

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

that's #1, BTW

I_heart_Fifty said...

Yay! We don't celebrate Halloween here in NZ (although it is sneaking in to shops, commercialism is rife) but I'll play along! I'd get into it if Edward was involved....

Dangrdafne said...

1. Keanue Reeves

I_heart_Fifty said...

#1 or #2 Tom Sturridge!

Dangrdafne said...

#2 Keanu Reeves

Dangrdafne said...

Ok I am done LOL!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Keanu can't catch a break

TheRugbymom said...

Evening ladies! That card that morphs between Edward and Jacob is creepy!

Twilight is on Showtime right now.

Twired Jen said...

OMFG Lisa I almost did a post with the card Sarah got me..same one Sue got you..Too funny.

2. OLD GREG (google him, you'll see)

17foreverlisa said...

Talk amongst yourselves. I'm going to get a refill. Yes, I worked up until the last minute on this. LOL!

TheRugbymom said...

#3 Wiggle

I_heart_Fifty said...

Orange Juice is in the house right now, yep i'm rockin it hardcore here

#2 Miss Piggy

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

4) shackles

StarlitViolets said...

3. Fist Fucking

Twired Jen said...

I need a refill too...champagne to celebrate my first real Friday...in a Mon-Fri schedule...

Hello EVERYONE! Leg hump to all ;)

StarlitViolets said...

5. Fist Fucking

Twired Jen said...

I forget, do I just do what's next? Or do I have to go in order not skipping numbers???

RobzSinger said...

word up.
whoa StarLV just started the party!

#5 licking

Muffin Top said...

#3 69ing

I_heart_Fifty said...

SV - starting strong! nice!

#5 constricting

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

6) wrenches

StarlitViolets said...

Hey h00rs! I'm getting f'd up tonight. Be prepared! And I'm here and playing cuz Lisa already changed the schedule by the time mine changed. So - I get to play this week and Lisa goes on vacation and I host next week. Be prepared.

How is everyone tonight???

17foreverlisa said...

Amy!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

we are on #7 ladies...

RobzSinger said...

#6 twats

I_heart_Fifty said...

Just roll with it Jen, go with whatever number we're up to

Twired Jen said...

7. Garlic Bulbs

inotu said...

#7 hairy balls

double_dippin said...

#5 lick-ing

I_heart_Fifty said...

@Lisa - yeah?

#7 melons

17foreverlisa said...

Garlic bulbs, Jen? LMAO!

StarlitViolets said...

LISA!!! :) MWAH! I'm already pretty rummy! LMAO! <3

Twired Jen said...

7. FOOOOORKS

HI SV! I am gonna get buzzy buzzy too!

RobzSinger said...

#8 sexual favors

double_dippin said...

15 Mr Rogers

I_heart_Fifty said...

#8 - ear lobes

inotu said...

#9 blowing

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

#9) pumping

Twired Jen said...

What I was saying is....IF someone has already done 7, I don't do 7 too, I do 8, right?

17foreverlisa said...

Oops! Forgot there's two Amy's here tonight (or more, who knows!). I was talking to SV about #5. LOL!

double_dippin said...

#1 HOLY SHIT!

Twired Jen said...

9. gyrating

inotu said...

um, what #?

I_heart_Fifty said...

Buahahaha... I'm not sure I knew SV was an Amy too! All the best people are, y'know xx

#9 - floating

RobzSinger said...

yes jen! go in order and try not to repeat a # :)

i say FOOORKS for #11

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

we're on 10

17foreverlisa said...

Correct, Jen. You look above in the comments to see what's already been done. First time? *snickers*

Twired Jen said...

10. Vaginas

17foreverlisa said...

LMFAO!! @double_dippen: You are my kind of girl. That's what I try and do. Since I'm the host, you get #15 :)

I_heart_Fifty said...

#10 - spider monkeys

StarlitViolets said...

Yep, Jen, that's exactly how it works. We pick the first answer for each number. So if you see that someone already snagged it, go ahead and do the next. But try not to skip ahead. It's too confusing for the host. Just keep hitting F5 to refresh the comment windown and you'll be able to check for words right before you answer. :)

And YAY that we're getting effed up together again for the first time since FORKS! :P

double_dippin said...

ooops #14 HOLY SHITBALLS!

inotu said...

#11 Forks

Twired Jen said...

11. Baton Rouge

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

12) slippery

StarlitViolets said...

11. Edwards sparkly ass

RobzSinger said...

#11 under Rob

Muffin Top said...

#14 "Christ on a cracker"

Twired Jen said...

Lisa- Apparently...I guess I just never thought to ask. Anyone wanna call me? 619-851-0448. LMAO...I'm pimping myself out and hate the phone. Odd. Drinking..............

RobzSinger said...

#12 sweaty

I_heart_Fifty said...

All I know is that I wanna come to FORKS2011 SO bad!

#12 oh fuck what's an adjective again? BRB

StarlitViolets said...

13. big black dildos

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

we need 13

Muffin Top said...

What the fuck is a plural noun?

Twired Jen said...

13. chocolate penises (is that plural?)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

never mind....lol!

TheRugbymom said...

14 WTF????

Twired Jen said...

Muffin top: PLURAL NOUN: Person, place or thing..make it plural..as in THING- Bottle PLLURAL- Bottles.

StarlitViolets said...

Fellow Amy - it's a descriptive word like a pretty or ugly. :)

RobzSinger said...

i second big black dildos

but lets add "covered in glitter lube"

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

14) GREAT BALLS OF FIRE!

Muffin Top said...

@I_Heart_Fifty forks2011 is a fucking MUST!!!

Twired Jen said...

15. Richard Simmons

17foreverlisa said...

We're on 16.

Muffin Top said...

@Inotu ILY. That is all.

I_heart_Fifty said...

#16 Vanilla Ice (he's on TV right now. WTF?)

RobzSinger said...

#16 Billy Burke

Twired Jen said...

Evertime I see Obama I think of Vitamin R...awwww. PS Where the heck is Sharon?

StarlitViolets said...

16. Cookie Monster

17foreverlisa said...

@Muffin Top - I think we should go to Portland, Oregon, and tour actual film locations this time.

inotu said...

@MT be my roomie for Fork2011? LU2

I_heart_Fifty said...

@SV - thanks!

#17 taints ;)

Twired Jen said...

Amy(IHF) LMAO!!!! (Vanilla Ice)

17. Groan

StarlitViolets said...

I think Portland, OR too!!! It's bigger! And I heard some really cool people live there. LOL!

Twired Jen said...

Lisa..PORTLAND 2011!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

TheRugbymom said...

18 pumpkins

StarlitViolets said...

18. herpes

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

WOOT! That should do it!

RobzSinger said...

#18 loch ness monsters

I_heart_Fifty said...

Jen - who knew he could still get interviews?

#18 - chocolate salty balls

Twired Jen said...

18. Uh oh Inotu it's a PLURAL NOUN!
"dingleberries"

StarlitViolets said...

Jen - IHF?

Twired Jen said...

@SV OMFG HERPES...Sweet.

I_heart_Fifty said...

@SV - she's talking about me, tee hee hee

Twired Jen said...

SV what does IHF mean?

StarlitViolets said...

Fifty Amy - Chocolate salty ballz!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!! I SO love you now!

I_heart_Fifty said...

Probly easier if i'm FiftyAmy, right? or should that be, Fifty's Amy... oooh yeah.

Chef was always my favourite South Park character

StarlitViolets said...

I was asking you. But Fifty Amy cleared it up. ;)

Twired Jen said...

Is there a #2 DML????

StarlitViolets said...

Yep - and FiftyAmy is SO much easier than typing your whole screen name.

I_heart_Fifty said...

SV- I so didn't think about that when I started on this wee journey...

mmMoxie said...

HOly shit I missed the entire first game????

I_heart_Fifty said...

gonna watch from sidelines for game 2, just painting my fingernails for big party tonight, can't multitask....

mmMoxie said...

#1 humped

StarlitViolets said...

2. Edwards sparkly rectum

RobzSinger said...

#2 meadow

Twired Jen said...

2. Isle Esme

17foreverlisa said...

Mox! Where the hell have you been? LOL!

StarlitViolets said...

ehem - Edward's sparkly rectum

RobzSinger said...

or...edward's sparkly rectum, that was my second thought.

lol SV!

mmMoxie said...

LMAO @ Mrs. Rogers and Vanilla Ice

mmMoxie said...

LMAO @ Mrs. Rogers and Vanilla Ice

StarlitViolets said...

MOX!!! Yay! You're here!

17foreverlisa said...

SV, you are being very naughty tonight ;)

mmMoxie said...

Late dinner and computer issues.

mmMoxie said...

Late dinner and computer issues.

17foreverlisa said...

We're on #3.

mmMoxie said...

apparently I'll be posting double comments this evening.

17foreverlisa said...

Twice is always nice, Mox ;) It will make up for you not being here for DML 1.

Dangrdafne said...

Double Trouble apparently Mox

RobzSinger said...

lol @moxie. heeey girl.

lol @moxie. heeey girl.

RobzSinger said...

#penis

mmMoxie said...

LOL Hi RobzSinger

Twired Jen said...

3. genital wart

mmMoxie said...

#4 burp

StarlitViolets said...

@Lisa - You say that like it's a BAD thing! LMAO!

17foreverlisa said...

Penis for #3...going once...going twice...sold to Robzsinger. Next item up for auction? #4

RobzSinger said...

trying to be as dirty as SV:)

moxie - you can call me Robz...or Meg:)

StarlitViolets said...

YAY! I'm a bad influence!!! Hee hee. Are you drinking too, RS?

RobzSinger said...

#5 gnarly

TigerlilyRose said...

I am here, where are we

17foreverlisa said...

Good luck with that, Robz...or Meg. SV's drunkity-drunk ;)

mmMoxie said...

I did #4

I believe we're on #5 now. I won't hog it.

RobzSinger said...

i can't possibly drink and keep up with you twats!

mmMoxie said...

ok. #6 then

TigerlilyRose said...

#6 boogers

Twired Jen said...

Hey I offered some genital warts for #3 Lisa!

lol

#4 SMEGMA

inotu said...

#6 pubic hairs

Twired Jen said...

OK make #7 Smegma...thank you very much.

StarlitViolets said...

7. infected follicle

mmMoxie said...

#7 Lisa's vagina

RobzSinger said...

I like drunk SV. js.

mmMoxie said...

#8 floppy (not lisa's vagina)

StarlitViolets said...

LMAO!!! Thanks girly! Just wait - it'll get even better on Twitter when we're done. ;)

RobzSinger said...

#9 bare ( and lisa, i don't want to know):)

TigerlilyRose said...

#9 adj horny

17foreverlisa said...

What the hell is SMEGMA, Jen, and thank fuck you got it in before Mox's answer to #7! LMAO!

mmMoxie said...

#10 LISA'S VAGINA!

StarlitViolets said...

11. infected follicle

Twired Jen said...

MOX u r KILLING me! 10. HOLY SHITBALLS!

mmMoxie said...

LOL Lisa....look up smegma (not in your vagina)

RobzSinger said...

#11 lisa's boob.

inotu said...

@moxie...what perfect timing

StarlitViolets said...

Sorry - but that was too good not to get in there somewhere. ;)

17foreverlisa said...

Well, my vagina was floppy which is why I had it yanked a few years ago. Just sayin'. Sorry, Meg. TMI, I know ;)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I'm back!

17foreverlisa said...

WTF happened? How did I get thrown under the bus? LOLOL!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Um...WTH Lisa??? LMAO!!!

mmMoxie said...

My vagina whistles dixie

StarlitViolets said...

YAY!!! Mrs. P! I'm even more effed up than before! Welcome to my playtime!

RobzSinger said...

oh dear gawd. moxie you have me crying.

TigerlilyRose said...

#12 twat

I_heart_Fifty said...

Nails are dry, I'm back, biotches. Where are we?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

My vagina plays the skin flute

mmMoxie said...

I'm not even drinking cuz I have to get up at the ass crack of dawn tomorrow.

StarlitViolets said...

Mrs. P - LMFAO!!! Mine too! What a coincidence. ;)

TigerlilyRose said...

Apparently I need to drink! and if my stomach could take it I would...LOL

RobzSinger said...

50 Amy - we're discussing lisa's floppy va jay jay. jsyk.

I_heart_Fifty said...

#13 fucked.

Hmm, well, I hope to be. But that's another story.

TigerlilyRose said...

mrs P I am glad it plays the skin flute, but sad it does scissor fight

I_heart_Fifty said...

@Meg - hmmm, great conversation to walk in on. *blocks mental image*

TigerlilyRose said...

#14 scissor fighting

mmMoxie said...

#14 slather

RobzSinger said...

mine can belch the alphabet.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

15) painful

TigerlilyRose said...

mrs p that was supposed to be sad it DOESNT scissor fight...PMSL

mmMoxie said...

#16 taints

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Thank you Lace...I was sitting here a little confused...LMAO!!!

17foreverlisa said...

PMSL!! You girlz are killing me here.

mmMoxie said...

ROFL Robz.....now THAT is talent!

I_heart_Fifty said...

#16 eyelashes. mmmm, hot.

StarlitViolets said...

17. illicit substances

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Done!

Twired Jen said...

I'm back,my lap top and blogger were busy fucking.

Moving on..Lisa when Mox makes fun of you,it's a compliment ;)

#17. Mox's A-holes

I_heart_Fifty said...

#17 bongs.

SV - you got me thinking ;)

RobzSinger said...

i did it for the talent show in junior high. lol.

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - I only have one a-hole (unless you're talking about my family)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@Robz---ROFLMAO!!!!!

17foreverlisa said...

Done and done!! Thanks for playing. That was nutz. I will be posting the results in a few minutes.

StarlitViolets said...

@RS - LMFAO!!! That's fucking hilarious!

RobzSinger said...

shanks lisa:)

Dangrdafne said...

@RobzSinger - did what for the talent show? A bong????

I_heart_Fifty said...

@Lisa- thanks!

Dangrdafne said...

Thanks for hosting, Lisa :)

mmMoxie said...

Yes. Thank you Lisa. Sorry for picking on your deceased vagina.

StarlitViolets said...

Great job Lisa! Love you hard, bb! MWAH!!! xoxoxo

RobzSinger said...

@DD no, the bong was in the fifth grade:)

Dangrdafne said...

@RobzSinger LOL!!

Dangrdafne said...

#2 is ... hilarious!!

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