Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, January 21, 2011

You're Gonna Do What With That?

Happy Friday llllllllllllaaadies.  I hope your week was filled with less snow and ice than mine was.  And that your weekend will be glorious!!  I want to open up tonight's DML with nice warm fuzzy for Lisa.


Think twice next time before you mess with kiTT.  Or mess with kiTT!  Look what it gets you!

Anyway, on with the Lib!


1. Adjective
2. Adjective
3. Plural Noun
4. Noun
5. Celebrity
6. Celebrity
7. Adjective
8. Verb ending in Ing
9. Adjective
10. Adjective
11. Noun
12. Verb
13. Noun
14. Insulting Term
15. Verb ending in Ing
16. Adjective
17. Noun
18. Verb
19. Adverb
20. Verb
21. Body Part
22. Verb
23. Noun
24. Verb
25. Adjective
26. Insulting Term
27. Verb ending in Ing
28. Noun
29. Verb ending in Ing
30. Adverb
31. Adjective
32. Verb ending in Ed
33. Noun


Edward: Blue
EC: Green
Bella: Pink


Today Edward came home to find a throbbing and mopey EC. Edward thought that EC might be upset about slippery melons again, but decided to ask him instead of assume. We all know what assuming does. It makes a TomStu out of Jackson Rathbone and Richard Simmons.



“Hey EC. What’s wrong?”
“Oh, nothing really. Just bored today. I tried some lengthy porking for a while, but it got old real fast.”
“Oh, I know something we could do. Let’s look through LwE’s purse. There is always wacky things in there to play with.”




“Find anything blistered yet?”
“I wish!”


Edward searched and searched until finally he found something to play with.




“Look at this!”
“Is that one of those putrid Fraggle Rocks that you use to fork your Castle Grayskull?”
“What?! No. It’s a bullet, you Dean's poop chute.”
“What is LwE doing with a bullet?”
“I have no idea. You know what it kinda looks like?”
“Yes, I see where you are going with this, but LwE can’t use it for that. Look how tiny it is.”
“You think maybe Bella would want it? It looks to be about her size.”
“No! She can’t use it for that! The tip is made out of pure lead. She could get very sick and die.”
At this statement the boys have an epiphany.

“Bella! We have something for you!”

They found Bella quickly but saw that she was pre-occupied. The girl may be a half whit most of the time, but she has damn good taste.


“Oh, geez, not again.”
“Always with that guy. Enough already. I can’t stand him.”
“I know. Everyone knows that Robert Pattinson is a licking hot pink Etch-a-sketch. I wish he would just sniff already.”
After Edward and EC are done with there Rob conjecture they decide to get Bella’s attention.

“Bella?”
“Hold on. I’m not done. Just a few more moments.”
“Oh dear god. Who does that?”
“Bella, I have something for you here that may help the ….uh …. Frustration you are feeling.”
“Frustration? What are you talking about?”




“Here. You can use this.”
“This? What do you want me to do with this?”
“Well first you want to Jiggily cough it into you slut buscuit. Then once you are comfortable sip it around a bit like you would a chocolate starfish. Then continue to castrate with it until it makes you feel…. Uh…fully hairy.”
“What?! You want me to do that with a bullet?! Are you insane?!”
“How do you know what it is?”
Bella takes the bullet from Edward in an angry gesture.



“How do I know? My dad is a cop, you fanny fart. I have seen plenty of these in my life and I know enough that they are not for self stroking.”
“Now she decides to be intelligent?”
“I can’t believe you two. This has lead in it. Do you know what that would do to me? I would die. Are you trying to kill me?”
The boys had no answer and were completely taken aback by Bella’s confrontation. They didn’t know what to do.

“To teach you a lesson, you both are going to have to be punished for trying to kill me. I won’t be too harsh though, I’m pretty forgiving. So instead of tying you to Rosey Palm and her five sisters and twitching you slowy until you are prikly I’m just going to make you spend some quality time with Derek.”





“This sucks.”
“Oh my god, he smells so bad.”
“Well it beats getting rocked with a butt plug.”
“I’ll say.”

233 comments:

1 – 200 of 233   Newer›   Newest»
I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Hellooooo!!

Living with Edward said...

Welcome!

TheRugbymom said...

We would never intentionally embarrass Edward!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

I love that the time on these comments says it's still my birthday. Yay me!

Twired Jen said...

Hello laaaadies..I have missed DML the past couple of weeks!

Jen

TheRugbymom said...

Let's get this show on the road.

#1 ThROBbing

Living with Edward said...

@TheRugbymom: I would! LOL

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen! Time to change your blogger avi my friend!

Nice to see you all, ladies!

inotu said...

hiya!

TheRugbymom said...

Hey Jen!

Given any thought to having your wedding in Forks????

Twired Jen said...

#2 Slippery (that's an adjective..right?)

Jaymes805 said...

Sup my hawt h00rs?!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

2. Pulsating

Oh crap I think I need to go back and refresh my high school English... I get confused between nouns, adjectives etc. Nasty.

Twired Jen said...

I know!! LOL...I changed my twitter one, but forgot to do my blogger one ;)

TheRugbymom said...

Happy birthday I_heart_fifty!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

3. Melons

Twired Jen said...

#3 Krisbian's

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Thanks! It's awesome to have a two-day birthday!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

hello ladies!

Twired Jen said...

Amy- Is it your birthday?!?!

Jaymes805 said...

4. Jackson Rathbone (I had to) :)

Twired Jen said...

Mrs P- :) helllooooooo

Jaymes805 said...

Omg I'm retarded. that was supposed to be #5. I suck at this already!

TheRugbymom said...

Thanks to whomever put the instructions in the sidebar to remind me how to refresh my screen!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

5) Harry Mandel

Living with Edward said...

just want to say that I love you ladies!! I'm really tired so I may say anything tonight!

Twired Jen said...

5. Meatloaf (as in the singer) Is he still alive?

RobzSinger said...

what's up hookers! :) i'm late and still don't know how to refresh. aren't you glad i came?

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

4. TomStu!

Jen - it was yesterday (21st) so for you, yep it's my birthday! Instead, today is massive hangover day.

Twired Jen said...

Awww- Happy late birthday love! xo

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Yes, Meatloaf is still alive <~~~a phrase I never would have guessed I would say today

Living with Edward said...

Jaymes I'll take it as 5.

Dangrdafne said...

@ Mrs. P do you mean Howie Mandel? If not, who is Harry?

TheRugbymom said...

do we still need a 4?

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Oh fuck that was supposed to be 5 too. I followed Jaymes' lead. I think I killed too many brain cells last night.

Twired Jen said...

#6. Richard Simmons

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

DD!!!!!! Yes, Howie!!!!! ROFLMAO

Living with Edward said...

yep,, still need 4

Dangrdafne said...

@Robzsinger - check out the sidebar on the blog page

Twired Jen said...

Watcha drinkin' Mrs. P?

Jaymes805 said...

Lol we are awesome at this!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Amaretto and DC...

Twired Jen said...

I love being fresh out of the shower with a glass of wine in hand on a Friday night. Sweet.

Jaymes805 said...

LOL "Harry Mandel". Awesome.

Living with Edward said...

You're all awesome.

RobzSinger said...

i'll take that as a yes;) #8 porking

Twired Jen said...

@Mrs P Totally forgot to tell you I have 2 unopened bottles of Amaretto form X-Mas! One is almost finished...2 more to go! It's my late night weekend drink ;)

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

8. Tainting ;-)

inotu said...

9 blistered

Twired Jen said...

#9 Gyrating

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Amaretto and DC will put hair on Howie's head...and turn him into "Harry"

Twired Jen said...

PMSL!

RobzSinger said...

thanks DD! command + r is working:)
i second jen having the wedding in FOOORKS!
mini e's for favors!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

9. Dehydrated.

Like me. Still. And it's nearly 4pm.

Twired Jen said...

I so need to lose my Santa Hat..I'll be sad to see it go though. Can someone make me a Valentines hat, or put a heart on my avi? Let me know and I'll send you the original or you can steal it from my twitter page. My birthday is in Feb, so Valentines makes me happy.

Living with Edward said...

still looking for 7

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

That was a long comment Jen...LOL

Twired Jen said...

10. putrid

RobzSinger said...

i'll make you one jen. #10 lengthy

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen - I'll do it! Email me your pic.

Where the hell are we up to?

Twired Jen said...

I know, was just thinking that myself ;)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

11) Fraggle Rock

RobzSinger said...

#7 lengthy

Twired Jen said...

Thanks Robzsinger and TwiKiwi...it's a race to make the best Valentines avi...

TheRugbymom said...

12 forked

RobzSinger said...

loved fraggle rock! ...is this thing on?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

12) moon walking

Twired Jen said...

12. hump

Living with Edward said...

Thanks RobzSinger

LOLOL Mrs. P. Fraggle Rock!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

HELLO ROBZINGER! <~~~accidental shouty caps

VampiresWeLove said...

Hey :) Late as usual :( Missed you guys!!

RobzSinger said...

you're going down twi kiwi! :)

Twired Jen said...

13. Rob's balloon knot (think dirty)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

...and I spelled her name wrong.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

...in shouty caps

Twired Jen said...

lol

Jen (P.E.'s Ho) said...

Late!! What'd I miss, y'all?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

13) Castle Grayskull

RobzSinger said...

i still loved it Mrs. Q

i wish my parents would have paid more attention to me as a child...

xo

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen - given I'm totally not a fan of V Day, it'll be a challenge, but I'll do it for you.

Robzsinger - BRING IT!

I have no idea if it's time yet, but #14: LMT!!

RobzSinger said...

hi ya Jen! whatcha drinking in ur flip flops girl? i got a Bud:) beer that is.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen/PE/RobAddict oh she of the identity crisis is here! Yay! hahaha

Twired Jen said...

#14 Dean's poop shoot! (that can be a term...right?!)

TheRugbymom said...

@VampiresWeLove - love your AVI ! How come I never noticed he was showing some skin in that scene before?

Hot!

In the snow!

That's so cool!

TigerlilyRose said...

I am here Where the hell are we...LOL

RobzSinger said...

totally.
#15 licking

Twired Jen said...

Amy- I'm not a fan of VDay in what it represents, but I just like Valentines decorations cause it reminds me of my b day...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Does Dean's poop shoot? Or did you mean "poop chute" LOL!!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Watch out!!! Dean's gonna shoot you with his poop!!!

Twired Jen said...

I mean CHUTE LMAO! thanks M

Jen (P.E.'s Ho) said...

I'm having a latte. Have to be the responsible parent tonight.:(

I don't like being responsible.

Twired Jen said...

ROTFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen - fair enough. It's just a massive commercial opp, IMHO. But maybe that's cos I'm ridiculously single. ARGH.

#15 climaxing

Twired Jen said...

16. Hot Pink

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

17) etch-a-sketch

TigerlilyRose said...

#17 Noun JuJubees

Jaymes805 said...

@Jen (PE's HO) I'm drinking Vitamin Water. So not comparable to wine but that's what I get for having SARS or whooping cough or pneumonia... whatever this is.

RobzSinger said...

#18 sniff

TigerlilyRose said...

#18 jiggle

Jaymes805 said...

aw man, I missed 17... dammit, I was waiting for that one.

Twired Jen said...

18. Smirk

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Please tell me I'm not the only one who has googled 'grammar' tonight... farck.....

Twired Jen said...

jaymes- SARS...PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living with Edward said...

You girls are cracking me up!

TigerlilyRose said...

#19 Jiggly

RobzSinger said...

sounds hot jaymes. *moves 2 seats over*
jk:)

Jen (P.E.'s Ho) said...

@jaymes: Aww, hope you feel better, hon.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

19) sneakily

Twired Jen said...

Twikiwi- I always have to google the difference between adjective and adverb...I have to remind myself that an adverb describes a verb/action etc...

Jaymes805 said...

@twired jen Lol Seriously. I think that's what it is. I don't even know what SARS consists of but I'm pretty sure it has to do with going thru 4 boxes of kleenex for a runny nose and being sick for 25 days.

Twired Jen said...

20. Cough

inotu said...

@jaymes- maybe it's mesotheleoma I see that commercial alot

TheRugbymom said...

@Jaymes805 - If you just chug a bottle of Stoli or Jack Daniels, you'll forget all about being sick AND kill all the germs at the same time!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

FTR - I'm sober as a judge. Which is amazing, considering there is still alcohol leaking out my pores from last night. eww.

#20 stagger

Jaymes805 said...

21. Slut biscuit (my new term for vag)

Twired Jen said...

Awww...where's A tonight?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

21) pinky toe

17foreverlisa said...

21 Body Part - ass

TigerlilyRose said...

#21 pink taco

VampiresWeLove said...

20 Queef

Twired Jen said...

22. sip

RobzSinger said...

um, i second pink taco

Jaymes805 said...

Lol I tried alcohol last weekend because alcohol cures germs right? Wrong. I'm still sick and all I got out of the deal was a bruised ankle from Amanda dancing on my foot in heels while she was trashed.

TigerlilyRose said...

22) naked mud wrestling

RobzSinger said...

queef - bwahaha!

17foreverlisa said...

What did I miss ladies. Other than a of a drunk fat ass having a mid-life crisis wearing a Robsessed t-shirt?

Jen (P.E.'s Ho) said...

pink taco...pmsl!!

Living with Edward said...

Oh Jaymes, that is perfect!!! You have no idea. Well you will when this is done.

Twired Jen said...

Vampires we love- I can queef on command. No joke.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Lisa's here! Yay!

21 - hot pocket

VampiresWeLove said...

@RugbyMom Love me some Snoward ;)

Twired Jen said...

Lisa!!!!!!

TigerlilyRose said...

#23 chocolate starfish

RobzSinger said...

twired jen - no wonder he proposed! lmao!

Jaymes805 said...

She's layin in bed watchin tv .. doesn't feel well. We're a house full of sick bitches.

TheRugbymom said...

@TwiKiwi - check the sidebar. You don't have to Google it!

17foreverlisa said...

Said fat ass may be a little drunk right now. Just sayin'. Because I NEVER have typos like I did in that last comment.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

24) castrating

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Am I the only one who doesn't know what Queef means? (hides behind cultural differences)

Twired Jen said...

24. Steal

TigerlilyRose said...

ROFLMAO Lisa....whose fat?

RobzSinger said...

lmao kiwi. i'm not explaining that shit.

hi lisa!!

17foreverlisa said...

Hi IH50 and Jen :)

So, birthday girl, are you finally done celebrating?

Jen, did you make it through your busy day?

Twired Jen said...

Twikiwi..it's when you fart out of your vag...as in some air comes out on accident..I can do it on purpose. Hope that doesn't mean I have a gaping hole of a vag. S/O doesn't complain...

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Robzsinger - Imma have to google that too, aren't I?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Its a pussy fart...or what Jen said. Same thing.

TigerlilyRose said...

Twikiki Queef equals fanny fart, or pussy fart....ROFL

Jen (P.E.'s Ho) said...

I think I just threw up in mah mouth a little...

Twired Jen said...

I am so about the TMI tonight.

Lisa- YES survived the day..so glad it's Friday night!

Jaymes805 said...

Ahhh these comments are going too fast!

@inotu- lol that might be it. I think I'm going to go to a new doc. this week.

@PE's Ho- thanks doll!!! I hope so toooooo

@LWE- haha good, I'm excited to see the end result.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

THANK YOU Jen. Good to know. I totally wouldn't have guessed that... we call it fanny farting here, but I know you guys don't call your vag a fanny...

TheRugbymom said...

@Twired Jen thanks for sharing! TMI :)

RobzSinger said...

DML: always an education

Twired Jen said...

No I think an ass or butt is a fanny here...hmm, we'll have so much to talk about when you come!

VampiresWeLove said...

@Lisa..love the pic! Now that's nature at it's finest ;)

@Jen..not sure if I should be impressed or appalled? I guess the Kegel's paid off huh? Can you smoke a cigarette from your taco too? Saw that at a Donkey Show-erm nvm ;)

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Lisa - Yup I'm doing 'suffering' today, follows on from 'celebrating'...

@all - thanks for clarifying!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@TwiKiwi---that could cause a major problem, the vag/fanny confusion.

17foreverlisa said...

Don't tell SV I said that, Lace ;) Is she not playing tonight?

Hi, RS!

Jaymes, Demanda's really doing laundry, isn't she?

RobzSinger said...

twi kiwi - we have fanny packs...no?

Living with Edward said...

@ I heart Fifty: It means to fart out your slut buscuit

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen - TWSS! You mean when I visit?

Twired Jen said...

25..since no one is doing it...HAIRY

Twired Jen said...

Amy- TWSS? I'm lame with acronyms. YES!

RobzSinger said...

#26 you're a fanny fart!

TigerlilyRose said...

SV has a bad headache...again, poor girlie, hope she gets to Physical therapy soon :/

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

OK, so to clarify, fannies are vaginas here, and not bums.

In NZ we think it's HILARIOUS that you guys call those things fanny packs, we call them bum bags. But really, they should be disallowed for pure hideousness.

Oh what we learn from our fellow twitards, eh!

Living with Edward said...

Thank you blogger for freezing and taking 5 minutes to post my comment.

Jaymes805 said...

Hahah YAY! LWE said "slut biscuit!". I started a trend. It all started today when Jenny Jerkface and I were emailing back and forth and I randomly needed an insult cuz she was being..well, a jerkface so I came up with slut biscuit. I think it's a good term. I hope it sticks!

TheRugbymom said...

Is Demanda doing her laundry? or her laundry basket?

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Oh fuck! I didn't scroll down to see there were more than 22! Loser!

#26 - cum guzzler

LWE - have we missed, like, a million?

RobzSinger said...

bueller?

17foreverlisa said...

@VWL - I can only hope that Jumping Rob would show up.

@LwE - How long ago did kiTT put you up to this?! You do know that I was in the hospital the next day with screwed up electrolytes because I drank too much that night, right? Good times. Not.

Twired Jen said...

27. StrokING

VampiresWeLove said...

or the ever popular Cum Dumpster

TigerlilyRose said...

27) slurping

TheRugbymom said...

I hope Edward is sober so he can help LwE straighten this hot mess out!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jen - TWSS: That's what she said.

#27 (I think that's about where we're at) Relaxing

RobzSinger said...

i'm friends with @robscumdumpster on twitter. true story. my hubs is so proud.

Dangrdafne said...

I am so out of the loop that I have no idea what the picture is about but I think I might not want to know.

TigerlilyRose said...

28) Rosey Palm and her five fingers

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

TheRugbyMom - Maybe Edward sabotaged LwE's computer so that she couldn't comment... maybe he planned this hot mess all along!

Twired Jen said...

28. Wine bottle

VampiresWeLove said...

Does everyone know what an American Cream Pie is? As told to me by my 14 yr old son....

TheRugbymom said...

29 twitching

Dangrdafne said...

Awesome Tipsy Travel just started following me on Twitter!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@ALL---Spunk Ransom got hit with a $5000 fine for the waterfall BD pics. Take them down if you have them in a post...

TigerlilyRose said...

28) I meant Rosey Palm and her five SIsters...geez

Jaymes805 said...

@therugbymom Haha Demanda isn't doing laundry day, laundry day is tomorrow...or Sunday because we're FINALLY getting a washer and dryer. I'm going to have to hide the laundry basket from her or none of it will get done. And by "hide it" I mean use it for myself. BOO YA!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@DD - I'm with you. Maybe it's safer we don't know.

#29 rotating

RobzSinger said...

what!?! i didn't even see them. please send them to me Mrs. P!

TigerlilyRose said...

OH Hell, Mrs P...really, that sucks!

VampiresWeLove said...

@Mrs P..what?! really? wow-does that sort of thing happen alot? I don't think I saw those pics-what did they show?

RobzSinger said...

Oh girl, the laundry basket of luuuv.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Thanks Mrs P - I just took mine down this afternoon.

#30 - enticingly

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Robzsinger---you know the ones...when she jumps on his back in the white bakini and he had on the red shorts

Jaymes805 said...

29. dripping

17foreverlisa said...

Mrs. P - I saw something about that on twitter.

17foreverlisa said...

30 slowly

Twired Jen said...

Holy shitballs Mrs P...crazy! Will have to search for them. Can't you only get fined if you're the one who originally post them, not if you link to someone that did? EEEK!

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 233   Newer› Newest»