Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, April 29, 2011

A Simple Act of Kindess

Hello all my lovely ladies.  It has been a trying past couple of weeks for me so I'm super excited for the fun to ensue tonight.  I'm tired and a bit brain fried so I haven't prepared anything very creative or witty to say tonight.  So I guess we should just get right to it.

1. Adjective
2. Verb ending in ing
3. Strange Occupation
4. Noun
5. Verb
6. Noun
7. Adjective
8. Verb past tense
9. Adjective
10. Crazy Emotion
11. Verb past tense
12. Verb ending in ing
13. Plural Noun
14. Verb ending in ing
15. Adjective
16. Noun
17. Adjective
18. Adjective
19. Verb
20. Adjective
21. Noun
22. Adjective
23. Verb
24. Adjective
25. Adjective
26. Noun
27. Noun
28. Verb ending in ing
29. Verb
30. Adjective
31. Adjective

Most of you know that Edward works with me at a bank.  He doesn’t think of it of work, however.  He thinks of it more like sexy forking.  Some days I agree with him.  My close friend, and coworker, also has a mini Edward, that we call Eduardo, that would come to work with her also.  He, however, has quit the bank to become a Glory Hole Attendant.  He loves it!  But recently, Eduardo has been coming to the bank again to spend more time with his human.  And he has been reminded of why he can’t stand it there

First off, Edward makes fun of him like a taint fondles a sparkle peen.

Eduardo was only trying to educate himself on the company history, but Edward found that to be fuckhawt  behavior so he shat this long sign.



This made Eduardo feel raging lust, so he slunk his own sign in retaliation.



Since Edward had insulted Eduardo, he was now left to entertain himself.  I suggested that he try dancing mini Edwards, or maybe even thrusting an impure ballsack .  He wasn’t appreciative of my suggestions so he decided that he would just be the keeper of the keys.


But the keys were too gorgeous for Edward.



I don’t know why that made him fall over.

Anyway, Eduardo was off doing his own things.  Mostly getting frustrated.



“What a saucy calculator!  I hate this thing and I hate banking!  Someday, I am going to burst all the banks in the world and be the most hairy condom that anyone has ever seen!”  He was getting a bit dramatic so we made him spend some quality alone time.


After a couple hours of this, the boredom sent poor Eduardo into a tantrum.



 Edward then felt sorry for his friend, so he decided to cheer him up.  Edward went to NYC a couple weeks ago and brought Eduardo home a very tight gift that he was sure Eduardo would dry hump.  He chose now to give it to him.


Eduardo was so moved and leprosy scabbed that he couldn’t find words.  He appreciated the gift so much.  He was unsure what to do with it.  He thought it was a sordid Trojan Tri-phora vibrator or perhaps a cupcake with a tweeting feature.  Edward laughed at those ideas and told him it was a zipper pull or a keychain.  Eduardo experimented with the zipper pull idea.  He was pleased.


Eduardo was so happy for the rest of the day.  He stood holding his gift so he could properly fang bang it all day long.  He also fashioned a new sign to show his appreciation.



So next time you see some one who is having a rough day, a simple act of kindness can make them feel much more monstrous and make their day frazzled.

82 comments:

Dangrdafne said...

1. sexy

jilleynwv said...

1. adjective: slimy

Dangrdafne said...

*sings* alll by myself

TwitardedMom said...

2. forking

jilleynwv said...

2. thrusting

Living with Edward said...

Hi ladies! Sorry, I just went for a pee break.

Rikki_DD said...

3. Glory Hole attendant

Dangrdafne said...

3. Bounty Hunter

jilleynwv said...

3. Proctologist

jilleynwv said...

4. taint

Living with Edward said...

LOL at all your answers. Bounty hunter. how fitting.

Dangrdafne said...

;)

TwitardedMom said...

I got no idea what I'm doing.
Um - plural noun how about Cullen boys crotchs?

Dangrdafne said...

you keep going in order. So we are still at needing #5 Verb.

jilleynwv said...

5. fondle

TwitardedMom said...

I need to number each noun, verb & adjetive or can you take the suggestions & fit them in the 31 spaces?
Adjetive - sloppy wet

Rikki_DD said...

6. sparkle peen

17foreverlisa said...

7. fuckhawt

Rob was fuckhawt in NYC!

Hi girlz!

Living with Edward said...

@TwitardedMom: you have to go in order and include the number with your word. If someone did #5 then go to the next. There are usually multiple words given from different people. We go with whoever gave it first. Or sometimes take hostess rights if we really like the word.

Living with Edward said...

Hey Lisa!! Glad you made it!

jilleynwv said...

8. shat

Rikki_DD said...

9. hump

TwitardedMom said...

9. long

jilleynwv said...

9. slippery

TwitardedMom said...

10. raging lust

jilleynwv said...

10. squeeeee

jilleynwv said...

11. slunk

Dangrdafne said...

12. dancing

jilleynwv said...

12. t-bagging

jilleynwv said...

13. Mini Edward

jilleynwv said...

13. Mini Edwards* oops

Living with Edward said...

I'm really enjoying your answers.

Rikki_DD said...

14. Thrusting

Dangrdafne said...

14. swinging

jilleynwv said...

15. impure

Dangrdafne said...

15. long

jilleynwv said...

16. ball sack

17foreverlisa said...

17. gorgeous

Rob was gorgeous in NYC.

Living with Edward said...

Oh my god, the way these words are working out is getting a bit crude. LOL I guess that is the point.

17foreverlisa said...

Yes, I was hitting refresh over and over until it was time for #17. LOL!

TwitardedMom said...

16. dick mitten

Living with Edward said...

Looked who lurked just for #17. LOL

TwitardedMom said...

17, spooning

jilleynwv said...

18. saucy

jilleynwv said...

19. burst

17foreverlisa said...

So Edward, how is Jasper? I haven't heard from him in so long.

TwitardedMom said...

20. hairy

Dangrdafne said...

21. condom

Rikki_DD said...

21. glory hole

Edward said...

@Lisa: I'm not speaking to him at the moment. He tried to make me think that he had infected me with Vampire Leprosy. He escaped out of the tuperware AGAIN! He just won't stay. But I guess I can't blame him. It has been quite a few months.

jilleynwv said...

21. golden shower
ok my mind is turning out some weird stuff this evening...i promise i'm not really this disturbed lol

Living with Edward said...

@jilleynwv: I love your words!

Rikki_DD said...

@jilley LMAO!!! You're sugggestions are killing me!

jilleynwv said...

thanks...i try...you said make it dirty make it crude lol : )

Living with Edward said...

Well you are succeeding. LOL

TwitardedMom said...

22. tight

jilleynwv said...

22. shit-stained

17foreverlisa said...

Edward, this is a sadness. You know how fond I am of Jasper. You two need to kiss and make up...and send me a picture ;)

jilleynwv said...

23. dry-hump

TwitardedMom said...

23. spanking

Edward said...

Kiss?!! You want me to kiss someone with Vampire Leprosy??!! Are you insane??!

jilleynwv said...

24. leprosy-scabbed

Rikki_DD said...

25. pulsating

jilleynwv said...

25. sordid

Dangrdafne said...

26. cookie

TwitardedMom said...

26. ho

TwitardedMom said...

27, cupcake

jilleynwv said...

26. Trojan Tri-phoria vibrator

jilleynwv said...

sorry just saw a commercial for that one lol

TwitardedMom said...

28. tweeting

jilleynwv said...

28. spelunking

jilleynwv said...

29. fangbang

Living with Edward said...

I may have to take hostess rights on 26. LOL Holy hell, that's funny.

jilleynwv said...

30. monstrous

jilleynwv said...

31. frazzled

Rikki_DD said...

30. prickly

Living with Edward said...

Thanks so much for playing ladies!! I think it's gonna be a good one. It will be up in just a minute, just have to proof read, then I'm done!

Living with Edward said...

It's posted!!

17foreverlisa said...

Sorry! Travis got home from work and I got distracted.

Yes, Edward, I am insane. Help a crazy person out ;)

Thanks for hosting, LwE. I love you long time.

XO

Dangrdafne said...

Perfect!

17foreverlisa said...

LwE, Edward, and Eduardo, the post is amazaballs!

Love the "Your Mom" and Eduardo in time out.

I can't believe you found an Eduardo a sordid Trojan Triphora vibrator in NYC. Epic.

LOLOL!

Living with Edward said...

Love you too Lisa!!