Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, December 3, 2010

Decking the Halls

Thank you, Lisa! Isn't she talented?! Shh... she's a magician.


It's that enchanting time of year when we get tangled in tinsel, lost in lights, and buried in bows.  We send the guys out to put up lights on the outside because it's way too fucking cold and requires far too much effort just to have the outside look pretty when WE are barely ever going to see it.  We light candles that smell like apples and spice and play music only appropriate at this time of year.  All to create an atmosphere... that I fucking LOVE!!!

I'm not kidding either.  I will never sport a "holiday" sweater of any kind, ever.  I won't go caroling with your group of freaky ass friends.  And I absolutely refuse to spend hours in a fucking mall being jostled and violated by herds of greedy dickwads.  BUT - I abso-friggin-lutely LOVE Christmas time!  I love to decorate inside my house, and make cider and hot chocolate (with some *ehem* extra ingredients, of course).  I love to listen to older holly jolly songs and turn off all the lights in the house except the tiny ones around the tree and garlands.  I'm a sap when it comes to Christmas.  Bring on the eggnog! 

I might need this just to confuse extended family members. Tee hee.

Now I shall bring on the fun!  Tonight is the very special event in the history of our obsession.  Tonight, the best movie, in my opinion, in the saga, is released on dvd and blu-ray.  Can we say commentary?  SQUEE!  Sadly, I'll be getting my copy tomorrow, BUT that only works to DMLs advantage.  I'm here, let's play...

Mad Lib #1

1.  Plural Noun
2.  Noun
3.  Adjective
4.  Noun
5.  Noun
6.  Adjective
7.  Celebrity
8.  Adjective
9.  Plural Noun
10.  Adjective
11.  Noun
12.  Number
13.  Noun

Commercial for Face Cream

And now, ladies and Full Sized Edwards, an important commercial message from our snowball, the manufacturer of new, improved ALL-GOO, the face cream for women.  ALL-GOO now contains a new moist ingredient called "Hexa-mone," which is made from distilled feather juice.  If you rub ALL-GOO on your boob every evening, your complexion will look as furry as a daisy.  The famous hollywood star, Snooki, says, "I use ALL-GOO every day, and my complexion is always da bomb and my cheeseburgers always have a youthful glow."  Yes, ALL-GOO is the sweaty cream of the stars.  Remember, if you want a softer, smoother penis pump, get ALL-GOO in the handy fifty (ka-ching)-pound size at your friendly neighborhood shaft store.


Mad Lib #2

1.  Noun
2.  Noun
3.  Plural Noun
4.  Noun
5.  Type of Liquid
6.  Noun
7.  Noun
8.  Noun
9.  Number
10.  Noun
11.  Exclamation*
12.  Noun
13.  Adjective
14.  Adjective

*As a special request, Demanda wanted me to find an appropriate place to put her contribution.  Tee hee.  Silly girl.

What To Do When You Have a Cold

You can always tell when you're getting a cold because your condom will feel stuffy and you will have a bad art ache.  The first thing to do is to take a couple of love muffins.  Then get into your jizz licker and rest, and drink plenty of clam juice.  Sometimes it's fun being sick.  Food is brought to you on a pube so you can eat and watch TV, and your temperature is taken by putting RRoP jeans in your Robp0rn.  If your temperature goes over 107 degrees, a doctor should be called.  He will thump you on the toenail and say, "MIKE NEWTON!"  Then he will ask you what pixie dust you ate the night before and x-ray your stomach.  Finally, he will give you hairy advice on how to get well.  If you do just what he says, you'll feel saucy in no time at all.

144 comments:

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Hey!

Can I start by getting my gloat about summer xmas out of the way? I am roasting out here, shorts and tshirt...

Anyhoo, I'll stop before you all throw snowballs at me ;-)

Living with Edward said...

1. Full sized Edwards

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

1)snow balls!

17foreverlisa said...

#1 - testicles

Demanda said...

1. Feathers

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

2)snow ball lol!

17foreverlisa said...

What up girls? I'm trying to show Mama Cougar how DML works. Not sure I've convinced her she can do this when I'm not here.

Living with Edward said...

Mrs. P!! We miss you!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

LOL Lisa... starting strong!

#1 Volvos

TigerlilyRose said...

ooooh lookit Duchess is here!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I miss you guys too!

17foreverlisa said...

#3 moist

StarlitViolets said...

You're ALL here!!! WELCOME!

Demanda said...

4. Feather

TigerlilyRose said...

#4 noun boob

Dangrdafne said...

as are Living with Edward and Dangrdafne on assignment out in the wilds...

TigerlilyRose said...

5 noun boob

17foreverlisa said...

That's Mama Cougar's word btw.

Hi Corrinne and Sharon. How are the FSEs holding up?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Hey TL!

Dangrdafne said...

you should go back and look at our Twitter feeds!!! LOL!!! Too much fun!

TigerlilyRose said...

6 adjective furry

17foreverlisa said...

#7 Snooki

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Where are we? I step out for one second...

Demanda said...

I saw FSE's were "sleeping"

TigerlilyRose said...

lmao... Lisa!

How are ya, Duchess!

17foreverlisa said...

How are you feeling tonight SV?

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#7 Carlisle's hair (hey, if it has it's own twitter, you know it's a celebrity)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

8) da bomb

Living with Edward said...

Hey Lisa!!

It's pretty weird to be playing DML with Sharon in the same room. So cool!

The FSEs are good. I think I may put them in front of the window.

Demanda said...

SV I am trying my hardest not to mess up so you will finish your story!!! :)

Dangrdafne said...

9. cheeseburgers for Robzsinger

Twired Jen said...

8. slippery

Dangrdafne said...

The FSE's are fine... it is that creepy Bill Cosby head that is not right!

Demanda said...

@I heart fifty - SO FUNNY! I was laughing all day at work!!

Twired Jen said...

Sorry I was late...Happy Friday all!

TigerlilyRose said...

LWE...funny!

StarlitViolets said...

Lisa - I'm good! :) Happy you all made it my way! Welcome Mama_Cougar!!!!

17foreverlisa said...

IHF - I'm so thrilled Icy's site is back up :)

StarlitViolets said...

We need #10 ADJECTIVE.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Hey Lacey...I don't have a cool Santa hat on my avi like SV does.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@DD - thank goodness you fit in the cheeseburgers... I cannot multitask when it comes to DML!

@Lisa - me too! I almost had a heart attack...

No fucking idea what we're up to, but oh well...

StarlitViolets said...

LOL! Mrs. P - Lisa made it all holly jolly for me! Isn't she so smart?!

TigerlilyRose said...

Mrs P, would you like one?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

She's brilliant. I hope she remembered how...

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#10 Sweaty

TigerlilyRose said...

#10 adjective clumpy

17foreverlisa said...

LwE - It's funny thinking of you two playing DML together in the hotel, too.

SV - I gave MC your msg :)

Dangrdafne said...

I did my Santa hat here for my avi
http://www.pizap.com/
It's free and no sign up

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Wouldn't you like one Lace? Look at us...both of us with our foreheads all exposed.

Twired Jen said...

yeah my last one wasn't an adjective..boo on me, I don't have my game face on...I need a drink.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Robzsinger says hi, everyone. She's putting the kiddies to bed :)

17foreverlisa said...

I heard that, Margaret :P

Twired Jen said...

11. Penis Pump (noun)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

DD...when I click on your link it brings me to Lisa's blog. That's weird.

TigerlilyRose said...

LMAO...oh yeah I forgot I don't have one either...LOL...I have ornaments on twitter....i will see what I can whip up for us, tonight, k?

StarlitViolets said...

NICE one, Jen!!!

TigerlilyRose said...

#12 number 50

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Lacey, I was just joking around.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@TL - hehehe, nice number. I could suggest 17 but methinks someone else might want to do that...

TigerlilyRose said...

i figured, but I just can't abide SLV having a better hat than us...LOL

17foreverlisa said...

Ka-ching!

#13 shaft

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#13 taint

TigerlilyRose said...

kiki...i almost went with 17...but decided you would like 50 just as much

StarlitViolets said...

Okay girls! Intermission and I'll tweet ya when the new one is up! :)

TigerlilyRose said...

doh! I mean Kiwi....i am medicated

Dangrdafne said...

Mrs. P check your email

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh ladies...I may not be back until way later. Stay classy hos!
Love you all...xoxoxoxoxoxoxoxo

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh DD! I shall!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

DD!!! I love her!!!!!!! When I sit down with Mackie I'll set her up. Thank you...

Dangrdafne said...

@ TLR - check your gmail!!

Living with Edward said...

I love how da bomb worked out!

StarlitViolets said...

Okay - onto list #2 ladies! Who's got first???

Dangrdafne said...

Ok that sounds a little like a real conversation... especially the Snooki part LMAO!!!!

Twired Jen said...

Ok sorry girls, got caught up balancing my check book..how depressing right? Geeez.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

That's hilarious SV!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#1 Condom

Demanda said...

OME YES!!!! #11 ;)

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Jen - you're such a geek. But ILY anyway.

Living with Edward said...

2 Bad art

TigerlilyRose said...

dam Sharon you beat me to it! LOL
I love it thank you

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#3 love muffins

Demanda said...

I'm off to Charla's.. @jaymes wanted to add (jizz licker) if that works anywhere!!

I LOVE YOU hOOrs!! Be Safe if you're travling tonight! MWAH! <3

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

testing the AVI...

17foreverlisa said...

LOL! That's da bomb and actually played out well with our words.

#5 clam juice

TigerlilyRose said...

#5 noun handcuffs

StarlitViolets said...

#4 will be Jizz Licker.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Lisa...your comment is full of win. First a compliment, then you throw in "clam juice"...LMAO

17foreverlisa said...

jizz licker works for #4. Night Amanda!

Nice hat, Mrs. P ;)

17foreverlisa said...

Anyone heard from Mox lately.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#5 Glitter lube :-)

I'm anxious that Fifty has his RRoP jeans on, waiting for me, and I'm here with you. The sacrifices I make for my bitches, eh.

TigerlilyRose said...

oops make handcuffs #4

StarlitViolets said...

Can't do that TLR #4 is Jizz licker.

We need #6 Noun.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

#6) pube

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#6 duvet

17foreverlisa said...

Can't think now, IHF, thinking about Fifty and his RRoP jeans. Damn it!

Living with Edward said...

7. RRoP Jeans

StarlitViolets said...

RRoP?

Living with Edward said...

Red Room of Pain

17foreverlisa said...

SV - We will discover RRoP together when we start the read along!!!!

StarlitViolets said...

LMAO!!! Sorry! I'm so ff-illiterate!

TigerlilyRose said...

DD made me a new avi too

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

LISA...MOTU UPDATED, I got an email. I guess the blog is back up?

17foreverlisa said...

Yes it did and yes it is! SQUEEEEEEE!!! I can breathe again :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

TR...you look ravishing

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Jeezus I find it hard to believe you don't know about the RRoP. I'm all sweaty just thinking about it. Sorry for distracting you Lisa although it's probably safer for my Fifty, the frisky mood you're in tonight!

StarlitViolets said...

You two look lovely in hats!!!

17foreverlisa said...

#8 robp0rn

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Gorgeous new avi's darlings, you're all beautiful.

What the fuck are we up to?

StarlitViolets said...

I need #8 Noun.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I_Heart....you need a hat on your chess piece.

StarlitViolets said...

Oops! I meant #9 - didn't see Lisa's at first.

17foreverlisa said...

IHF - I am SO getting frisky with Fifty tonight. I will be reading it tonight while I'm laying down in the Rob Room of Poster ;)

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Mrs P - I know, I have one on twitter. I'm actually working on an entirely new xmas avi that will make you all green with envy. Watch this space.

Dangrdafne said...

IHF has one on Twitter and it is ADORABLE!!!

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Lisa - don't you hurt my Fifty. I'm watching you, bitch.

(tee hee hee)

Dangrdafne said...

Mrs. P = more email :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I'm in the Roman Rocker of Pinwheels.

StarlitViolets said...

Need #9 Number.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I'll be back...

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

Is this the most distracted DML ever or what!

#9 107

StarlitViolets said...

I just passed the Red Rocket of Poodles. LOL! ;)

StarlitViolets said...

Did everyone bail at once???

We're on #10 Noun. Only four left.

17foreverlisa said...

I spy 17 in your #9 answer IHF :)

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

#12 toenail

I am still trying to think of a funny RRoP. Epic fail.

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Lisa - you got me!

You know I just wanna be like you, bb...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

10) pixie dust

17foreverlisa said...

#10 virginity

StarlitViolets said...

Okay IHF - you get toenail for #10. That means we're on #12 Noun, now.

TigerlilyRose said...

13 adj hairy

Twired Jen said...

11. FUUUUUUUUUCK

Living with Edward said...

13. stupified

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

14) saucy

StarlitViolets said...

NM - I got it. Now we're on #14.

Twired Jen said...

14. Wet.

17foreverlisa said...

A funny RRoP? Hmmmmm...

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

@Jen - BUAHAHAHAHAHA

#14 orgasmic

StarlitViolets said...

K - that's it. I'll get it up soon. :)

I_heart_Fifty / TwiKiwi said...

My brain is a small dehydrated walnut. I need to lie down. That is all.

17foreverlisa said...

Let us know how that goes, SV. *snickers*

Dangrdafne said...

Wait!! Are we done?? Where was I??

Dangrdafne said...

I'm feelin' saucy!! Actually I am feeling exhausted LOL!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Awesome DML SV...I gotta run. Catch you all later! XOXOXO

StarlitViolets said...

Thanks girls! I had tons-o-fun! And I love that so many of you still made it on this most hallowed evening. ;)

Until next week, slut buckets!

mmMoxie said...

"Mike Newton!" I'm the worst member of the DML team. I'm sorry I missed this one :(

Nice job SLV!