*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.


Friday, October 14, 2011

Bewbie Squishes and Ass Grabs!!!

Welcome back to all of my tainty twatwaffles who've played before, and a special fondle to any new players!  With the possible end of DML hanging over our heads at the beginning of the summer, I'm more excited than I can express to be in the position to tell you that not only are we returning, but we even have a new bar wench who will take care of all of your needs very soon.  I assure you she's VERY accommodating.  ;)

This week, I bring you a couple of libs from two new books I picked up a few days ago.  Fresh from the presses and now available for your dirty minds to massacre.  Remember to try and go in order, refresh the comments using F5 and censorship is strictly forbidden.  Here we go!

Mad Lib #1

1.  Plural Noun
2.  Verb ending in "ing"
3.  Noun
4.  Noun
5.  Plural Noun
6.  Part of the Body
7.  Noun
8.  Verb ending in "ing"
9.  Adjective
10.  Part of the Body
11.  Verb ending in "ing"
12.  Noun
13.  Noun
14.  Part of the Body
15.  Adverb
16.  Part of the Body Plural

Afraid of the Dark

I was home alone and scared out of my Jell-O shots.  I could hear the wind sucking and off in the distance a Forks was howling.  I crossed the room, locked the butt nugget, and climbed into bed. pulling the h00rs over my sparkle peen.  Then it happened.  I could hear a Rathbulge gagging up the moist stairs.  My tit started to chatter and my knees were bouncing.  The Zane Ross was thrust open and there was a huge Rikki with hair all over his taint.  It was my father.  

"Hi, we're home," he said prematurely.  "Hope you weren't afraid of staying home alone."  

"No," I said, lying through my pussy lips.

Mad Lib #2

1.  Adjective
2.  Number
3.  Plural Noun
4.  A Place
5.  Celebrity - Male
6.  Adjective
7.  A Place
8.  Adjective
9.  Adjective
10.  Noun
11.  A Place
12.  Adjective
13.  Number
14.  Noun
15.  Number
16.  Occupation
17.  Noun
18.  Adjective


Congratulations!  According to M.A.S.H. (the ultimate sleepover game), your future looks bright and sticky.  When you are 17 years old, you will met the man of your rubber gloves in New Zealand.  His name will be Peter Facinelli.  You will have a dickhead wedding, and you will go to Jackson Rathbone's bed on your promiscuous honeymoon.  When you return, you will move into a slippery beanbag in the bottom of a well.  You will drive an erect car.  Then when you have been married for 5 years, you will have your first trollop.  You will go on to have 1.7724538 more children.  You will work as an STD tester for the Jersey Shore cast until you retire and move to a tropical the good part.  Your M.A.S.H. future looks prosperous and squishy, so prepare to enjoy it!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Into the Sunset?

On almost the first anniversary of our venture in DML as its own blog, we say... see ya later?  Well - to be honest, we don't really know what to do.  Participation is falling and the girls need a break.  So - we're taking the summer off.

We'll be back in September, but perhaps for only a once a month game.  It's all up to our players.  If we can generate enough interest again, we'll kick it into high gear.  If not, it may be the end...

I can only speak for myself, but throughout the summer, I will be up for at least an impromptu game or two.  I'll try to get the word out at least a day in advance, if not a week.  I'm sure some of the other girls will be up for a few too.  Let us know how you feel.

I know I can speak for all the hosts when I say, regardless of the future of DML, it's been a helluva ride!  Thank you to all of our players and lurkers alike!  We appreciate the good times and many many laughs!

-SV Out...

Friday, May 6, 2011

Up close and personal with mom.....

Happy Mother's Day!

Mad Lib #1

  1. Plural noun
  2. Adjective
  3. Geographic location
  4. Noun
  5. Noun
  6. Verb (past tense)
  7. Noun
  8. Adjective
  9. Small city
  10. Adjective
  11. Noun
  12. Plural noun
  13. Noun
  14. Noun
Case History:
The Spoiled Child

Spoiled children constantly demand new bras to play with, as they are never satisfied with what they have.  History's most well hung example is Henry VIII.  Discontented with his first wife, Catherine of Tahiti, Henry divorced her and wed Anne Boleyn.  But she had a melancholy cadbury creme egg, so he executed her.  His next your mom, Jane Seymour, ran while giving birth, which made Henry cry like a monkey.  He got over it by ordering a new bride from a hairy country.  Unfortunately, when Anne of Hogsmead arrived, Henry screamed that he found her to be too shiny, so he set her aside and married Katherine Howard.  However, she cheated on him so he chopped off her stop sign.  Finally, there was Catherine Parr, the last of his rocket ships, who survived him.  Henry was a spoiled dogsten who grew up to become an even more spoiled hooter.  Someone should have administered a royal time-out!

Friday, April 22, 2011

Bunny Hop

There will be no DML tonite Friday 4-22-11 due to the Easter holiday and the opening of the Water for Elephants movie.

Tune in next week for more DML fun!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Spring has Sprung

and apparently so has Rob!!!


1. Plural Noun
2. Adjective
3. Noun
4. Plural Noun
5. Plural Noun
6. Noun
7. Type of tool
8. Plural Noun
9. Noun
10. Adjective

11. Person
12. Adjective
13. Adjective
14. Noun
15. Adjective
16. Noun
17. Adjective
18. Adjective
19. Verb
20. Verb
21. Person
22. Verb
23. Adjective
24. Verb

Spring Garden

Planting a vegetable garden is not only fun, it also helps save Boobies. You will need a piece of sticky land. You may need a witch to keep the dead prostitutes and dingleberries out. As soon as the wedge is here you can go out there with your SCREWdriver and plant all kinds of taints. Then in a few months, you will have corn on the sperm burping bitch and big, skeevy flowers.

Trip to the Park!

Yesterday, Sister Mary Frances and Mrs. Cope went to the park. On our way to the tired as fuck park, we saw a char broiled one eyed snake on a bike. We also saw big sparkly peen balloons tied to a qweef. Once we got to the fugly park, the sky turned drippy. It started to cum guzzle and spank. Yo Momma and your mom nuzzled all the way home. Tomorrow we will try to go to the whoretastic park again and hope it doesn't ass pound.

1. Verb(ing)
2. Adjective
3. Verb(ing)
4. Part of Body
5. Adverb
6. Part of Body
7. Noun
8. Verb
9. Animal
10. Noun
11. Verb
12. Adjective
13. Color

Bike Riding!

Baby Making is a bump and grind form of exercise. Squirting a bicycle enables you to develop your poop chute muscles as well as quickly increase the rate of your tender taint beat. More cum dumpsters around the world dry hump bicycles than ride elephants. No matter what kind of clit blister you circumcise, always be sure to wear a vicious helmet. make sure to have puce reflectors too.

Friday, April 1, 2011

Who? Me?

Sorry like I forgot tonight was my turn to host DML.  Good thing I already started drinking.  Thanks for waiting!  Lets play..........

Mad Lib #1

  1. Part of the body (plural)
  2. Verb
  3. Adjective
  4. Noun
  5. Plural noun
  6. Type of building
  7. Noun
  8. Verb ending in "ing"
  9. Plural noun
  10. Part of the body
  11. Type of liquid
  12. Adjective
  13. Type of building
  14. Adjective
Handbag Confidential

They say that the taints are the window to the soul.  That may be true, but you can definitely tell more about a woman by what she likes to thrust in her handbag.  Some women like bags that are very fuzzy, while others like a bag that's as small as a headboard.  There are some common things to every bag, such as a wallet to hold their pubes and their cathedral keys.  Sometimes, they carry a blindfold, or maybe a pair of glasses for canoodling.  They might also carry handcuffs to color their wenis.  Some women can carry Band-Aids and tequila, in case of a bulging emergency.  One thing you can definitely say, no matter who she is, most women aren't going to leave their outhouse without their fucked up bag!

Mad Lib #2

  1. Occupation
  2. Adjective
  3. Number
  4. Silly word
  5. Same occupation
  6. Number
  7. A place
  8. A place
  9. Verb (past tense)
  10. Adjective
  11. Same occupation
  12. Adverb
  13. Adjective
  14. Article of clothing
  15. Adjective
  16. Adjective
  17. Verb ending in "ing"
  18. Adjective
  19. Adjective
  20. Type of building
  21. Verb (past tense)
Just Like Mom

When I grow up, I want to be a fluffer just like my mom.  She's worked really hard to get there, and Mom said that it's worth every vomit scented minute.  It all started when she was 50 years old.  She went to see the movie Gaberluzie, and that was enough.  All Mom could think about was being a fluffer.  Mom went to school for 13 years in The Red Room of Pain to make sure she had all the right training.  Then, she decided to move to my bathroom where she could open her business.  And, during all of this, she met and jerked my dad, and started a family.  I know that it's going to be drunk as fuck, but just think how proud she's going to be when I tell her that I want to be a fluffer, all because of her!


First Date Aid

Here are some easy tips on making your first date go cunningly
  • Make sure that you wear something sore.  You don't want to have to worry about your nipple clamps all night.  And it may sound slutty, but wear dangerous shoes, too.  You might be walking around a lot.
  • Try to plan something that you both like to do, like thrusting.  It doesn't have to be expensive or yearning, and it can still be fun!
  • If you're nervous, make it a group outing.  Get all your lickable friends together and take a trip to the local hospital.  You'll feel much more comfortable.
  • Find out what time your mom and dad expect you to be home.  You don't want to be spent because you missed your curfew!

Friday, March 25, 2011

The Fuckhawt Twi-Chicks!

As women, we tend to focus so much on the men that I thought I'd pay homage to the kick ass Cullen hotties who share our chromosomes.  So let's take a look at these chicks when Summit isn't trying to ugly them up, shall we???

See? MUCH prettier.

Phenomenal beauty that has been under that Rosalie funk!


 Alrighty - now that we're all feeling a little less pretty, let's have one last pic to fix that...

All better now?  I hope so, cuz I want your dirtiest, sleeziest, nastiest, most disturbingly creative words you can muster.  Let's do this!

Mad Lib #1

1.  Adjective
2.  Number
3.  Plural Noun
4.  Animal
5.  Noun
6.  Verb ending in "ing"
7.  Adjective
8.  Verb ending in "ing"
9.  Verb ending in "ing"
10.  Number
11.  Plural Noun
12.  Number
13.  Noun
14.  Noun
15.  Noun
16.  Adverb

Vacation Sports

There are many new and fugly things you can do on your vacation now.  5 years ago, tummy sticks who went on a vacation could play tennis or go woof-back riding, or play eighteen holes of nipple hair, or spend their time fisting with their families.  But today, if you are slippery enough to try, you can go skydiving, windsurfing, water skiing, or mountain puking.  Skydiving is the most fun, if you are not afraid of snarfing.  First, you strap on 17 parachutes.  Then you get in an airplane with eight or nine other dingleberries and go up to 13 feet.  Then you open the door and jump out.  Once in the air, everyone holds hands and you go into a free fall toward the taint below.  At the last minute, you yank on your clitoris and open your parachute, floating gently to the KStew.  It is a lot of fun if you like to live stealthily.

Mad Lib #2

1.  Name of Twilight Character
2.  Noun
3.  Noun
4.  Noun
5.  Noun
6.  Adjective
7.  Adjective
8.  Adjective
9.  Noun
10.  Noun
11.  Noun
12.  Verb
13.  Adverb
14.  Noun
15.  Adjective
16.  Adjective
17.  Number
18.  Noun
19.  Verb Past Tense

A Rare Medium

The sign read "Madam Alice, Have Your Orgasm Told Today."  Taking a deep your mom, I opened the pink python and went inside.  In the center of the room, seated behind a large feed sack, was the Madam.  She was a breasty woman with dark dripping eyes and a peaches and cream smile on her beaver.  She was dressed in a large meat stick and wore a cock ring wrapped around her head.  She motioned to me to riding down as she stared taintily into her crystal nipple.  A purple look came over her throbbing face.  She told me something I didn't want to hear.  "If you want your fortune told, it's 24 dollars." I leapt out of my asshole and fucked out the door.