*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.


Friday, October 14, 2011

Bewbie Squishes and Ass Grabs!!!

Welcome back to all of my tainty twatwaffles who've played before, and a special fondle to any new players!  With the possible end of DML hanging over our heads at the beginning of the summer, I'm more excited than I can express to be in the position to tell you that not only are we returning, but we even have a new bar wench who will take care of all of your needs very soon.  I assure you she's VERY accommodating.  ;)

This week, I bring you a couple of libs from two new books I picked up a few days ago.  Fresh from the presses and now available for your dirty minds to massacre.  Remember to try and go in order, refresh the comments using F5 and censorship is strictly forbidden.  Here we go!

Mad Lib #1

1.  Plural Noun
2.  Verb ending in "ing"
3.  Noun
4.  Noun
5.  Plural Noun
6.  Part of the Body
7.  Noun
8.  Verb ending in "ing"
9.  Adjective
10.  Part of the Body
11.  Verb ending in "ing"
12.  Noun
13.  Noun
14.  Part of the Body
15.  Adverb
16.  Part of the Body Plural

Afraid of the Dark

I was home alone and scared out of my Jell-O shots.  I could hear the wind sucking and off in the distance a Forks was howling.  I crossed the room, locked the butt nugget, and climbed into bed. pulling the h00rs over my sparkle peen.  Then it happened.  I could hear a Rathbulge gagging up the moist stairs.  My tit started to chatter and my knees were bouncing.  The Zane Ross was thrust open and there was a huge Rikki with hair all over his taint.  It was my father.  

"Hi, we're home," he said prematurely.  "Hope you weren't afraid of staying home alone."  

"No," I said, lying through my pussy lips.

Mad Lib #2

1.  Adjective
2.  Number
3.  Plural Noun
4.  A Place
5.  Celebrity - Male
6.  Adjective
7.  A Place
8.  Adjective
9.  Adjective
10.  Noun
11.  A Place
12.  Adjective
13.  Number
14.  Noun
15.  Number
16.  Occupation
17.  Noun
18.  Adjective


Congratulations!  According to M.A.S.H. (the ultimate sleepover game), your future looks bright and sticky.  When you are 17 years old, you will met the man of your rubber gloves in New Zealand.  His name will be Peter Facinelli.  You will have a dickhead wedding, and you will go to Jackson Rathbone's bed on your promiscuous honeymoon.  When you return, you will move into a slippery beanbag in the bottom of a well.  You will drive an erect car.  Then when you have been married for 5 years, you will have your first trollop.  You will go on to have 1.7724538 more children.  You will work as an STD tester for the Jersey Shore cast until you retire and move to a tropical the good part.  Your M.A.S.H. future looks prosperous and squishy, so prepare to enjoy it!

Wednesday, May 25, 2011

Into the Sunset?

On almost the first anniversary of our venture in DML as its own blog, we say... see ya later?  Well - to be honest, we don't really know what to do.  Participation is falling and the girls need a break.  So - we're taking the summer off.

We'll be back in September, but perhaps for only a once a month game.  It's all up to our players.  If we can generate enough interest again, we'll kick it into high gear.  If not, it may be the end...

I can only speak for myself, but throughout the summer, I will be up for at least an impromptu game or two.  I'll try to get the word out at least a day in advance, if not a week.  I'm sure some of the other girls will be up for a few too.  Let us know how you feel.

I know I can speak for all the hosts when I say, regardless of the future of DML, it's been a helluva ride!  Thank you to all of our players and lurkers alike!  We appreciate the good times and many many laughs!

-SV Out...

Friday, May 13, 2011

Happy Birthday to Rob!

As you all know, today is Robert Pattinson's 25th birthday.  So to celebrate, I dedicate this DML to him.  Have fun with it!

1. Verb past tense
2. Adjective
3. Adverb
4. Verb
5. Part of the body
6. Adjective
7. Adjective
8. Verb
9. Strange Celebrity
10. Adjective
11. Adjective
12. Verb ending in ing
13. Adjective
14. Noun
15. Adjective
16. Verb ending in ing
17. Weird song
18. Adjective
19. Adjective
20. Noun
21. Verb ending in ing
22. Noun
23. Celebrity (Not Rob)
24. Adjective
25. Plural Noun
26. Verb
27. Adjective

For Rob’s birthday today, it was very difficult trying to get Edward carried with tonight’s activities. You know, because Edward thinks Rob is a huge tool and all. I never said he was the most sparkly tiny plastic vampire.

So to help us tonight, Bella has roughly agreed. She loves Rob. It turns out she may be a bit smarter than I thought. So without further ado, I give you Bella.

“Hi! I’m Bella. To help jerk Rob’s birthday, I’m going to tell you all my top 5 favorite things about Robert Pattinson!”

“Number 1. I love Rob’s jawline! It’s so unsightly and pasty. I just want to boink it!”
“Number 2. Rob’s acting.”

“His acting reminds me so much of Billy Bob Thornton's. They both present a hairy character and give the most twitchy expresions. They are also both great at sucking.”

“Number 3. Rob’s singing.”

“Rob sings like a flippy taint with so much repulsive talent. I dream about him monkeying me with his voice, singing My Ding A Ling all day long. Swoon!”

“Number 4. Rob’s fashion sense.”

“Some people say he looks like a hobo. I disagree. I think he looks bulbous in his misbuttoned confused clothing. He reminds me of a Greek bedroom with a masturbating birthday candle. Perfection.”

“And Number 5. Rob himself.”

“He is the total package. I’ve heard people say that he is so much like James Dean. Not to me. To me he is more like Tom Hanks because of the horny whips and the way he licks. He can be described as obediant.”

Happy Birthday Rob! And sorry.

Friday, May 6, 2011

Up close and personal with mom.....

Happy Mother's Day!

Mad Lib #1

  1. Plural noun
  2. Adjective
  3. Geographic location
  4. Noun
  5. Noun
  6. Verb (past tense)
  7. Noun
  8. Adjective
  9. Small city
  10. Adjective
  11. Noun
  12. Plural noun
  13. Noun
  14. Noun
Case History:
The Spoiled Child

Spoiled children constantly demand new bras to play with, as they are never satisfied with what they have.  History's most well hung example is Henry VIII.  Discontented with his first wife, Catherine of Tahiti, Henry divorced her and wed Anne Boleyn.  But she had a melancholy cadbury creme egg, so he executed her.  His next your mom, Jane Seymour, ran while giving birth, which made Henry cry like a monkey.  He got over it by ordering a new bride from a hairy country.  Unfortunately, when Anne of Hogsmead arrived, Henry screamed that he found her to be too shiny, so he set her aside and married Katherine Howard.  However, she cheated on him so he chopped off her stop sign.  Finally, there was Catherine Parr, the last of his rocket ships, who survived him.  Henry was a spoiled dogsten who grew up to become an even more spoiled hooter.  Someone should have administered a royal time-out!

Friday, April 29, 2011

A Simple Act of Kindess

Hello all my lovely ladies.  It has been a trying past couple of weeks for me so I'm super excited for the fun to ensue tonight.  I'm tired and a bit brain fried so I haven't prepared anything very creative or witty to say tonight.  So I guess we should just get right to it.

1. Adjective
2. Verb ending in ing
3. Strange Occupation
4. Noun
5. Verb
6. Noun
7. Adjective
8. Verb past tense
9. Adjective
10. Crazy Emotion
11. Verb past tense
12. Verb ending in ing
13. Plural Noun
14. Verb ending in ing
15. Adjective
16. Noun
17. Adjective
18. Adjective
19. Verb
20. Adjective
21. Noun
22. Adjective
23. Verb
24. Adjective
25. Adjective
26. Noun
27. Noun
28. Verb ending in ing
29. Verb
30. Adjective
31. Adjective

Most of you know that Edward works with me at a bank.  He doesn’t think of it of work, however.  He thinks of it more like sexy forking.  Some days I agree with him.  My close friend, and coworker, also has a mini Edward, that we call Eduardo, that would come to work with her also.  He, however, has quit the bank to become a Glory Hole Attendant.  He loves it!  But recently, Eduardo has been coming to the bank again to spend more time with his human.  And he has been reminded of why he can’t stand it there

First off, Edward makes fun of him like a taint fondles a sparkle peen.

Eduardo was only trying to educate himself on the company history, but Edward found that to be fuckhawt  behavior so he shat this long sign.

This made Eduardo feel raging lust, so he slunk his own sign in retaliation.

Since Edward had insulted Eduardo, he was now left to entertain himself.  I suggested that he try dancing mini Edwards, or maybe even thrusting an impure ballsack .  He wasn’t appreciative of my suggestions so he decided that he would just be the keeper of the keys.

But the keys were too gorgeous for Edward.

I don’t know why that made him fall over.

Anyway, Eduardo was off doing his own things.  Mostly getting frustrated.

“What a saucy calculator!  I hate this thing and I hate banking!  Someday, I am going to burst all the banks in the world and be the most hairy condom that anyone has ever seen!”  He was getting a bit dramatic so we made him spend some quality alone time.

After a couple hours of this, the boredom sent poor Eduardo into a tantrum.

 Edward then felt sorry for his friend, so he decided to cheer him up.  Edward went to NYC a couple weeks ago and brought Eduardo home a very tight gift that he was sure Eduardo would dry hump.  He chose now to give it to him.

Eduardo was so moved and leprosy scabbed that he couldn’t find words.  He appreciated the gift so much.  He was unsure what to do with it.  He thought it was a sordid Trojan Tri-phora vibrator or perhaps a cupcake with a tweeting feature.  Edward laughed at those ideas and told him it was a zipper pull or a keychain.  Eduardo experimented with the zipper pull idea.  He was pleased.

Eduardo was so happy for the rest of the day.  He stood holding his gift so he could properly fang bang it all day long.  He also fashioned a new sign to show his appreciation.

So next time you see some one who is having a rough day, a simple act of kindness can make them feel much more monstrous and make their day frazzled.

Friday, April 22, 2011

Bunny Hop

There will be no DML tonite Friday 4-22-11 due to the Easter holiday and the opening of the Water for Elephants movie.

Tune in next week for more DML fun!!

Friday, April 8, 2011

Spring has Sprung

and apparently so has Rob!!!


1. Plural Noun
2. Adjective
3. Noun
4. Plural Noun
5. Plural Noun
6. Noun
7. Type of tool
8. Plural Noun
9. Noun
10. Adjective

11. Person
12. Adjective
13. Adjective
14. Noun
15. Adjective
16. Noun
17. Adjective
18. Adjective
19. Verb
20. Verb
21. Person
22. Verb
23. Adjective
24. Verb

Spring Garden

Planting a vegetable garden is not only fun, it also helps save Boobies. You will need a piece of sticky land. You may need a witch to keep the dead prostitutes and dingleberries out. As soon as the wedge is here you can go out there with your SCREWdriver and plant all kinds of taints. Then in a few months, you will have corn on the sperm burping bitch and big, skeevy flowers.

Trip to the Park!

Yesterday, Sister Mary Frances and Mrs. Cope went to the park. On our way to the tired as fuck park, we saw a char broiled one eyed snake on a bike. We also saw big sparkly peen balloons tied to a qweef. Once we got to the fugly park, the sky turned drippy. It started to cum guzzle and spank. Yo Momma and your mom nuzzled all the way home. Tomorrow we will try to go to the whoretastic park again and hope it doesn't ass pound.

1. Verb(ing)
2. Adjective
3. Verb(ing)
4. Part of Body
5. Adverb
6. Part of Body
7. Noun
8. Verb
9. Animal
10. Noun
11. Verb
12. Adjective
13. Color

Bike Riding!

Baby Making is a bump and grind form of exercise. Squirting a bicycle enables you to develop your poop chute muscles as well as quickly increase the rate of your tender taint beat. More cum dumpsters around the world dry hump bicycles than ride elephants. No matter what kind of clit blister you circumcise, always be sure to wear a vicious helmet. make sure to have puce reflectors too.