Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, October 14, 2011

Bewbie Squishes and Ass Grabs!!!

Welcome back to all of my tainty twatwaffles who've played before, and a special fondle to any new players!  With the possible end of DML hanging over our heads at the beginning of the summer, I'm more excited than I can express to be in the position to tell you that not only are we returning, but we even have a new bar wench who will take care of all of your needs very soon.  I assure you she's VERY accommodating.  ;)

This week, I bring you a couple of libs from two new books I picked up a few days ago.  Fresh from the presses and now available for your dirty minds to massacre.  Remember to try and go in order, refresh the comments using F5 and censorship is strictly forbidden.  Here we go!

Mad Lib #1

1.  Plural Noun
2.  Verb ending in "ing"
3.  Noun
4.  Noun
5.  Plural Noun
6.  Part of the Body
7.  Noun
8.  Verb ending in "ing"
9.  Adjective
10.  Part of the Body
11.  Verb ending in "ing"
12.  Noun
13.  Noun
14.  Part of the Body
15.  Adverb
16.  Part of the Body Plural


Afraid of the Dark

I was home alone and scared out of my Jell-O shots.  I could hear the wind sucking and off in the distance a Forks was howling.  I crossed the room, locked the butt nugget, and climbed into bed. pulling the h00rs over my sparkle peen.  Then it happened.  I could hear a Rathbulge gagging up the moist stairs.  My tit started to chatter and my knees were bouncing.  The Zane Ross was thrust open and there was a huge Rikki with hair all over his taint.  It was my father.  

"Hi, we're home," he said prematurely.  "Hope you weren't afraid of staying home alone."  

"No," I said, lying through my pussy lips.


Mad Lib #2

1.  Adjective
2.  Number
3.  Plural Noun
4.  A Place
5.  Celebrity - Male
6.  Adjective
7.  A Place
8.  Adjective
9.  Adjective
10.  Noun
11.  A Place
12.  Adjective
13.  Number
14.  Noun
15.  Number
16.  Occupation
17.  Noun
18.  Adjective


M.A.S.H.

Congratulations!  According to M.A.S.H. (the ultimate sleepover game), your future looks bright and sticky.  When you are 17 years old, you will met the man of your rubber gloves in New Zealand.  His name will be Peter Facinelli.  You will have a dickhead wedding, and you will go to Jackson Rathbone's bed on your promiscuous honeymoon.  When you return, you will move into a slippery beanbag in the bottom of a well.  You will drive an erect car.  Then when you have been married for 5 years, you will have your first trollop.  You will go on to have 1.7724538 more children.  You will work as an STD tester for the Jersey Shore cast until you retire and move to a tropical the good part.  Your M.A.S.H. future looks prosperous and squishy, so prepare to enjoy it!

167 comments:

Twi-Lin said...

I'll start it off..
1) jello shots

Jaymes805 said...

A new bar wench?!?! She must be awesome!

rottymama said...

#2 sucking

Jaymes805 said...

2. Boinking
btw it wont let me comment under my google acct :(

Rikki_DD said...

OMG I miss all of you h00rs so much!

StarlitViolets said...

Welcome ladies!!!

And Jaymes805 - So weird! Hmm... Hopefully it won't be that way for everyone.

Jaymes805 said...

Let's try this again... testies testies 1 2

rottymama said...

#3 FORKS!

rottymama said...

i c u Jaymes

Jaymes805 said...

4. Butt nugget

Jaymes805 said...

Rikki aren't you supposed to be on a date taking penis pics for me?

Living with Edward said...

are we actually dmling?! It feels like the old days!

Twi-Lin said...

5 - H00rs

Jaymes805 said...

It is old days!

Rikki_DD said...

I don't have to meet him until 8 tonight, so I'm playing and then getting ready.

Rikki_DD said...

6 sparklepeen

Jaymes805 said...

@Twi-Lin - Orson Brawl just came on! Thought of you and how STOKED we got at the Elks Lodge haha

Jaymes805 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
rottymama said...

# 6 middle finger

Twi-Lin said...

@Rikki_DD This is a great way to get ready for your date! :)

Jaymes805 said...

7. rathbulge

Rikki_DD said...

@jaymes 100 Monkeys will be in Vegas tomorrow...with the evil radio station. So conflicted on going...

rottymama said...

#8 gaging

Twi-Lin said...

Love the Rathbulge! Mmmmmm!

Living with Edward said...

Oh my god, I can't think of any words. None at all. My mind is at a total blank.

rottymama said...

#9 staring--like with your eyes

Jaymes805 said...

10. Tit

Living with Edward said...

staring is a verb.

Twi-Lin said...

11 bouncing

Jaymes805 said...

Rikki, dude.... THAT'S the radio station they are playing for?! Why would they even have anything to do with them. That's weird. But still... GO!

rottymama said...

#10 tip of my tongue---haha 2.5 glasses of wine!

Living with Edward said...

wait, I'm not hosting. Why am I making corrections? Oh. that would be because I can't think of any words and it is the only way I feel like I'm being useful in this game.

Rikki_DD said...

12 Zane Ross - what he's a person!

Jaymes805 said...

Corrinne.... thanks for helping me not bank like a douche. I almost did. That would have been sadness!

Jaymes805 said...

13. Rikki

rottymama said...

sorry, see previous 2.5

StarlitViolets said...

I need an adjective for 9.

Rikki_DD said...

LOL JAMIE!!!!

Jaymes805 said...

9. moist

Living with Edward said...

you're welcome Jamie! No problem! Anything you need, I'm your girl. Usually if you know someone at the bank we can make exceptions for you and stuff that someone else might not, so never hesitate to call or text if you need anything!

blue_darcy said...

#9sparkly

Twi-Lin said...

When I hear the word moist I giggle. :)

Jaymes805 said...

C- I need money... can you make an exception with that? <--- totes kidding

Living with Edward said...

I'll see what I can do.

Rikki_DD said...

Hi Darcy!!! :)

Jaymes805 said...

But thank you!!! I really appreciate it. I hate asking people AT the bank that I don't know because they're like 'Can't help you, sorry!

@twi-lin haha I hate that word. And the word tits. But I somehow just managed to use both. Grosss

Living with Edward said...

14 taint

StarlitViolets said...

Now we're on #14 Part of the Body. ;)

Rikki_DD said...

What number are we on??

StarlitViolets said...

LOL! NM - WTG LwE!!!

Jaymes805 said...

Rikki- A little birdie told me that Zane is coming to Cali soon. Hint: that litle birdie was Zane. Looks like you need to come visit and show him around. Don't forget your car seat! ;)

blue_darcy said...

Hey Ricky! This game goes to fast for me! :)

rottymama said...

#14 butt

Twi-Lin said...

14 pussy lips

Living with Edward said...

We at the bank get sick of people and end up just wanting to say no so we don't have to deal with it and find the person stupid even if they aren't, but we believe they are. Also Wells makes it hard for us to help people too. They have taken away a lot of authority from us that we had before to be able to help people better.

rottymama said...

@Twi-lin LOL!!!

Twi-Lin said...

opps that plural... we could use it for 16.

Living with Edward said...

All the credit goes to Musing Bella. She reminded me.

Rikki_DD said...

Jamie, he must have moved on from me and has decided to climb the Jamie tree. I can loan you my carseat if you need it :)

Jaymes805 said...

15. prematurely ?

StarlitViolets said...

k - now we just need an adverb for 15.

Twi-Lin said...

16 pussy lips!

Jaymes805 said...

Lol no way Rikki. He told me this a long time ago haha

rottymama said...

#16 fingers

Anonymous said...

I dont think I can follow up with any thing better than pussy-lips!

StarlitViolets said...

OOO! Perfect! I'll be back with the results and the second lib!

Jaymes805 said...

He still wants to explore the Rikki mountains

Jaymes805 said...

yay! I need to think of better words

Rikki_DD said...

You mean my TITS???

Living with Edward said...

I need to just think of words!

Jaymes805 said...

EWWWWWWWW

rottymama said...

@Rikki, you saying that, looking at your avi is too funny!

TwiKiwiFifty said...

Hey laideeeeeeees!!!

Twi-Lin said...

Loved "pulling the h00rs over my sparkle peen"

Jaymes805 said...

Lol LeW...you need that book that helps people come up with creative dirty words

StarlitViolets said...

Okay girls! Round two! Give it to me dirty!

Twi-Lin said...

Hey Amy in NZ! Miss you bb!

Jaymes805 said...

Hi Twikiwi!!!!!

TwiKiwiFifty said...

I just came inside from gardening. It's a beautiful spring afternoon and I'm sacrificing it for you h00rs. Where we up to? I iz rusty at this game...

Jaymes805 said...

HAHAHAHAHAHA THAT WAS AWESOME!

Rikki_DD said...

And there goes my vodka all over my bed after reading that

Jaymes805 said...

1. STICKY

Twi-Lin said...

2.fucking

TwiKiwiFifty said...

2. 17!!! (is Lisa even here?)

Rikki_DD said...

2. 69 Dude! - I got Bill & Ted on the brain

Jaymes805 said...

Lisa's sick :(

TwiKiwiFifty said...

I can hear my neighbour's american accent. She sounds like LatchkeyWife.

4. NEW ZEALAND! Duh! (I call dibs on this one)

Jaymes805 said...

Awww MAN! I WANTED TO SAY 4. Jackson's bed

rottymama said...

#3 rubber gloves

Twi-Lin said...

I'm looking at the wrong list.

Jaymes805 said...

I had it all ready and kept hitting refresh :(

StarlitViolets said...

LOL! RM @ rubber gloves!

Living with Edward said...

Oh dear. I wonder if I ever lied through my pussy lips......

Twi-Lin said...

The f9 to refresh doesn't work on my laptop. I have to keep closing and clicking the comments. :(

TwiKiwiFifty said...

@Jaymes - HAHAHA I got there first.

5. Peter Facinelli

Rikki_DD said...

5 michael bolton!!!!

rottymama said...

#4 back seat of a car

Jaymes805 said...

lol!!!

rottymama said...

LOL #5 taken

TwiKiwiFifty said...

@Twi-Lin - I use F5.

Jaymes805 said...

5. Mike Newton (dibs on this for Amanda's bday) :)

Twi-Lin said...

lying through your pussy lips is called faking an O.

Jaymes805 said...

Aw man I suck at this! Toooo slow :(

rottymama said...

#5 charlie sheen--winning!

Rikki_DD said...

LMAO Jamie I thought I read Matt Newton

TwiKiwiFifty said...

Holy shit. I just read #1.

Oh how I have missed this with you h00rs!

rottymama said...

#6 dickhead

Living with Edward said...

Hm, then I have never done that.

Living with Edward said...

7 Jackson Rathbone's bed

Twi-Lin said...

@Living w/ Edward
That's good...I had to w/ my high school bf.

TwiKiwiFifty said...

#6 flaccid

StarlitViolets said...

OOO! LwE FTW!

Living with Edward said...

You're welcome Jamie.

Jaymes805 said...

Shameless plug...Since Amanda isn't here, if anyone wants me to post a pic/ecard or message for Amanda on her 30th bday blog post, email it to me and I'll add it. :) I just need it by Tuesday morning.

Twi-Lin said...

8 Promiscuous

Jaymes805 said...

AWWWW THANKS LEW!

TwiKiwiFifty said...

#8 robust

Living with Edward said...

I never did it with a highschool boy. Maybe that's why I was able to skip that womanly right.

Jaymes805 said...

9. slippery

Rikki_DD said...

Jamie do I send her the present to the address I have already?

TwiKiwiFifty said...

I'll email you something Jamie, thanks for the reminder

Jaymes805 said...

I think I only faked an O a few times... when I was like tired or something and just wanted it to be over.

Jaymes805 said...

Rikki - Yes ma'am! I think... you have my address right? haha

TwiKiwiFifty said...

10. Beanbag

rottymama said...

Here we are! Where are we?

Living with Edward said...

11. The bottom of a well

Living with Edward said...

that was lame.

Rikki_DD said...

Yup, still got the address! It might be late though...

TwiKiwiFifty said...

@12 erect

Jaymes805 said...

No it wasn't! Unless there is vervain down there. Then it's lame

StarlitViolets said...

LWE - That was funny babe! It fit well. Promise.

Jaymes805 said...

13. 5

Living with Edward said...

Nope. No vervain. Just a shit load of pennies.

Twi-Lin said...

14. Trollop

TwiKiwiFifty said...

#13.... 13.

rottymama said...

LOL Vervain

Living with Edward said...

14 The good part.

rottymama said...

#13--17

Jaymes805 said...

HAHAHAHAHAHAHA "THE GOOD PART"!!!!

Living with Edward said...

Oh good. phew

Rikki_DD said...

YES!!!!!! *high fives* Corrinne

Twi-Lin said...

@TwiKiwififty - thanks F5 works...I'm a dits today too many muscle relaxers.

Living with Edward said...

Too bad it didn't make it in time. Maybe for 17. hover over your F5s!

TwiKiwiFifty said...

#15 1.77245385

I don't wanna know what the square root of pi is...

hmm, did I get that right? #suckatmoviequotes

Rikki_DD said...

16 STD tester for Jersey Shore Cast

Living with Edward said...

17 the good part!

rottymama said...

#16 sperm collector

Jaymes805 said...

18. SQUISHY

TwiKiwiFifty said...

So is DML back on the regular now?

rottymama said...

#18 shiney

Living with Edward said...

Std tester for the jersey shore. THat has to be an 80 hr a week job.

Rikki_DD said...

They try to pay the overtime in tanner I bet

StarlitViolets said...

K ladies - be back in a sec! ;)

And TwiKiwiFifty - YES!!!

Living with Edward said...

Most likely. and hair gel

TwiKiwiFifty said...

Woot!!! thanks SLV!

Jaymes805 said...

that's not hair gel!

Rikki_DD said...

Ah man, the occupation Uterus muncher just came into my brain...dammit

StarlitViolets said...

It's up!!! Thanks ladies for playing again! It was a joy! See you all on Twitter in just a few - gotta get a refill. ;)

MWAH!!! xoxoxo

Jaymes805 said...

That was fun!!! Thanks loves!

Twi-Lin said...

Hey the title of our first mad libs was the improv song at my 1st 100 Monkeys concert - Afraid of the Dark. Jackson was soooooo freaking hot that night when he threw off his yellow hat!

Rikki_DD said...

So glad that it's back! Okay, now I need to go get ready for this date...and no penis pic Jamie!

TwiKiwiFifty said...

Brilliant! Thanks h00rs. I am going back outside to plant my veggies now. Laters x

rottymama said...

LOL!!! VERY FUNNY! GOOD TIMES LADIES!

Twi-Lin said...

That was fun girls! :)

Living with Edward said...

OH that was wonderful!

mmMoxie said...

DUUUUDE! I had no idea we were playing again. Is it weekly, monthly? Is there a schedule? I didn't get an email if there was one sent.

mmMoxie said...

BTW, there were hilarious!