Pajama Party!!!

So we gather here, each week, all women (to my knowlege), and we are usually in our pjs, playing Mad Libs, while we drink.  What does that say to you?
 

FUCKING PAJAMA PARTY!!! 

I know what I'M wearing.  As soon as he ditches his jammies!

This is our very own international, no-driving-required, swear-up-a-storm drinkfest!!!  So ladies, let's make these ones extra dirty cuz we ARE actually grown-ups and can say whatever the fuck we want!

Mad Lib #1
Hint:  Why you should never be nice to old people.

1.  Color
2.  Plural Noun
3.  Adjective
4.  Exclamation
5.  Silly Word
6.  Verb ending in -ed
7.  Plural Noun
8.  Verb
9.  Plural Noun
10.  Verb
11.  Plural Noun
12.  Disease
13.  Verb ending in -ing
14.  Verb -ing
15.  Place

Little Purple Riding Hood

One day, Little Purple Riding Hood was thrusting through the forest carrying a basket of dicks for her grandmother.  Suddenly, she met a big eeri wolf. 

"SAY IT!" said the wolf.  "Where are you going, little taint?" 

"I'm going to my grandmother's Rio," she said.

Then the wolf stomped away.  When Miss Riding Hood got to her grandmother's house, the wolf was in bed dressed like her grandmother.

"My, Grandmother, " she said.  "What big ballsacks you have."

"The better to grope you with," said the wolf.

"And Grandmother," she said, "what big cunts you have."

The wolf said, "The better to ball bust you with."

And then she said, "What big cock rings you have, Grandmother."

But the wolf said nothing.  He had just died of genital warts from squatting Grandmother.

Mad Lib #2

Hint:  Be careful who you tell.

1.  Plural Noun

2.  Adjective

3.  Plural Noun

4.  Adjective

5.  Adjective

6.  Noun

7.  Twi-related Last Name

8.  Twi-related Last Name

9.  Place

10.  Twi-related Last Name

11.  Part of Body

12.  Type of Liquid

13.  Article of Clothing (Plural)

14.  Relative (ie. cousin, sister, brother, etc)

15.  Piece of Furniture

16.  Verb ending in -ing

17.  Adjective

Campfire Stories

It is always fun to chop up some pants and use them to build a/an moist campfire.  Then you get all of the tantra chairs to sit around the fire and tell scary stories.  You can tell about Ichabod Crane, the crusty school teacher of Sleepy Hollow and his sticky sweet adventures with the Headless Tongue.  Or you can tell "The Fall of the House of Hale," which was written Edgar Allen Cullen.  Or you can tell about vampires from behind the dumpster, like the terrible Count Swan, who bit people on the taint and drank their jizz.  By this time, many of the young campers will start shaking in their panites and will behin yelling for their second cousin's mother-in-law's uncle and go hide under a headboard.  Believe me, when it comes to finger-fucking a bunch of campers, there's nothing like a really late ghost story.

Thanks to everyone for playing!

Come back next week for Dangrdafne's turn to host!

-SV out!

My Name Is StarlitViolets and I Will Be Your Guide For the Evening

Welcome h00rs and twatwaffles, sluts and bitches, dirty dirty girls, fanfic addicts, tweetaholics, and the one normal person who is sure to be here somewhere... Maybe.

In the spirit of FFFOOORRRKKKSSS, I'll be taking you all on a guided tour of jackassery! Tonight we're serving for refreshments: Liquid Courage with a side of Trucker Talk.

I gotta get this for STY!

For your viewing pleasure, I present your choice of hottie pants (please only take one):

See? They're even travel size!

Now that we've satisfied your more basic needs, let's see where this tour on the crazybus takes us.

Mad Lib #1

1. Plural Noun

2. Plural Noun

3. Name of a Fellow DMLer

4. Noun

5. Adjective

6. Noun

7. Adjective

8. Adjective

9. Plural Noun

10. Part of the Body

11. Plural Noun

12. Adjective

13. Noun

14. Adjective

15. Part of the Body Plural

16. Plural Noun

17. Noun

18. Another Fellow DMLer

19. Number

20. Part of the Body Plural

21. Plural Noun

A Tour of Hollywood

Good morning, ladies and cock-juggling cum sponges, boys and knob jockeys. My name is Lisa. I am your personal Twilight Tour guide. For the next six hours, we will delight in exploring romantic, slimy Hollywood, the glamour Snooki of the world. Let's start off with a bang and visit Grauman's Cocktastic Theater, Hollywood's most cooterlicious tourist attraction. You'll see etched in cement the foot-Fooooorks and labia majora-prints of the most famous movie Cullens ever to adorn the red screen. Then it's only a hop, skip, and a nipple to Beverly Hills, the playground of the rich and dysfunctional. You will feast your butt cheeks on the million dollar orgasms of movie stars. You'll actually get to visit the home of today's hottest goatse, Mini Edward, who will sign autographs for the low, low sum of 107 dollars each. And here's the big one! For lunch, we'll be going to a studio commisary, where you can rub testicles with today's leading actors and unicorns. All Aboard!

Mad Lib #2

1. Adjective
2. Adjective
3. Verb
4. Noun
5. Noun
6. Plural Noun
7. Adverb
8. Verb
9. Adjective
10. Verb
11. Plural Noun
12. Adjective
13. Verb
14. Adjective
15. Verb
16. Adjective
17. Adjective
18. Plural Noun

How To Study

Combersome teachers always give out phosphorescent assignments. But as everyone knows, you want to oscillate all your classes, so you can go to a troglodite, and someday become president of a big international butternut squash, and have millions of beef curtains in the bank. So you must do your homework and study whorishly. If you just sit around and thrust, you won't get ahead in life. You must learn to pay attention to every sticky thing your teacher says. Do not consummate or whisper to other ball sacks during class. Be sure to have a nice, messy notebook in which you can lick anything the teacher says that seems sploogerrific. Then go home and whip all of those assingtastic notes. When your teacher gives an obsequious quiz, you will know all of the ming readers.

MiniE Starts DML Off Right!

WELCOME!!! Tonight we are kicking off a new revolution in DML! It's dirtier, drunker, and drenched in debauchery! I am your host for the evening, StarlitViolets, from:

***Violet Delights***

I'd also like to introduce my partners in crime and their home blogs:

DangrDafne Days of Delirium - hosted by our one and only DangrDafne

17 forever - hosted by the lovely 17foreverlisa

*And, of course - the original home of DML and its Queen*

Twilight SagaPalooza - hosted by none other than mmMoxie

The four of us will be taking turns hosting, so you get a little variety in your weekly dose of DML! This week though - you're stuck with me! I may have my own style, but we'll pretty much stick to mmMoxie's formula that has grown DML into a regular Friday night lush lounge!

So pick up a drink or two, set Twitter aside, and toss in your two cents, or more if you want to! And if you've been a lurker and always wanted to play DML - this is your shot! Just jump in and give us a few of your dirtiest.

When I found out I was going to be hosting, I knew I needed some help and LOTS of Mad Libs! So MiniE and I took a little trip to Barnes & Noble. And here's what we ended up with...

I finally got the Mad Libs away from MiniE by bribing him...

...with a little Bree Tanner action... He's such a perv!

Since we've somehow inexplicably been able to relate Twilight to EVERYTHING, I figured I should do the same for DML - so - I'll be giving a convoluted "hint" each time I host that is both the reason I picked it and a small clue as to what we're dealing with tonight. LET'S DO THIS!!!

Mad Lib #1

Hint: Dirty Pirate Hookers From Whore Island!

1. Noun

2. Adjective

3. Verb

4. Adverb

5. Noun

6. Adjective

7. Plural Noun

8. Plural Noun

9. Plural Noun

10. Part of the Body

11. Noun

12. Noun

13. Noun

14. Noun

15. Part of the Body

***

If you haven't already, read the directions up top and leave your answers in the comments. I'll post it soon after we finish. We MAY even do two... If the first is DIRTY enough.

Talk Like a Pirate

Ye can always pretend to be a bloodthirsty Robowski, threatening everyone by waving yer gangly sword in the air, but until ye learn to suck like a pirate, ye'll never be seductively accepted as an authentic greasy taint. So here's what ye do: Cleverly work into yer daily conversations putrid pirate phrases such as "Ahoy there, boobs," "Avast, ye butt pirates," and "Shiver me scrotums." Remember to drop all yer gs when ye say such words as sailin', spittin', and fightin'. This will give ye a/an Sparkle Peen start to being recognized as a swashbucklin' cock holster. Once ye have the lingo down pat, it helps to wear a three-cornered clit hood on yer head, stash a/an cum bubble in your pants, and keep a/an peg-legged dildo perched atop your GUNT. Aye, now ye be a real pirate (hooker)!

Mad Lib #2