Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, August 6, 2010

Three Times As DIRTY!!!

We all know that real life is a fucking slut-faced, bug-ridden, skanky whore sometimes, right?! Duh! That's why we're all here! We need to ESCAPE the grip of reality. We need to exist in a place where h00rs rule and gather in a semi-drunken attempt to think of parts of speech and tweet their brains out.
We need THIS GUY...

Sorry Edward, I cheated on you with Damon...


...to bring us cocktails on a platter. But most of all, we need ANY excuse to talk Twilight.

This week I bring you the possibility of two Mad Libs, if the first is DIRTY enough. You chicks have the filthiest minds in the bloggysphere - don't disappoint! Make is naughty, sexy, slutty, dirty, dastardly, and daring! Let loose your inner trucker, hookers!

After seeing Eclipse for the third time, winning Edbrella's Friday Fun Five three times, and realizing that this is my third time hosting DML, I knew the number three was on my side. Maybe I should drink three cocktails before hosting... or eat three pieces of chocolate... or even have three orga- uhhh, I'll just keep that to myself. But see? I'm already in the mindset! So today we honor the number 3 by making these two libs 3 times as DIRTY!!! Go!



Mad Lib #1

Hint: See Above FUCKHAWT Photo


1. Last Name
2. Adverb
3. Adjective
4. First Name (Male)
5. First Name (Female)
6. Adjective
7. Adverb
8. Noun
9. Noun
10. Noun
11. Noun
12. Noun
13. Number
14. Noun
15. Type of Liquid
16. Exclamation
17. Noun



An Adult Western

Tex Lutz, the marshal of Dodge city, rode into town. He sat longingly in the saddle, ready for trouble. He knew that his fuckhawt enemy, Michael the Kid, was in town. The Kid was in love with Tex's horse, Shakira. Suddenly, the Kid came out of the Foxy Nugget Saloon. "Draw, Tex!" he yelled whorishly.
Tex reached for his hot beef, but before he could get it out of his knobjockey, the Kid fired twice, hitting Tex in the taint and the cum bubble. As Tex fell, he pulled his own popsicle and shot the Kid 69 times in the yeast infection. The Kid dropped in a pool of semen.
"FUCKNUTS!" Tex said. "I hated to do it, but he was on the wrong side of the cunt cake."



Mad Lib #2
Hint: CW&IA Treats
1. Adjective
2. Noun
3. Adjective
4. Part of the Body
5. Noun
6. Noun
7. Adjective
8. Noun
9. Noun
10. Verb
11. Adjective
12. Adjective
13. Plural Noun
14. Part of the Body
15. Noun
16. Adjective
17. Type of Liquid
18. Adverb



Ode To a Cupcake

O, slimy cupcake, how I love thee! Let me count the ways. Your frosting is as sweet as a summer's slippery knuckle. Just the pimptastic thought of you makes my taint water. Whether you are made of vanilla titties topped with chocolate butter-smegma frosting or made of fuckable cake with inflamed vulva-flavored frosting, it does not make a/an jockstrap of difference to me. I love you no matter how you double fist it. And, O! There are so many buttery ways to devour your scrumdiddlyumptious deliciousness. One may lick all the nutsacks off the top first - or simply shove you into one's bellybutton in a single shackle. All a person needs is a/an beguiling glass of cool boxed wine and the cupcake experience is stupidly complete!


Mad Lib #3
Hint: Dream Guy!
1. Adjective
2. Noun
3. Noun
4. Adjective
5. Noun
6. Adjective
7. Plural Noun
8. Part of Body (Plural)
9. Noun
10. Color
11. Noun
12. Plural Noun
13. Adjective
14. Noun
15. Noun
16. Adjective
17. Noun
18. Noun


Snowman-Building
Question: What kid hasn't love the crazy thrill of building a douche-man?
Answer: Kids who live where the ass clown never stops shining. Nevertheless, snowman-building is one of the most creamy competitions at the winter games. Each team is given several hundred pounds of powdered glitter lube to mold and shape into what they hope will be the most whorish snowman anyone has ever laid dumbasses on. This year's winner was so adorable that everyone wanted to throw their taints around him and hug his tallywhacker. They used a bright puce vibrating cock ring for his nose, two shiny nipple rings for his eyes, and a hairy Robporn on his head for a hat. In addition, they put a corncob pooper in his mouth and tie a shitty scarf around his neck. Their prize-winning tongue quickly became the talk of the threesome.

231 comments:

1 – 200 of 231   Newer›   Newest»
Dangrdafne said...

1. Lutz

StarlitViolets said...

NICE!!! DD!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

HOwdy :) is it time?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

GAH!!! How do you automatically refresh ON A MAC????

Dangrdafne said...

It's time!!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Mackie....don't fail me now!

Dangrdafne said...

the fn button and the F5

Porphyrias_Curse said...

2) longingly

StarlitViolets said...

YAY PC and Mrs. P!!! You made it!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

off to google how to refresh on a mac...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

thanks DD!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

test

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

nope...no go

StarlitViolets said...

Can we get a #3???

Porphyrias_Curse said...

3)adj fuckhawt

I_heart_Fifty said...

LADIES!!!

1) Facinelli

Dangrdafne said...

try apple picture button (command key) and R

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

just accidentally activated voice over...we dont want that!!!

StarlitViolets said...

Welcome IHF!!!

Dangrdafne said...

try the combo right above your last comment

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

yes!! DD---that worked. Im in now

Dangrdafne said...

4. Michael

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

5. Shakira

Porphyrias_Curse said...

hehe..thats what he said

Dangrdafne said...

@Mrs P - you can thank the hubby :) good for something today LOL

Dangrdafne said...

PC - good catch on Mrs. P LOL!!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

thank you Mr. DD !!

I_heart_Fifty said...

Fuck! how do you refresh? F something?

I suck at this...

5) Foxy

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@PC!!! LMAO!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

f5 to refresh... 6) whorishly

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@fifty---F5

mmMoxie said...

Holy shit ballz I'm late! What # are we on?

Porphyrias_Curse said...

oops, i did 7 before 6

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

7) teasingly

Porphyrias_Curse said...

um 6) adj sticky

mmMoxie said...

#8 hot beef

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

lets redline Mox

StarlitViolets said...

We need #8 Noun.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

9 knobjockey

I_heart_Fifty said...

Thanks everyone!

6)fuckawesome

mmMoxie said...

You go ahead and try Mrs. P!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Nice PC!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

thx :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@Mox---LMAO!!!

Dangrdafne said...

10. taint

I_heart_Fifty said...

9) vibrator

Porphyrias_Curse said...

10 fuckstick

mmMoxie said...

11. slick knuckle

Porphyrias_Curse said...

LMAO....must defer to the taint

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

11) clit

TigerlilyRose said...

11. noun pump master

Porphyrias_Curse said...

12-cum bubble

Dangrdafne said...

Wizards of Waverly Place keeps saying Moxie over and over LOL!!!

I_heart_Fifty said...

12) popsicle... mmm...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

12) hemroid

StarlitViolets said...

IHF - I did vibrator for #11 - so we need a #12 Noun.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

13) 69

TigerlilyRose said...

12 pump master

Porphyrias_Curse said...

13~ 17

mmMoxie said...

OMG this Muse song from the Eclipse soundtrack makes me want to hunt the band down and kick them in the nuts.

Dangrdafne said...

13. 2417

I_heart_Fifty said...

oops my bad

12)whip

TigerlilyRose said...

LOL...OMG, I read number as NUMBer. like to make numb...LOL I was going to say mary jane...

mmMoxie said...

#14 yeast infection

I_heart_Fifty said...

13) 17 - since Lisa's not here

Dangrdafne said...

15. semen

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

16) FUCKNUTS!

I_heart_Fifty said...

15)lady juices

I_heart_Fifty said...

16) Jesus Mother Fucking Hamster Fucker!

mmMoxie said...

#17 - cunt cake

Porphyrias_Curse said...

16) Well Fuck Me Sideways!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

awesome! Mox ends us with cake....

mmMoxie said...

I don't wanna eat that cake

TigerlilyRose said...

everything is better when it ends with cake!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

it's always nice to end with cake lol

Porphyrias_Curse said...

lol...it's in the same family as fur pie I believe..

StarlitViolets said...

K. Just a sec and I'll get them up.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

that what she said

mmMoxie said...

@PC - yes.....not my kind of dessert.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

good timing...time to go make some chikin nuggetts......why do children require food?

mmMoxie said...

Kids are jerks

StarlitViolets said...

Done ladies!!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

LMAO! he reached for his hot beef!!!

I_heart_Fifty said...

Ah yes, reaching for hot beef. Man's best friend.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh that is funny....

TigerlilyRose said...

1 adj. slimy

StarlitViolets said...

Round 2 Ladies!!!

mmMoxie said...

ROFL. Nice one ladies. We are some classy ass bitches

mmMoxie said...

#2 slipper knuckle

Porphyrias_Curse said...

im totally going to get my #1 in here......1)adj pimptastic

I_heart_Fifty said...

1) Wet

mmMoxie said...

thats supposed to be "slippery"

Porphyrias_Curse said...

damn

I_heart_Fifty said...

2) pogostick

TigerlilyRose said...

4 part of body taint

Porphyrias_Curse said...

3) pimptastic ! lol

I_heart_Fifty said...

3) silky smooth

TigerlilyRose said...

3 adj lickable

Porphyrias_Curse said...

5) smegma

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - what the HELL is a slipper knuckle???!!! I usually get your sick sense of humor - but I'm LOST on this one! LMAO!

I_heart_Fifty said...

4) ankles

TigerlilyRose said...

#5?

TigerlilyRose said...

#6 noun titties

TigerlilyRose said...

#6 noun titties

Porphyrias_Curse said...

7) adj fuckable

mmMoxie said...

@SV - its supposed to be "slippery knuckle" You can take it however you'd like.

I_heart_Fifty said...

7) Robust

TigerlilyRose said...

weird, blogger liked my titties so much it posted twice...LOL

mmMoxie said...

#8 inflamed vulva

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

maybe I should have the list of words up to help...MACKIE!!!

mmMoxie said...

LOL TLR - you can't have just one titties

Porphyrias_Curse said...

well two titties are awesome, one is just ...odd lol

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

9 jockstrap

Porphyrias_Curse said...

10)v double fisting

mmMoxie said...

@Mrs. P - are you thoroughly enjoying Mackie? I love to right click as word for the pop up dictionary. It makes my Mac spoodge when I do it.

Living with Edward said...

11. Buttery

TigerlilyRose said...

LOL. Mox...it posted them twice. and noun is Pair of titties...

Porphyrias_Curse said...

12) scrumdiddlyumptous

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@Mox---I didn't know I could do that! I just right clicked Fisting...

I_heart_Fifty said...

12) rock hard

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I like it cause it has the word diddly in it hehe

mmMoxie said...

LOL Mrs. P - I hope Mackie can contain him/herself

I_heart_Fifty said...

13) nutsacks

Porphyrias_Curse said...

13)twats

mmMoxie said...

#13 - taints

Porphyrias_Curse said...

14) bellybutton

mmMoxie said...

damn

#14 - pooper

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

14) knee cap

mmMoxie said...

shit!

I_heart_Fifty said...

14) eyelashes

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

15) shackle

mmMoxie said...

I'm too slow tonight.

Living with Edward said...

15 double A battery

Porphyrias_Curse said...

16 beguiling

Porphyrias_Curse said...

17) wine in a box

Living with Edward said...

This is so cool. I'm playing DML from Michigan. Same game, same people, different location. The interwebs are like a miracle!!

mmMoxie said...

#17 jiz

mmMoxie said...

@LwE - it's amazaballs!

Living with Edward said...

18 stupidly

Porphyrias_Curse said...

Michigain, that's right next door to me (Indiana) :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@LWE---Its like you are in your livingroom, right?

mmMoxie said...

#18 - fartily

I_heart_Fifty said...

@LwE and I'm in New Zealand - but feel like I'm in the same room as you. WWWonderful!

mmMoxie said...

jeebuzz. I don't think I got one word in on ML#2

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

@LWE---Don't splode on us now

Living with Edward said...

@mmMoxie: It is amazaballs!! LOL

@PC: I'll be right over!

@Mrs.P: Technically my bedroom, but yes!

I_heart_Fifty said...

I'm way too slow for this game. But I fucking love it anyway :)

StarlitViolets said...

Done and UP!!!

mmMoxie said...

The Eclipse soundtrack is buggin me

Porphyrias_Curse said...

LWE ~ seriously me and Eclipse Edward went to a bar in MI last weekend and I got some pics of him on the mechanical bull :)

Dangrdafne said...

@ I Heart Fifty - I can't believe you are in New Zealand and played with us. I forgot where you were. that is WAAAAAY cool.

Sorry I got lost for #2, DangrDonna called to talk FFOORRKKSS!!

Living with Edward said...

@ I heart Fifty: Fascinating!! LOL

@Mrs.P: I can never promise no sploding. Wait till all the sploding there is going to be in FOOORRKKSS!

Dangrdafne said...

@ PC - you must share said pictures please

mmMoxie said...

LMFAO! I'm gonna start saying "I love you no matter how you double fist it" all the time.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

Reading that made me feel kinda dirty...lol..the flavors...(shudder)

Living with Edward said...

@PC: Where can we see those pics?!!

@DD: SQUEEEE!!

I_heart_Fifty said...

@DD - awesome eh! It is 2pm Saturday tho, so this is just ML for me, not DML....

Awesome #2 SV - LOL at "Sweet as a summer's slippery knuckle"...

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

WOAH...That one really worked out!!!! LMAO!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I'll totally share my pics, Eclipse Edward is a sloppy drunk...be forewarned!

Dangrdafne said...

@ LwE - DangrDonna asked what the special word was... and it was SQUEEE!!! LOL!!!! I miss you.

I like how we went from cunt cake to cupcakes in the 2 DMLs.

Living with Edward said...

@DD: LOL!! I miss you too! I can't wait to go see Vampires Suck together!! Can DangrDonna come too? We could do dinner or lunch and FOORKS talk and a movie!

Dangrdafne said...

@ LwE - we will have to plan something! I'll send her an email warning her that we are planning ;)

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I have all my Edward pics on my facebook....I suppose I could do a blog post with them lol

Dangrdafne said...

Any one want a third Mad Lib tonite?? SV is willing.

Living with Edward said...

@PC: you have a blog?? Are you on Twitter?

Porphyrias_Curse said...

yeah im belladonnareed on twitter I have a blog but it is merely an infant

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I'm totally up for round 3!

I_heart_Fifty said...

I could go a third one if anyone else is keen

mmMoxie said...

I"ll do another Mad Lib. My son took over the tv and I have to let him becuase it's his stupid birthday.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

Kids are soooo jerks

Living with Edward said...

@PC: found the blog and following. Can't wait to see those pics. You must do a post.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I will lol, it may be multiple posts cause I can't figure out how to get more than one pic per post..I'm a lil technotarded

Living with Edward said...

@PC: Can't wait to see! It took me months to get the hang of Blogger. We didn't get along well when I first started my blog.

Dangrdafne said...

Third DML is coming up. SV is working on it.

Dangrdafne said...

1. Crazy

mmMoxie said...

#1 douchy

mmMoxie said...

#2 douche

Porphyrias_Curse said...

@LWE hopefully I'll have it all owrked out soon, My current class at school is a computer class so hopefully it will help home my twiblogging skillz

Dangrdafne said...

PC - #3 is up for words!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

YAY... um 3)N assclown

mmMoxie said...

#3 butt nugget

mmMoxie said...

Am I playing this one by myself folks? I can go all night.

Dangrdafne said...

4. creamy

Porphyrias_Curse said...

5) glitter lube

Porphyrias_Curse said...

6~adj whorish

Dangrdafne said...

7. taints

mmMoxie said...

7: dumbasses

mmMoxie said...

8: fun bags

Dangrdafne said...

Mox yours could be #8 too LOL!!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

9 tallywhacker

StarlitViolets said...

I used "taints" for #8! LOL!

mmMoxie said...

LOL DD

#10 puce

Porphyrias_Curse said...

mox...you are psychic..I was totally typing puce!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

11 vibrating cock ring

mmMoxie said...

@PC - HA! Puce is my go-to color

Porphyrias_Curse said...

me too, people usually are like wtf is puce lmao
12) nipple rings

StarlitViolets said...

We need #12 now. :)

mmMoxie said...

#12 - penis pumps

StarlitViolets said...

Good one, PC!

mmMoxie said...

13 - hairy

«Oldest ‹Older   1 – 200 of 231   Newer› Newest»