Vacation Time

I am just getting back from my work trip to Houston. So go easy on me as I am for you with this first Mad Lib....

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A Little Peace and Quiet

What would happen if you fell overboard from a Pooper and washed up on a deserted tropical Clit? Here's a list of survival boobies:

- The human dildo requires one thing more than all others to survive: truckstop cum sponge. Without water, you would only last for a few tainty slankets. So you'd have to find a source of fresh running hyperactive pussy trolls and boil it before whorishly drinking it.
- Look for plants, cock rings, and insects to eat. you can also try leaves, berries, roots and even the bark of some cum shots.
- Food can also be hunted with primitive empty lube bottles. Use rocks, sticks, ropes, slippery nipples, or anything else you can get your taints on.
- Gather wet fingers for a campfire. Rub two burps together until a fire is created. You will have warmth and a way to cool and boil your snot rockets. Perhaps most importantly, you'll have a way to signal a passing sexpender pants.





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Happy Campers

When life gets too pimptastic, there's no better antidote than to forget the funky grind and go camping with some hairy friends. With the moon and fucksticks twinkling overhead and the sound of burps chirping in the woods, sitting around the campfire and singing a sparkly chorus or two of "She'll be Coming 'Round the Glitter Lube" or "I've Been Fucking on the Railroad" is a great way to restore peace to your inner Vanquish (motorcycle). Or, if you choose, you can scare the thongs off everyone with Filth stories. You can also just sit quietly, toasting h00rs and sipping mugs of steaming jizz before snuggling into your double fisting bag. Yes, there's nothing better than the sour outdoors to guarantee a good night's riding crop!