Who needs parental supervision?

10 years old is too young to mix drinks so my kid will be playing video games all night
while I play DML!

MAD LIB #1

1. adjective
2. noun
3. noun
4. plural noun
5. adverb
6. number
7. color
8. verb
9. plural noun
10. plural noun
11. noun
12. plural noun
13. noun
14. noun
15. celebrity (female)
16. adjective

His Health Report

He looks fit, but he's a hypochondriac who makes sexy noises just walking to the cock ring.  He drinks too much liquid whip, eats too little pasties, and exercises gassily.  His body fat is ten percent and you're afraid he's going to turn purple one day and keel over.  When you jiggle together, he becomes winded after only a few seconds.  He bumps into ta tas regularly and his muscles are tight as beanies.  He starts sneezing and scratching his muffin whenever he's around dusty pubes.  While he can pick up a nugget with ease, he can't carry you around a small anal glitter lube like you are Jessica Simpson.  He's got a problem!  A glistening checkup is in order.

Mad Lib #2

1. noun
2. noun
3. adverb
4. noun
5. person in room (female)
6. adjective
7. noun
8. noun
9. verb ending in "ing"
10. noun
11. adjective
12. part of the body
13. noun

Long Car Rides

While driving along the interstate Cock Juggling Cum Sponge, my sister, starts poking me with her pussy troll.  When I ask her to stop, she says sloppily, "You can't tell me what to do.  You're not my cum sac."  So I say, "Mom, will you please tell MoXXXie to stop poking me?"  But my mother ignores my pimptastic plea.  "Dad?"  I appeal to the king of the kiitttttyyyyyyy.  He turns around with a big anal defibrillator on his face and warns, "If you kids don't knock it off and stop farting, I will turn this whore monger around and head right back home!"  After a moment of adorkable silence, my sister whispers into my taint, "Look what you did.  Now we're going to have a terrible twinkie!"