Welcome h00rs and twatwaffles, sluts and bitches, dirty dirty girls, fanfic addicts, tweetaholics, and the one normal person who is sure to be here somewhere... Maybe.
In the spirit of FFFOOORRRKKKSSS, I'll be taking you all on a guided tour of jackassery! Tonight we're serving for refreshments: Liquid Courage with a side of Trucker Talk.
I gotta get this for STY!
For your viewing pleasure, I present your choice of hottie pants (please only take one):
See? They're even travel size!Now that we've satisfied your more basic needs, let's see where this tour on the crazybus takes us.
Mad Lib #1
1. Plural Noun
2. Plural Noun
3. Name of a Fellow DMLer
4. Noun
5. Adjective
6. Noun
7. Adjective
8. Adjective
9. Plural Noun
10. Part of the Body
11. Plural Noun
12. Adjective
13. Noun
14. Adjective
15. Part of the Body Plural
16. Plural Noun
17. Noun
18. Another Fellow DMLer
19. Number
20. Part of the Body Plural
21. Plural Noun
A Tour of Hollywood
Good morning, ladies and cock-juggling cum sponges, boys and knob jockeys. My name is Lisa. I am your personal Twilight Tour guide. For the next six hours, we will delight in exploring romantic, slimy Hollywood, the glamour Snooki of the world. Let's start off with a bang and visit Grauman's Cocktastic Theater, Hollywood's most cooterlicious tourist attraction. You'll see etched in cement the foot-Fooooorks and labia majora-prints of the most famous movie Cullens ever to adorn the red screen. Then it's only a hop, skip, and a nipple to Beverly Hills, the playground of the rich and dysfunctional. You will feast your butt cheeks on the million dollar orgasms of movie stars. You'll actually get to visit the home of today's hottest goatse, Mini Edward, who will sign autographs for the low, low sum of 107 dollars each. And here's the big one! For lunch, we'll be going to a studio commisary, where you can rub testicles with today's leading actors and unicorns. All Aboard!
Mad Lib #2
1. Adjective
2. Adjective
3. Verb
4. Noun
5. Noun
6. Plural Noun
7. Adverb
8. Verb
9. Adjective
10. Verb
11. Plural Noun
12. Adjective
13. Verb
14. Adjective
15. Verb
16. Adjective
17. Adjective
18. Plural Noun
How To Study
Combersome teachers always give out phosphorescent assignments. But as everyone knows, you want to oscillate all your classes, so you can go to a troglodite, and someday become president of a big international butternut squash, and have millions of beef curtains in the bank. So you must do your homework and study whorishly. If you just sit around and thrust, you won't get ahead in life. You must learn to pay attention to every sticky thing your teacher says. Do not consummate or whisper to other ball sacks during class. Be sure to have a nice, messy notebook in which you can lick anything the teacher says that seems sploogerrific. Then go home and whip all of those assingtastic notes. When your teacher gives an obsequious quiz, you will know all of the ming readers.
204 comments:
1 – 200 of 204 Newer› Newest»I get Edward!!!
oooo..hiSLV :) am I first? awesome 1)plural noun : cock juggling cum sponges
awww, I want Edward, dont you already have enough of them lol
Ooo - Good one, PC!!!
hehe, thanks...I'm taking the trucker talk part to heart :)
Good girl! ;) I meant it.
@PC: LOL I do have quite a few. True.
Where is everybody else??? :(
k, so um I'll be an answer hog and just go for #2)plural noun - knobjockeys
Okay, going to try not to screw it up this time. So just ONE WORD. Oh, the pressure of picking the right word! I should have drank more first. BRB.
I was wondering that too, probably packing for forks and being all excited n schizz
#3 Lisa
3. Mini Edward
What? He participates.
Hello!! It's Friday night. Do you know where your drink is?
What number are we on?
@LwE - You have enough Edward's. Hand him over.
Hey all..sorry. My Sis (Elusive S) surprised me at work with the "I heart Vampires" PJ top from Target that I put on my blog awhile back. :) And she burned me Florence & The Machine too!!!
lol @LWE...I bet he could help a lot with his massive vocabulary, although he probably doesn't much go for the dirty talkin does he.
#4 - Twilight Tour
Hello ladies! :)
#5 slimy
Sister Sarah rocks! Tell her hello :)
5 adj cocktastic
6. Snooki
@Lisa: No! Mine!! I feel very protective of him.
hello ladies!
7) tardy
Hello, Lady M :)
Anyone seen Mox or Sharon?
8)adj cooterlicious
@PC: Not a fan of the dirty talk no. But he does do the modeling when I host and then gets REALLY embarassed when you guys fill in the words.
Hey Mrs. P!
#8 prickly
I'm giving PC #7 cocktastic. So we're on #8 ADJECTIVE. :)
Mrs. P!!! I just wanted to shout your name for fun.
Yes...knew the cock would go to me some day :)
PC - You need to follow her blog. Here is Exhibit A on why she needs to pass me Eward!!
http://livingwithedward.blogspot.com/2010/09/search-has-been-called-off.html
Lisa is so my pimp. I can't even tell you some of the thing she makes me do for it, too.
F*ck!! Shush about the typo. Pass me Edward!!
@Lisa~I do follow her lol, frikkin hilarious. I actually made my hubby and best friend sit last week and read the whole ming reader post..
I'm sure there will be pictures after FORKS, LwE :)
LMAO! Have you drained the box yet? :) MWAH!!!
#8) adj - fuzzy ( like Rob's face) rawrr
Since no one is doing it..and I'm sober..#9 FOOOOORKS
PC *shhhhhhhh* I don't get a cut if you were already following her.
Eward is so what his nick name would have been in middle school if he got made fun of. The kids would say "Eeewww, it's Eward."
Hi
Nope #8 was cooterlicious. We need #9 Plural Noun.
Hola' Inotu...welcome to DML.
I DID 9
ohh, um then I mean..Yeah I'll totally have to go check that shit out! Thanks for steering me in the direction of Edwardian awesomeness :)
@PC: Awwww.
I haven't drained the box...yet...but I'm working on it.
#9 - Cullens
Thanks Jen!
:)
#10 labia majora
imma be quiet now :)
Hi, inotu!! Welcome to our crazy Friday world. Hope you like it and come back ;)
@PC - Ka-ching!
#11 - Cullens
Edward says Distal Falangi for 10.
NOOOO! Be wordy bitches! This is going slooooooow!
Enjoyed last week. But wow, can't keep up
Where the hell did you go, Mrs. P?
Then he yelled at me for spelling Falangi wrong.
Holy hell...freakin' internet is being all choppy.
What number
12 i think
#12 RED
We need #12 Adjective. :) Welcome inotu!
Mrs. P - I think it's Blogger.
I love F5...makes refreshing and seeing what # we are on so much faster :)
13 noun asshat
#13 then. Hee hee!
@inotu - I wasn't here last time. Glad you came back for more then, and I hope I'm not the one to scare you off for next week, then.
So what does inotu stand for if I can be so bold.
@Mrs. P are you using Mackie or your iPad. (That doesn't sound quite right, does it?)
Fuck me!
13) Nipple
13) Nipple
#14 dysfunctional
#14 glittery
14 adj tawdry
F5? How do you know these things and I don't, Jen??
I just double nippled.
I'm using Mackie...but my connection has been bad since the thunderstorm
@17foreverlisa you coming to Forks? It's my name backwards sort of
F5 rocks cocks!
#15 butt cheeks
double nipples are good, its tripple nipples that get frightening
You don't use F5, Lisa??? No wonder you have trouble keeping up at times!
Lisa- Musing Bella told me awhile back when I couldn't keep up. It's a life saver.
@Mrs. P: We would be concerned for you if your weren't a double nippler.
@Mrs. P: We would be concerned for you if your weren't a double nippler.
16 orgasms
What a coincedence that that was the comment that posted twice. Oh for crying out loud.
17. Goatse. Go on, look it up. Now we've all learned something.
@Mrs. P - Gotcha.
@inotu - So you are Toni? LOL! And, yes, I am most definitely going to Forks. Are you?
#16 Crackberries
16) floggers
@LWE...LMAO!
Yes Forks... Can. Not. Wait.
17 vibrating butt pluggs
i'm not touching #18...LMAO!
I told my husband that we are going to play real life DML in FOORRKKSS. He asked how would that work? So I told him, "Uh, we just all sit in a room and play Mad Libs."
This from the guy who mastered the Rubik's Cube.
18. Mini Edward
LMAO!!! It will be EPIC!!!
19. Number: 107
#19 109
hey is there going to be a dml next week for those of us too socioeconomically downtrodden to make the pilgrimage?
@LwE, that's hilarious. You did leave out one big part of the explanation though, which might account for his confusion: the DRINKING!
20-testicles
@PC: don't think so, we will all be at a bonfire.
I Googled goatse for everyone. You know you wanted to. According to Urban Dictionary:
A disgusting picture of a man stretching his anus extremely wide. One of the oldest jokes on the internet is to link the picture to internet forums and chatrooms, renamed to look like something else like "happybunnies.jpg" . Often causes people to freak out.
Oh. My. Hell. MACIAXKR.
@LWE---he thought too hard! He was thinking we would all have to log in somehow...lmao!
Forks isn't until the 30th, PC. Yes, there will be DML next week. :)
21. Unicorns
21. ass cheeks
@AfterCar: He did ask if there would be drinking. LOL
There will be a DML next Friday. It's the following Friday that there won't be one (first Friday in October).
I found a tiny plastic deer/buck? in the drawer at work...anyone want him for their PE??? lol I'm tweeting a pic.
heh, yeah I totally meant the weekend of the 30th...damn, guess i'll just have to go drown my sorrows @ the karaoke bar
Wait....forks is in two weeks. DOn't go to the airport next week LWE!
I'm picturing us all hanging out with our laptops, or ipads in my case drinking and playing mad libs. Sitting. Next. To. Each. Other.
I'll be back in a jiffy with results from #1 and the second list! :)
@LwE - Real Life DML would be fun. I know that's what Mox and her gang does at The Ranch. Where is Mox?? And Sharon??
@PC: sorry about the timing there didn't think about that. 2 weeks there won't be DML.
@Mrs. P: I'm sure we will all have our computers and could do it anyway. I said to DD a couple weeks ago that we will all be in the same hotel probably still using twitter to comunicate with each other.
Gotta go peeps! xoxo (at work)
@17foreverlisa - I did my homework this time :) One solid hour of trolling urban dictionary, and I was armed and ready. I couldn't seem to figure out this game last time (I drank a little less tonight) so I wanted to be ready! As always, you're welcome.
@Jen: I do! I do! LOL
I'm not bringing anything but my phone. I want to have my head up at all times. I don't trust you people enough...LOLOL!!!
@LwE - When Mama Cougar and I went to Chicago to watch Eclipse at the IMAX, that's what we were doing in our hotel room. (Don't let her tell you otherwise!) I had my BlackBerry and she had her iPad and we were talking smack on twitter. Crazy.
@Mrs. P: I thought I would just camp out there. Do you think that would be a security issue???
@inotu... that would be sad. And also, very similar to Mr. XKR's fantasy football draft. And by similar, I mean that's exactly what they do.
@After Car (is that the shortened version?) - Good call on the homework.
@Lisa: I remember those twitter smacks. That was too funny.
@LWE...that's awesome. I think you should wash your hair in the airport bathroom sink too. LOLOL!
@SV...awesome DML even if I didn't get any words in (i think). DAMN YOU THUNDER!!!
Who else is going to Forks?
FORKS!!!!!!!!! Ok. Son just got home from work. Going to visit a little bit and check back. If not, I'll see some/all of you on twitter.
@17foreverlisa - Any shorter version you want. Didn't so much think through typing out the name repeatedly when I created it. Logging into anything is now super-fun. #sarcasm.
@inotu MEEEE!!
LMFAO!!! Okay - do you ladies have my place on webcam or something cuz this is SCARY good!!!
It's UP!
@afterCar Forks Motel? Which days
lmao @ labia majora prints...so not a good place to get cement
@inotu: I am, with either 1 or more Edwards. But no more than 8. But that may be a bit much. I would be embarassed going through security with eight Edwards in my purse.
...sigh...I don't get to go to Forks this year becasue noone in my family loves me enough to have gotten my tix for my birthday....damn cheap ass cocksuckers....
@LwE 8... Awesome. I'll have one. Hmm, how will I mark him to ensure he doesn't get mixed-up with your 8?
Great Lib! If only I could really get mini Edward to sign autographs for 107 dollar a piece. sigh.
lol, I met with my friend from out of town last week and I pulled my Mini E out of my purse for a sec and she countered with a mini jacob in hers.....mine totally hicked his ass.
#1 cumbersome
so...on to lib # 2?
@inotu: almost eveyone will have one. I do have 2 shirts that I made for a couple of mine so they won't get mixed up.
@inotu just Thursday, then staying on the beach at La Push Fri and Sat, but I will be at most/all Twitarded festivities... I'll be the one with my Mom in tow :D
@PC: That is a great story.
2) adj phosphorescent
Okay ladies! It's time to start list #2. Who's first???
@pc my Dh threatened mini E with his bioshock creepy dude, but I told him ME would kick his ass since Bioshock isn't real it's just a video game
LMFAO.... srsly, choking on wine. 1st Mad Lib = success!
lol inotu, thats awesome
#3 oscillating
LOVE "phosphorescent"!!!
4 pogosticking zombie jesus
5. Butter Nut Squash
@inotu - Tell him you have Mr. Bubbles to protect you, like the Little Sisters do!!! LMAO! Mr. SV plays Bioshock too!
6. beef curtains
6 nipple clamps
7 whorishly
@PC - Can you give me a new #4 Noun???
sure 4 noun ...troglodite
Thanks, bb! MWAH! xoxoxo
LOL, troglodite.
Now we need #8 Verb.
8 v thrust.....
Just googled "troglodite" and there were 6 completely different definitions! LOL! Care to define???
9 sticky
I feel like Im being a word whore....I'm not answering for a while..
10 consummate
like a caveman, prehistoric and what not
The #13 Verb will be: lick, from VitaminR70 via Twitter.
11 ball sacks
11. Hottie Pantses
12 messy
14 adj sploogerriffic
LOL! Nice one PC!
thx...pc's tip for the day..any word can become an adj by assing "tastic" "riffic" or "licious" to the end :)
15. Verb????
Whip 15?
oops, i meant adding not assing..hehe
I thought I noticed a pattern... ;)
16. Assintastic
Thanks inotu!
...16 adj asstastic
oops meant assingtastic
lol...great minds...
Assintastic?
3 more words girls! We can do it!!!
ObsequIous 17
im waiting for 18 lol
Isn't it just 2?
18 ~ ming readers
LOLOLOLOLOL!!!!!
obsequious...great word :)
Ming readers and assintastic??? Are these typos?
lol..no ming readers is an homage to lwe and mini e
Mine is. I meant Assingtastic.
Okay. :) What about "assintastic?"
SV??? Have you not been keeping up with my blog, young lady???? LOL
K. Thanks, bb!
I'll be done soon! :)
like fantastic at assing....being a supreme ass
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