Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, October 15, 2010

Cheers to Mad Libs

My turn!  I'm feeling a tad bit under the weather so I'm not drinking tonight so everyone else needs to drink for me.  I know you can do it (I'm lookin at you - Jen and Lisa)

TwiredJen at six months old.

Mad Lib #1

  1. adjective
  2. noun
  3. plural noun
  4. noun
  5. adjective
  6. verb (past tense)
  7. plural noun
  8. noun
  9. noun
  10. noun
  11. noun
  12. adjective
  13. plural noun
Things Mom Always Said

These are some of the sexually frustrated phrases you might, unfortunately, remember hearing from your mother's Forks;

  • "Well, if the other taints jumped off the Brooklyn Vibrator, would you do it, too?"
  • "Always wear furry underwear in case you're in an accident."
  • "I never klobbered when I was your age."
  • "Turn on the penises when you read - you'll go blind."
  • "Don't sit so close to the cunt - you'll go blind."
  • "Don't use your bald headed mouse to wipe your face.  Always have a clean cum dumpster with you."
  • "Put on a warm asshole - you'll catch cold."
I guess when I'm older, I'll impart the same spry wisdom to my pumpkins.

Mad Lib #2
  1. adjective
  2. plural noun
  3. adjective
  4. noun
  5. Nationality
  6. verb (past tense)
  7. plural noun
  8. adjective
  9. adjective
  10. adjective
  11. adjective
  12. part of the body
  13. noun
  14. adjective
Case History:
Anger Management

Alexander the Great was a fuckable candidate for anger management, because he employed pancakes rather than diplomacy to solve problems.  Here are a few horny examples:
  1. A cheaterface once refused to bow to Alexander in the Brazilian fashion, so Alexander had him killed.
  2. Some governors stroked during Alexander's absence, so he had them killed.
  3. After exploring foreign hairy balls and meeting all kinds of new and jizz covered people, he......well, you know!
One can't help but wonder what scary as hell Alexander was so angry about - other than the fact that his parents were to sccchhhhweaty.  But what I would like to know is:  Once it became clear that young Alex had a flaccid chip on his pinky toe the size of a placemat, whose slippery idea was it to give him his own army?

139 comments:

StarlitViolets said...

1. Adjective - Sexually frustrated.

Cullenary Curser said...

Foorrksss!`

mmMoxie said...

LOL. Nice way to start it off SV

mmMoxie said...

What up CC?

Cullenary Curser said...

sorry that was #2 - Fooooorkkks!

Cullenary Curser said...

Not much mox - currently in love with the hunger games.

mmMoxie said...

I'm gonna have to check those books out

Dangrdafne said...

3. taints

Living with Edward said...

Why am I not surprised by that photo???

mmMoxie said...

Thanks for working in "taints" DD

Cullenary Curser said...

@ Mox - you are. So. Fucking. Good.

4. Vibrator

inotu said...

Hi!!

StarlitViolets said...

I spy 13!!! I'm so f'n glad I get to play tonight! And it's like old times with you hosting, Mox!

FUCK ME!!! Why does RL have to start at the EXACT same time as DML?!

mmMoxie said...

hi inotu :)

@SV - yeah, just like the old days.......tonight is slow and I'm grumpy LOL

mmMoxie said...

we're on #5

Dangrdafne said...

Hi inotu!!! how are you??

StarlitViolets said...

HA! You remind people too! LOL! I thought it was just me. I'm like a fucking lion tamer sometimes trying to keep people on track. And the only reason I didn't answer #5 is cuz I already did an adjective. :P

mmMoxie said...

good Lawd SV...answer as many as you want or we're gonna be here all night. *taps toe*

Maybe no one is drunk tonight.

Dangrdafne said...

#5 Furry

inotu said...

@DD, good you?

Living with Edward said...

6 Klobbered

mmMoxie said...

thanks DD

we're on #6 now

Twired Jen said...

OMFGLMAO! *waves* hellloooo laaaadies.

mmMoxie said...

I mean 7.....*wink* at LWE

Twired Jen said...

7. Fooooooooooorks

Cullenary Curser said...

7 - penises

mmMoxie said...

bout time Jen. LOL

Cullenary Curser said...

8 cunt

Cullenary Curser said...

8 cunt

mmMoxie said...

sorry Jen. we already had Fooooorks so I'm gonna take penises for #7

StarlitViolets said...

YAY JEN!!!! I just got a text from TLR and she'll be here soon too!

7. rectal thermometers

Cullenary Curser said...

Apparently cunt x2? LOL

mmMoxie said...

nice one CC

Living with Edward said...

9 bald headed mouse

StarlitViolets said...

9. Fuckwad

mmMoxie said...

we're at #9

Cullenary Curser said...

*takes a little bow*

mmMoxie said...

I mean #10

Dangrdafne said...

all is ok in my world inotu :)

StarlitViolets said...

10. Cum dumpster

Twired Jen said...

10. Eric Northman ;)

StarlitViolets said...

YES!!!! I finally managed to NOT enter my answer so frickin sloooowly - hey - good adjective!

I'm lookin at you DD! ;)

Dangrdafne said...

No mice!!! 7am Sunday my little Otis had too much fun with his new squeak toy... a real live mouse in our bedroom!! Hubby caught it and released it outside...I am sure so it could come right back in. Arg

mmMoxie said...

Eric Northman is hot from the neck down.

Twired Jen said...

I had 2 "chapagne, citrus vokda, orange juice" thingys at my going away happy hour, as well as a beer and now some cheap champagne. This is all since 3pm, so believe it or not, I'M NOT DRUNK.

StarlitViolets said...

@Mox - Agreed. Though I'm only on episode 11 of season 1.

mmMoxie said...

That is horrifying DD

StarlitViolets said...

@Jen - WHY NOT???!!! Get working on that chicky! LOL! I can't be the only drunk one here.

mmMoxie said...

@SV - I love the character of Jason. He makes the show for me.

mmMoxie said...

we're on #11

Twired Jen said...

Mox & SLV I guarantee he will GET HOT soon. I never thought he was...EVER, until season 2.

Twired Jen said...

I lost my DML page...blogger comment window is still up...FML...

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - I've seen all of the seasons. still not hot. SOrry.

mmMoxie said...

anyone? #11? Anyone?

StarlitViolets said...

Jen - I'm holding you to that! I just finished book one today. :) Book Eric AND Book Bill are WAY hotter than their counterparts in TrueBlood.

Living with Edward said...

@DD: My cat used to be so proud when he would catch a mouse. One time there was one in our toaster and my cat was just sitting above it waiting. Eventually the mouse made a jump for it and jumped right into the cat's mouth. The cat was startled. Wasn't expecting that. It was pretty funny.

inotu said...

#11 asshole

StarlitViolets said...

12. spry

mmMoxie said...

who you callin an asshole inotu? LOL

Living with Edward said...

13. pumpkin condoms

Twired Jen said...

12. intricately (that's an adjective right?!?)

mmMoxie said...

ok. I need to know now...do we want to do ML #2?

inotu said...

Uh, me... :)

Twired Jen said...

ok my lap top is being a douche...

StarlitViolets said...

YES!!!

Dangrdafne said...

LwE: condoms for the pumpkins?? Or are the condoms flavored with pumpkin???

StarlitViolets said...

13. Goatee rides

Dangrdafne said...

Yes

mmMoxie said...

ok SV...It may just be you playing #2 LOL

BRB

StarlitViolets said...

Aww - late on the last one even! It's like when I answered everyone else did, but right after I'd go - NOBODY was paying attention. LMAO!!!

inotu said...

**raisin hand** i'm playing

Dangrdafne said...

I said yes to a second one also Mox :)

Living with Edward said...

@DD: I got the word from a halloween decoration on this one house I see on my way home from work. I will post it on my musings blog soon. It is this giant pumpkin bag thing that they put over this tall lantern thing and it looks like a giant pumpkin condom with a green tip. It is the most fallic holiday decoration I have ever seen.

inotu said...

So DD, hung with Team_sixpack the other night. wants to know when we can come visit.

Dangrdafne said...

@LwE I am both laughing and feeling horrified at the same time for this picture.

inotu said...

@LWE I wanna see the pumpkin condom

Dangrdafne said...

@ inotu - we should really set that up!!! That would be way cool. Maybe we should do a holiday gathering or something. Living with Edward, you, Team 6 pack and me and whoever else we find in the area!! Or the Eclipse DVD release!!

TigerlilyRose said...

I am here, where are we?

inotu said...

@DD we are totally in. I could probably convice ForksPimp too.

StarlitViolets said...

@Mox - MusingBella and I were getting all excited about your visit next year. She's gonna take us to all the Portland movie sites and stuff.

StarlitViolets said...

@TLR - Just starting #2.

Living with Edward said...

Ok, I will post the pic here tonight. www.lwesrandommusings.blogspot.com

Wait. Team six pack and inotu are in our area??

mmMoxie said...

@SV I can't wait!!!!! PacNW here I come!

mmMoxie said...

Hi TLR :)

we're on #1 of ML #2

StarlitViolets said...

1. ADJ - fuckable

TigerlilyRose said...

#1 adjective swanky

inotu said...

@LWE we are both in Baltimore but would come north if invited...hint..hint

TigerlilyRose said...

#2 plural noun pancakes

Dangrdafne said...

"Turn on the penises when you read - you'll go blind."
"Don't sit so close to the cunt - you'll go blind."
LOL!!!!

mmMoxie said...

LOL pancakes

inotu said...

#2 balls

mmMoxie said...

Kinda makes sense, doesn't it DD?

Dangrdafne said...

@ LwE I am sensing an invite being sent in the near future :)

mmMoxie said...

we're on #3 (adjective)

StarlitViolets said...

LOL! List one was pretty funny!

inotu said...

#3 horny

Living with Edward said...

@DD and inotu: yes!! That would be amazeballs!!

mmMoxie said...

LOL....#2 is gonna be bizarre

Dangrdafne said...

We should find something in between the 2 areas. Where is Forkspimp from?

inotu said...

@DD and LWE we will say yes!

StarlitViolets said...

4. Noun - cheaterface!

inotu said...

Further south, almost DC. I cant remember the last time i was in philly

Twired Jen said...

#4. clitoral-hood

inotu said...

#5 Brasilian

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - i think your lap top is being super slow tonight.

Twired Jen said...

SLV- uh oh..."sexually frustrated" "cheater face" ????

mmMoxie said...

we're on #6

Twired Jen said...

#6. stroked

mmMoxie said...

LMAO this one is already starting to crack me up.

inotu said...

#7 HAIRY BALLS

StarlitViolets said...

8. jizz-covered

inotu said...

didn't mean to scream

mmMoxie said...

LOL it's ok inotu. I took your CAPS as enthusiasm

mmMoxie said...

we're on #9

inotu said...

@mox thanx could be the wine

Living with Edward said...

9 scary as hell

Twired Jen said...

#9. sccchhhhhweaty (as in schweaty balls)

StarlitViolets said...

@Jen - Nah - no worries, bb. Promise. LOL!

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - will you make Jen's #10.

StarlitViolets said...

11. Adjective - flacid

mmMoxie said...

sure. #10 is sccccchhhhhweaty

Dangrdafne said...

12. pinky toe

TigerlilyRose said...

#12 part of body ball sac

Twired Jen said...

12. armpit

TigerlilyRose said...

#13 placemat

StarlitViolets said...

@TLR - Are you just looking around the house??? LOL!

mmMoxie said...

TLR... you're totally random tonight LOL

Twired Jen said...

@DD speaking of pinky toes...I ran mine into our wicker laundry basket this morning and took of part of my toe nail and it swelled up today :( I know it's not broken because I can bend it..but OUCH!

mmMoxie said...

we need #14 and we're done

Dangrdafne said...

@TwiredJen - Ouch and ewwww

Twired Jen said...

#13 wine glass

Twired Jen said...

#14 slippery

mmMoxie said...

K. I'll post the finished product in two and two

Dangrdafne said...

Thanks for hosting Mox! You're the best! Mwah

TigerlilyRose said...

I like to keep y'all guessin'! went with the first words that came to mind tonight...don't ask me where pancakes and placemat came from...I have no idea..>LOL

Dangrdafne said...

Someone is ready for breakfast at the dining room table :)

Twired Jen said...

thanks Mox, sorry my puter was a douche!

mmMoxie said...

LOL # 2 is so dumb it is cracking me up

Dangrdafne said...

I like #2. Pancakes is my favorite word used - so simple and so hilarious! LOL!!