Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, October 8, 2010

Fly Away With Me


Huh. Totally missed this option when I was booking my flight to FORKS!

Welcome back to DML, kidz! Hard to believe that this time last week, a lot of us were in FORKS. Some of us were getting our drink on *coughmrspandtwiredjencough* and some of us were in our pjs playing DML in my hotel room. What a difference a week makes.

Here we go with DML #1!

1. Adjective
2. Celebrity
3. Noun
4. Adjective
5. Verb ending in "ing"
6. Place
7. Number
8. Number
9. Type of liquid
10. Adjective
11. Noun
12. Verb
13. Adjective
14. Noun
15. Adjective
16. Verb
17. Adjective
18. Adjective

Ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard gigantic Airline’s Flight 750. This is your captain and pilot, Alvin and the Chipmunk. The plane you are traveling on is the latest Strato-microphone, with four lush engines. At present, we are masturdating directly over the tree top. Our speed is 17 miles per hour, and we are flying at an altitude of 24 feet. If you care for a cup of vodka or a slippery sandwich, please push the Gus located over your seat, and our flight attendant will be glad to SPLODE on you. We have a shaved tailwind and will soon be flying through a heavy FFFOOORRRKKKSSS storm. So I’ll have to ask you all to fasten your gassy belts and dry hump your trays to the combustible position. In the meantime, I hope you have salty trip.


DML#2: CrackBerry


As many of you know, I lost my damn BlackBerry in the great state of Washington. I may or may not have misplaced it several times before finally losing it altogether. FME!

Figures he'd call after I lose my cell.

(I spy 17!)

1. Noun
2. Body part
3. Plural noun
4. Noun
5. Plural noun
6. Plural noun
7. Plural noun
8. Plural noun
9. Verb ending in “ing”
10. Adverb
11. Body part
12. Verb
13. Adjective
14. Noun
15. Plural Noun
16. Noun
17. Noun

No matter where you are these days, you’re bound to run into someone with a cellular cum bubble attached to his/her shoulder. Even young burps have douche nozzle phones. Unfortunately, they seem to bring out the worst ball sacks in people. Most cell-phone users talk with raised pubes in restaurants, museums, taints, and even in women’s and men’s killer tomatoes. Cell-phone users think nothing of talking at the same time they are butt munching in their cars. This can be cockily dangerous, especially when they take their tip off the road as they grind. Pedestrian phoners are also a sallow hazard. Preoccupied with their conversations, they can easily ignore a red shitbrick and step in front of oncoming orgasms, causing all kinds of pimp accidents and nipple pile-ups.

Thanks for playing everyone! See you taints next week. LOL!

176 comments:

TongueTwied said...

*waves*

Twired Jen said...

1. Gigantic

Living with Edward said...

TT!! Hi!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Laaaaadies.

Twired Jen said...

kiTT!!!! Hey lady! Welcome :) Lisa is going to shit.

17foreverlisa said...

Hi, Jen! I don't think there are many around tonight. SV is sick. I haven't heard from Mox. Maybe we'll just do one. Fine by me. Baseball playoffs are on :)

Twired Jen said...

FML did I jump the gun by not saying hi and just posting #1? Sowwwwy.

Living with Edward said...

2 Alvin the chipmunk

Twired Jen said...

Remember people F5 makes refreshing a whole lot quicker.

Dangrdafne said...

OH MY GOODNESS!!! Tongue Twied is here!!!!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Nice LWE!

3) microphone

17foreverlisa said...

What the hell!!!! I thought the wave was from Twired Jen. KITT!!!! YOU ARE HERE! Big smile.

Twired Jen said...

3. Small Town Ed (that's my pocket E from Lisa)

17foreverlisa said...

Hello LwE, DD, and Mrs. P, too. Quiet night tonight.

17foreverlisa said...

Hello LwE, DD, and Mrs. P, too. Quiet night tonight.

Twired Jen said...

omg I love you ladies tons...tons and tons...I feel like crying again, might be the wine.

Living with Edward said...

I'm in a chipmunk mood this week. I think they may be my favorite animal and not just because they are called mmbuttsmmbutts in quileute.

17foreverlisa said...

You named him Small Town Ed? I may have to take him back. LMAO!

Twired Jen said...

4. Lush

My After Car Is An XKR said...

5 masturdating [with a d]

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

4) Fuzzy

Dangrdafne said...

Go Phillies!!!

Twired Jen said...

Lisa- I did! STE. He is from your small town, and he's now currently in crazy CALIFORNIA! :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

6) tree top

Twired Jen said...

Hey MyAfterCar!!!

Living with Edward said...

7. 17

TongueTwied said...

hey chickadees!!!

Put me down for drink of choice: NyQuil. The really NASTY tasting stuff.

In about 5 minutes I'm going to be down for the count.

I was just trying to catch up on blog posts and wait out my daughter going to sleep.

I had no idea Escala was a real place. LOL

Have fun!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@LwE, those Quileutes did have a way with words.

Twired Jen said...

7. 17 (might as well Lisa, cause we know you'll put that anyways) ;)

Dangrdafne said...

Hello My After Car!!!! WOO HOO!!

17foreverlisa said...

No. Bad Phillies. They did not deserve those runs last inning. Ugh!

Hey, MyAfterCar! I have been wearing your FORKS wristband every day since you gave it to me :) Did your mom *nods to LwE and kiTT* have a good time?

Dangrdafne said...

8. 24

Living with Edward said...

Haha "your mom"

mmMoxie said...

Party's here!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@TwiredJen hellooooo! Sitting here with hubs and inlaws, attempting to play DML on my phone without them noticing.

Dangrdafne said...

Do you cheer for Cincinatti?

Living with Edward said...

@my after car: Yes, thank you for the wrist bands. That was so cool of you.

Twired Jen said...

Wait MyAfterCar gave us the Twitarded black wristbands??? Geez was I drunk EVERY night?!? (Mrs P???)

17foreverlisa said...

I spy 17! Thanks, girls :)

Night, kiTT. I know you aren't feeling well. It's nice you stopped by to say hello, though.

mmMoxie said...

#9 vodka

Twired Jen said...

Mooooooooooooxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx!

Dangrdafne said...

MOX!!!! I have missed you. Are you better? How is the knee?

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Dangrdafne Hi friend! How are you?

Twired Jen said...

9. vodka

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

10) slippery

mmMoxie said...

knee is much better.....I'm back to making sweet exercises with my elliptical

Living with Edward said...

@Jen: not the black ones the gray ones that said FOOOOOOOORRRRKKKSS

17foreverlisa said...

Missed you Mox!!! Glad you're knee is better.

mmMoxie said...

You hos better get drunk and dish some dirt about the Forks trip tonight! I want juicy stories.

Twired Jen said...

11. GUS

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

11) knee cap

Living with Edward said...

12. Splode!!

Twired Jen said...

@Mox - Honestly,it was pretty drama free if you ask me.

mmMoxie said...

#13 shaved

Twired Jen said...

PMSL Mrs. P KNEECAP!

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - not even an embarrassing moment?

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - not even an embarrassing moment?

Dangrdafne said...

@MyAfterCar - all is well. It is friday. It is DML time. I am hanging with my friends. I can sleep in tomorrow!!!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

ello ello, sorry I'm late
13) adj - craptacular

17foreverlisa said...

What's with all the vodka? LOL! We are on #10.

Jen, MyAfterCar gave us the grey wristbands. Twitarded gave us the black ones.

Twired Jen said...

14. FOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOORKS

17foreverlisa said...

Oops! Clearly my refresh wasn't working. Need to catch up.

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@17foreverlisa So glad you like it! Mom had a great time - she took the whole thing in stride, and I think she outdrank me too.

@LivingWEdward you're welcome! It was fun to do them (TWSS).

mmMoxie said...

I thought we were on #14

Twired Jen said...

@Mox- ladies burped and tooted, but that was the norm ;)

mmMoxie said...

you can never have too much vodka. Tonight I'm drinking grape vodka and 7up

Twired Jen said...

@MyAfterCar - I wish I would have taken my Mom..she's not super into Twi, but would have had fun..and we are ridiculously close. She can out drink me as well ;)

mmMoxie said...

#15 gassy

Porphyrias_Curse said...

14 n) fuckstick

Twired Jen said...

@Mox- that sounds delish! First time drinkin' since the Ranch?!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Dangrdafne Sounds like a wonderful evening :) Would only be better if we were still in FOOOORKS!

Dangrdafne said...

@MyAfterCar - I loved your Mom. She was wonderful and I am so glad she fit right in and had a good time. And thank you for the bracelets. I just got all mine in my box I had to send home - so now I can wear it all weekend :)

Twired Jen said...

16. dry hump

Living with Edward said...

I think we should all move to FOOORRKKS!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Mox...that sounds delish.

Twired Jen said...

It's so weird that it's dark now at 6:45pm...Fall is here.

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - yup. first time, and I'm loving it!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Jen, there's always next year! I hope...

Twired Jen said...

LWE- I second that! "We should all move to Forks!"

17foreverlisa said...

MyAfterCar - I think it's awesome your mom came along.

DD - I really don't care who wins. I don't think anyone will beat the Phillies. I just wanted it to be a good game, and there were so many errors.

mmMoxie said...

@MrsP- it is! It just might replace the cherry and coke

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

We could get jobs in that little diner across the street from the motel. That one kid was the cashier, the busboy, the waiter, and the seater.

17foreverlisa said...

And he was a cutie :)

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Dangrdafne thanks! It's a bit embarrassing when everyone's talking about Rob's package, but she had a great time. And... you had to ship a box home? I should have gone shopping with you!!

mmMoxie said...

I'd move to Forks in a heartbeat. I hate Phoenix

Twired Jen said...

@Mrs P- LMAO!!! Dude, I have dibs on working at the lounge..behind the bar...at least that way I can drink during my shift...

17foreverlisa said...

We need 17 and 18 and we can wrap this one up :)

Porphyrias_Curse said...

17)combustible

Twired Jen said...

ok eff it, I'm going..17. shiny

17foreverlisa said...

Thanks, PC :)

Twired Jen said...

OK....back to twitter. Blogger is buggin'!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

18 salty

Porphyrias_Curse said...

no prob :)

Dangrdafne said...

@ MyAfterCar - actually I had to send food for the trip (gluten free gal here) and I didn't eat it all so I just put all my souveniers in the box too :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

That's a wrap!!!!

17foreverlisa said...

So do we want to skip DML #2 for tonight? Show of hands?

mmMoxie said...

I'm easy. I can play another or chat on Twitter.

Yes. I am easy like "that" too.

17foreverlisa said...

Ok. I just posted the results of #1. I'll post #2 in a second and see how it goes.

mmMoxie said...

24 feet above the ground doesn't sound very safe. Neither does traveling at 17 miles per hour.

Dangrdafne said...

...and our flight attendant will be glad to SPLODE on you.

LOVE IT!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

I'm not sure I like the idea of stewardesses sploding all over me lmao

mmMoxie said...

#1 - cum puddle

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

2) Shoulder

Porphyrias_Curse said...

2) taint

Living with Edward said...

2 Pancreas

TigerlilyRose said...

#2 belly button

17foreverlisa said...

Very nice, Mox ;)

Living with Edward said...

LOL

mmMoxie said...

#3 burps

TigerlilyRose said...

#3 pl n. sacs

Porphyrias_Curse said...

4) douche nozzle

17foreverlisa said...

LwE, how are you feeling? No SPLODing I hope.

mmMoxie said...

#4 anal gland

17foreverlisa said...

Hey, Lacey! You made it.

Twired Jen said...

5. ball sacks

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Pancreas??? LMAO!

Twired Jen said...

Mox you must have dogs "anal gland" lmao...

mmMoxie said...

#5 taints

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

6) pubes

Living with Edward said...

6. Killer Tomatoes

mmMoxie said...

son of a!

mmMoxie said...

7 taints

Porphyrias_Curse said...

7) lubricants

TigerlilyRose said...

#6 pl noun netherlips

Living with Edward said...

8 Killer Tomatoes

mmMoxie said...

@Jen - as a matter of fact, my dog does have chronic anal gland issues.

Porphyrias_Curse said...

lol 8) meat curtains

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Oh crapass...be right back

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Dangrdafne That makes sense. Can't have too many souvenirs!

mmMoxie said...

#9 butt munching

My After Car Is An XKR said...

9. Effing

Porphyrias_Curse said...

10) cockily

TigerlilyRose said...

shit! I give up! connection is too fucking slow!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

11. tip (finger or otherwise, i'll leave that to your imagination!)

Living with Edward said...

@Lisa: Nope, no Sploding. LOL I think I am just on a very slow annoying recovery. Very rare for me. I don't usually get sick and if I do, I get over it real fast. So I'm kinda pissed about this.

Twired Jen said...

@Mox- so does my parents dog and Sarah's dog..

17foreverlisa said...

Mox, you FINALLY got taints in there. LMAO!

mmMoxie said...

#12 grind

TigerlilyRose said...

HI everyone!!! I MISSED YOU!

Twired Jen said...

11. clitoral hood

17foreverlisa said...

LwE - Sorry to hear that :(

mmMoxie said...

@Lisa - Hooray for taints!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

12 writhe

mmMoxie said...

Hi TLR!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Twired Jen, way to whip out the big guns with #11, no easing in there. Pun intended.

17foreverlisa said...

We're on #13, kidz.

Did you have fun today with TW, Lacey?

Twired Jen said...

Lisa what did you used to call your pocket e..the one you donated to cali?

17foreverlisa said...

Jen - Pocket Edward. LOLOLOL!

Twired Jen said...

13. sallow

My After Car Is An XKR said...

14 shitbrick

Porphyrias_Curse said...

15 orgasms

mmMoxie said...

#15 pimps

mmMoxie said...

#16 pimp

My After Car Is An XKR said...

I'm more swear-y than usual online tonight. Prob. because I've had to rein myself in all day in front of hubs' parents. #$(@$#!@($*@(#$!^_#$%) There, feel better.

Twired Jen said...

Lisa- you'll know why I asked soon enough!

mmMoxie said...

@MACIAXKR (is that how you abbreviate your name? Sheesh!) "Effing" isn't really a swear.

Twired Jen said...

Hey laaadies, it's time for me to take bath (SHIT, I AM MEETING PFACH FOR REALZ TOMORROW) and I haven't eaten dinner yet. Be back in 30 or so...for whomever is still up on twitter. xoxo

17foreverlisa said...

So does Pocket Edward answer to his new name of Small Town Ed? LOL!

Swear away, Mox :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

17) Nipple!

mmMoxie said...

Later Jen

17foreverlisa said...

Have fun tomorrow with Sue, Jen! So jealous.

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@mmMoxie Yeah, did not think through abbreviation. Someone used MAC and that seems to work. And, you guys didn't get to hear me say "fuck" questionably loud in front of inlaws when phone would. not. refresh. and then run to computer to finish playing DML. Good thing MIL has had wine and is half asleep.

17foreverlisa said...

Mrs. P slips a nipple in to close out DML #2 ;) I'll post the results in a few seconds. I'm on a roll tonight.

My After Car Is An XKR said...

@Jen - lick him for me!

mmMoxie said...

@MAC (much better) I'm glad you're not using that sort of language in front of us! "Fuck" should be reserved for the inlaws only.

TigerlilyRose said...

@ Lisa--yes we have a lovely day!

Dangrdafne said...

@ Jen don't forget my cell # tomorrow ;)

Twired Jen said...

DD- I have it in my email but haven't put in phone yet...text it to me? 619-851-0448 If not, no biggie, I'll pull it out of my email.
PS Lisa- you'll see....

17foreverlisa said...

That's great, Lacey!

DD, where the hell did you go?

Ok, kidz. Results are posted. That concludes this evening's DML. LOL!! I have a playoff game to watch. MWAH!

Porphyrias_Curse said...

.look out for those nipple pile ups... Thanx for hosting Lisa, imma go look at pics of the preh-tay now...

Dangrdafne said...

"they can easily ignore a red shitbrick and step in front of oncoming orgasms, causing all kinds of pimp accidents and nipple pile-ups." LMAO!!

mmMoxie said...

Thanks Lisa! Enjoy your baseball. I hope your favorite team scores lots of touchdowns.

My After Car Is An XKR said...

HAHA! This is EXACTLY what I needed after playing host all day. Thank you!

My After Car Is An XKR said...

Stepping front of oncoming orgasms would be a SERIOUS health hazard in Twitardia.

17foreverlisa said...

@PC - Enjoy! Nothing better than looking at Robp0rn.

@Mox - Ha ha!

@Sharon - I'm glad your Phillies won, just for you :)

SV will never believe I did tonight's DML in record time. Woot woot!

NIGHT!

Dangrdafne said...

@ Lisa - Sorry Got caught up in a chore :(