Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, November 19, 2010

Jive Turkeys

Since there is no DML next week because we'll still be hungover from the tryptophan and massive amounts of alcohol we ingest to numb the pain of excessive extended family interaction, consider this the Thanksgiving edition.

Let us bow our heads and give thanks...

I'm thankful for all of YOU.  If not for you guys, especially Lisa, I would have shelved this ridiculous ass game ages ago.

Cheers!

Gobble Gobble

Mad Lib #1

  1. noun
  2. adjective
  3. noun
  4. noun
  5. noun
  6. noun
  7. plural noun
  8. number
  9. adjective
  10. noun
  11. noun
  12. number
  13. plural noun
  14. adjective
Thanksgiving Day Survival

Thanksgiving with your Rob's butt crack can be a lubricated experience, but you've got to come prepared.  Don't just show up at your parents' baster expecting everything to be peaches 'n' horn of plenty.  Make a plan.  To participate, first go to the kitchen and help your mother cook the gigantic magic wand she bought.  Then greet each individual shoe buckle at the door, take their vibrators, and seat them at least 69 feet away from each other.  Start the conversation by asking Dad about his hard old days as the taint of his high-school fifty team.  (Anything to make him forget that you still owe 3 dollars for your tuition.)  It will also keep your grandparents from talking, thus sparing you the lecture on the "outrageous price of dead mothufucken hookers these days."  Finally - and please don't overlook this very dingle berryish step - bring proof that you looked for a job in the past week!

Mad Lib #2
  1. adjective
  2. noun
  3. plural noun
  4. number
  5. plural noun
  6. person in room
  7. noun
  8. occupation
  9. noun
  10. article of clothing
  11. adjective
  12. noun
  13. animal
  14. small city
  15. noun
  16. vehicle
  17. plural noun
The Scavenger Hunt

Your friends are fucking hilarious, so you've decided to have a scavenger hunt rather than go to the usual nut sack for Friday-night broken condoms.  You've drawn up a list of things to gather and plan on giving 117 herpes outbreaks to the victor.  Buttcrack Santa is the first to return and he has found everything, including:
  • A digital photo of a butt plug
  • A business card from Kellan's fluffer
  • A phone number written on a sperm
  • A diaper from some fucked up restaurant
  • A not quite empty sperm donor cup from a strip club
  • A gerbil from Forks
  • A ticket stub from a Your Mom concert
  • A toy bicycle built for two
  • A box of used cum covered nunchucks

271 comments:

«Oldest   ‹Older   201 – 271 of 271
Dangrdafne said...

You are just going to throw china dishes at Anonymous - I get it ;)

Anonymous said...

16) bicycle built for two

StarlitViolets said...

16. Banana Boat

Edward said...

Hi Lisa. You guys are in rare form tonight. I am so glad I am not involved in this WTFDML.

TheRugbymom said...

16 Volvo

Jaymes805 said...

16. shaggin wagon

17foreverlisa said...

FFFFFOOOOORRRRRKKKKKSSSSS!!!!!

SV, did you take too much medication? Just sayin'. XO

PS: It's really hard typing everyone's blogger names instead of their real names!

mmMoxie said...

need #16 and #17

StarlitViolets said...

17. cum-covered nunchucks

Mandy's Mind said...

16 - assston martin?

17foreverlisa said...

Oh, Edward, is your human ok? I love her long time.

Mandy's Mind said...

what she said

17foreverlisa said...

#17 FOR THE MTFW. That is all ;)

StarlitViolets said...

I think Edward tried to cheat under the guise of "Anonymous"...

mmMoxie said...

Ok. BRB.

This is gonna be good.

17foreverlisa said...

SV, what city do you live in?

Dangrdafne said...

There are ton of 16's Mox

Edward said...

@Lisa: My human seems to be having some type of hysteric convulsions. What did you all do to her?

Ps. Both she and I love you long time too.

Dangrdafne said...

And SV did a #17.

StarlitViolets said...

Vancouver, WA

17foreverlisa said...

I thought #17 was Carlisle's pants? LOL!

Edward said...

@SV: I DID NOT!!!!

Dangrdafne said...

My tummy hurts....


FROM LAUGHING!!

This was epic and awesome!!

Mandy's Mind said...

@sv not as cool as Vancouver BC ;)

StarlitViolets said...

How will you possible convince me Edward????

Anonymous said...

This was hilarious.

StarlitViolets said...

Mandy! STFU! It's pretty fucking obvious that BC is cooler!!! Don't rub it in snatchy. LOL!

Dangrdafne said...

@ SV Because Edward is in my house and he did NOT sign in as anyone but himself.

Mandy's Mind said...

lol @sv

17foreverlisa said...

It's okay, Edward. You can tell them the truth. It was Bella, wasn't it?

Edward said...

@SV: I would never have said Carlisle's pants. I have absolutely no interest in Carlisle's pants. I would have said something more like crazy ass DML-ers that make my human go insane.

Dangrdafne said...

Oooo maybe it was Victoria - she is still missing isn't she???

StarlitViolets said...

Ooo - good call DD, she could be doing it to try and make Edward look bad! LOL!

mmMoxie said...

That is a Scavenger Hunt I DO NOT want to win.

Edward said...

@Lisa: I would never let Bella near the computer. Not since she referred to it as the coffee table slash cook book.

mmMoxie said...

Edward.....did you ding-dong-ditch me?

Mandy's Mind said...

BAHAHAHAH @DML Scavenger Hunt ha ha ha

Mandy's Mind said...

Buttcrack Santa is the ONLY one who could in such a scavenger hunt... lmao

17foreverlisa said...

There are so many possibilities at your house, Edward. It was probably one of the dogs. You can't trust them, you know. Derek may look cute, but... And Jacob needs to be kicked to the curb. Tell Jasper he can come over here and stay, though ;)

Black Box said...

LOLOLOLOL!!!! Funny!!!

Anonymous said...

I prefer a polaroid of a butt plug to a digital photo, to be honest. LMAO!!!!!

StarlitViolets said...

ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!!!

Can't breath.

BEST. EVER.

Dangrdafne said...

DML #2 is AWESOME!!!

Edward said...

@Mox: Perhaps.

@Lisa: Don't get me started on Jacob.

17foreverlisa said...

The second one is epic!!!

mmMoxie said...

Buttcrack Santa probably had all that stuff stashed in the glove compartment of his creepy windowless van.

mmMoxie said...

including the herpes

17foreverlisa said...

Well, Mandy, what did you think of your first DML?

Mandy's Mind said...

@mrsP polariods are always fun

@sv we need a forks scavenhger hunt next trip

Dangrdafne said...

Oh My god Mox - A van parked next to me today and all the windows were tainted - I mean tinted - so you couldn't see into it. It was terrifying!! And the guy was CREEEEEPY that got into it.

17foreverlisa said...

Mrs. P - You gonna shake it like a Polaroid picture?

Jaymes805 said...

My computer hates me again. I wish santa would bring me a new one. Scratch that. I wish Edward would bring me a new one. rich bastard.

17foreverlisa said...

Sorry, Edward. I don't even like to say his name, so I understand.

Mandy's Mind said...

@mmmmoxie haha creepy van yes he prolly had all that and more ick

@17 entertainging indeed next time i will start my cocktails earlier ;) ha ha

mmMoxie said...

@DD - did he offer you any little bottles?

Jaymes805 said...

@sv didn't you have a twilight scavenger hunt goin on the other night? What was that? I WANNA PLAY!

Dangrdafne said...

Demanda would like me to remind you all that Mike Newton is NOT a vampire.

Jaymes805 said...

SV- DO you think your grandparents would drive me to In N Out? I'm starving.

Mandy's Mind said...

@dang omg i was at the beach once and one of those vans came up and the dood was... er... well he was alone and the van was rocking EW!!!!!! i called police

Mandy's Mind said...

TRUE STORY

Jaymes805 said...

Tell Demanda we had a date at In N Out tonight and I got stood up.

Black Box said...

@DD: LOL No he is not. Perhaps in some FFs.

17foreverlisa said...

Thanks for hosting, Mox, and thanks everyone for playing. Happy Thanksgiving early to those who celebrate next week!

Mandy's Mind said...

so every friday 2 dml but not next friday bc of usa thanksgiving?

i shall return again - twas fun

Dangrdafne said...

Mox - Edward is good to me - he doesn't offer me things like that :) He knows I'm a prude LOL!!!

mmMoxie said...

no no. THANK YOU guys.

I'll be at Twitter..

Peace

Mandy's Mind said...

Peace Out Homies

I too will be on twitter @mandysmind

nice to meet chyall

17foreverlisa said...

That's correct, Mandy.

DD, Mox, SV, and LwE: What did we ever decide about the following Friday, December 3rd, with so many being gone for the Eclipse DVD release?

Black Box said...

I don't think we ever came to a conclusion on that.

Dangrdafne said...

I thought SV said she would run something for those that will be around. That is fine with me.

17foreverlisa said...

Ok. I'll email her to make sure. Thanks!

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