Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, November 19, 2010

Jive Turkeys

Since there is no DML next week because we'll still be hungover from the tryptophan and massive amounts of alcohol we ingest to numb the pain of excessive extended family interaction, consider this the Thanksgiving edition.

Let us bow our heads and give thanks...

I'm thankful for all of YOU.  If not for you guys, especially Lisa, I would have shelved this ridiculous ass game ages ago.

Cheers!

Gobble Gobble

Mad Lib #1

  1. noun
  2. adjective
  3. noun
  4. noun
  5. noun
  6. noun
  7. plural noun
  8. number
  9. adjective
  10. noun
  11. noun
  12. number
  13. plural noun
  14. adjective
Thanksgiving Day Survival

Thanksgiving with your Rob's butt crack can be a lubricated experience, but you've got to come prepared.  Don't just show up at your parents' baster expecting everything to be peaches 'n' horn of plenty.  Make a plan.  To participate, first go to the kitchen and help your mother cook the gigantic magic wand she bought.  Then greet each individual shoe buckle at the door, take their vibrators, and seat them at least 69 feet away from each other.  Start the conversation by asking Dad about his hard old days as the taint of his high-school fifty team.  (Anything to make him forget that you still owe 3 dollars for your tuition.)  It will also keep your grandparents from talking, thus sparing you the lecture on the "outrageous price of dead mothufucken hookers these days."  Finally - and please don't overlook this very dingle berryish step - bring proof that you looked for a job in the past week!

Mad Lib #2
  1. adjective
  2. noun
  3. plural noun
  4. number
  5. plural noun
  6. person in room
  7. noun
  8. occupation
  9. noun
  10. article of clothing
  11. adjective
  12. noun
  13. animal
  14. small city
  15. noun
  16. vehicle
  17. plural noun
The Scavenger Hunt

Your friends are fucking hilarious, so you've decided to have a scavenger hunt rather than go to the usual nut sack for Friday-night broken condoms.  You've drawn up a list of things to gather and plan on giving 117 herpes outbreaks to the victor.  Buttcrack Santa is the first to return and he has found everything, including:
  • A digital photo of a butt plug
  • A business card from Kellan's fluffer
  • A phone number written on a sperm
  • A diaper from some fucked up restaurant
  • A not quite empty sperm donor cup from a strip club
  • A gerbil from Forks
  • A ticket stub from a Your Mom concert
  • A toy bicycle built for two
  • A box of used cum covered nunchucks

271 comments:

1 – 200 of 271   Newer›   Newest»
Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

1) Rob's but crack

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Twired Jen wanted that in bc she is going to be MIA tonight....lol!

Dangrdafne said...

I give thanks for you Mox for sticking with us. And I give thanks for your puppy doing better :)

StarlitViolets said...

2. lubricated

Dangrdafne said...

3. baster

mmMoxie said...

Damn that Jen!

Thanks DD :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

4) horn of plenty

mmMoxie said...

LMAO @ horn of plenty!

StarlitViolets said...

Great pic, Mox!!! Good to have you back hosting again. :)

inotu said...

5 magic wands

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

lolol! It's the thanksgiving edition, so I felt it was fitting.

mmMoxie said...

THanks SV. good to be back.

inotu said...

make that one wand, it's been a long week.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

6) shoe buckle

mmMoxie said...

inotu - maybe you've had too much Harry Potter exposure.

Mandy's Mind said...

7 - vibrators

mmMoxie said...

Sheesh. This is a pretty G rated DML.

mmMoxie said...

ummmm I take that back. LMAO Mandy

Living with Edward said...

8. 69

Mandy's Mind said...

I am new to this - ha ha

I give thanks to StarlitViolets for keeping me from dying in Forks and introducing me to this DML - - - first timer but excited to give it a go

Dangrdafne said...

8. 69

Dangrdafne said...

8. 69

Living with Edward said...

Is that better Mox?

mmMoxie said...

LOL Yes LwE. I think everyone has 69 on the brain.

Living with Edward said...

@DD LOLOLOLOL Great minds!

Dangrdafne said...

@ LwE get outta my head - double time apparently LOL!!

mmMoxie said...

Welcome Mandy. You picked a good night to start. It's pretty slow tonight.

Dangrdafne said...

I only said it because Mox was worried about being tame :)

Living with Edward said...

@DD: I'm not in your head. Edward is. He is in your house somewhere texting me your thoughts.

mmMoxie said...

You know I like it dirty DD :P

Mandy's Mind said...

9 - HARD

StarlitViolets said...

HI MANDY!!!! Everybody make Mandy feel welcome - we've shared something... special. LMAO!!! More on that later!

Hint for any newbs: press F5 in the comment box for speedier updates.

Dangrdafne said...

Cool *waves to room hoping Edward will see*

Dangrdafne said...

10. TAINT

Living with Edward said...

@DD: that's the same reason I said it. And I figured if you were going to say that, that would be the ONLY reason.

Mandy's Mind said...

So if more than one person does the same # you just sort of plug one in when you print it all together??

StarlitViolets said...

10. Dead hooker

Dangrdafne said...

@ mox - it IS the only way to be

17foreverlisa said...

I'm late, but I'm here!!! I'm thankful for you, Mox, and this ridiculous game that keeps us together on Friday nights. XO

Mandy, welcome. This is awesome.

Margaret, thanks for getting that in for Jen. I told her I'd probably forget. LOL!

inotu said...

hi mandy.

17foreverlisa said...

#11 Fifty

mmMoxie said...

Thanks for the taint.

We're on #11

StarlitViolets said...

11. Dead Hooker

mmMoxie said...

YAY. Glad you haven't passed out yet Lisa.

StarlitViolets said...

13. Dead mothufuckin hookers!!!

Mandy's Mind said...

Hi All thanks for the welcome :)

Yes we did share something special StarlitViolets ha ah onenightforks... lmao

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

14) dingle berries

mmMoxie said...

Ok. SV I got your Dead mothufuckin hookers but we also need #2

inotu said...

@Sv Did you want to include a dead hooker or something? lol

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

OOPS! LMAO!!!!!!!!!! Ignore my 14

mmMoxie said...

i mean #12

17foreverlisa said...

Almost, but from sleep deprivation. I've gotten about five hours in the last three days.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

StarlitViolets said...

Mandy - Whoever gets it first is the one that ends up in the resulting lib. BUT - we also try to go in order and not skip ahead. Not that that always works, but we try. ;)

Living with Edward said...

Are we all doing the same mad lib?

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I hate it when my dingle berries slip out like that

mmMoxie said...

#12? anyone? number 69?

Mandy's Mind said...

I think #12 should be 3 since 69 is done and the next best # i 3some i mean 3

StarlitViolets said...

LMAO!!! Apparently we all decided to put the D back in DML tonight!!! ROTFLMFAO!!!!!!

Dangrdafne said...

And sometimes there is a hostess choice if there are too many answers for a number ;)

17foreverlisa said...

Mox, you can use my Fifty for #12 and the other #11 for #11. Confusing? LOL! Want me to leave? Don't answer that.

Living with Edward said...

I think you may have all decided to put the WTF in DML.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I am peeing here....LMAO

Living with Edward said...

That could be a new game. WTFDML.

Dangrdafne said...

@ LwE - DEFINITELY!!! LMAO!!!

mmMoxie said...

I already got dead hookers for #13 so I'll use 3 for #12

BRB

Mandy's Mind said...

i think i am T not D (as in tipsy) eggnog and rum - - - slower results tee hee

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

ROFLRPO@WTFDML

17foreverlisa said...

What a clusterfuck. PMSL!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

we don't have a 14!!!

Living with Edward said...

But now we have to decide is it:

WTFDML. or

WTFDML?

Dangrdafne said...

13. butt plugs - plural noun from Jaymes805 whose computer is broken

Mandy's Mind said...

so this is not the normal dml? lmao

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

DIngle berries is a noun....PMSL!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

17foreverlisa said...

Eggnog and rum? Do you have Christmas music playing too, Mandy?

StarlitViolets said...

You did great on the first one, Mandy! We usually do a second list. Mox went to post our answers, so when she's done we'll refresh the blog page and the second one will be up. :)

Dangrdafne said...

Ooops so #13 is done and there is no #14 and I need to go #1 but not #2, who's on 1st???

Mandy's Mind said...

@dangrdafne if that doesn't get included it should be next plural noun 4sure ha ha

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Mandy is sitting by the fire watching It's A Wonderful Life

StarlitViolets said...

LISA!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Living with Edward said...

14. Crazy ass insane

17foreverlisa said...

DD - Mother fucking ka-ching!

Mandy's Mind said...

@17 yes don't judge I am Canadian

@sv cool fun!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Best laugh of the day.......LOL

17foreverlisa said...

LwE - There's no need for name calling ;)

How you holding up, Mox?

Dangrdafne said...

from squished books to WTFDML!! Welcome to my Friday

17foreverlisa said...

AMY!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Mandy's Mind said...

@MrsP no White Christmas, Big Crosby is the shit if you dig old guys ha

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Of coursek, Sharon.

Living with Edward said...

@Lisa: Your mom is name calling.

17foreverlisa said...

DD - squished books...ROFLMFAO!!! You Lisa'd, as did Margaret with #1. Rob's butt lost a t, poor baby.

Mandy's Mind said...

i feel like @sv has brought me into some kinda cult

Living with Edward said...

@Mandy: Would you like some Kool-aid??

17foreverlisa said...

Mandy - Big Crosby. I'm going to pee my pants. We have so many typos tonight. Thank God it's not just me for once. LOLOLOL!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

No...Jen did it. ;-)

Mandy's Mind said...

Kool Aid.... with vodka?

mmMoxie said...

Ok> Ready for #2????

Dangrdafne said...

Mrs. P - that darn K getting out of line

I can't stop laughing!! I love it!

17foreverlisa said...

LwE - I put her on hold ;)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

LOLOL! She through an -ish on the dingle berries...LMAO!!!!

Living with Edward said...

@Lisa: TT requested me to make a specific Jumping Rob photo for you. She told me we had your blessing, but I want to check to be sure. I don't want to frighten you.

Mandy's Mind said...

@17 omg im crying i didnt even realize i put BIG crosb ha ha um er BING (who is BIG apparently also rawr) ha

17foreverlisa said...

That was fast, Mox! You still rock at hosting this game.

Jaymes805 said...

I'M HERE!!!!! IT'S A THANKSGIVING MIRACLE!

Jaymes805 said...
This comment has been removed by the author.
Mandy's Mind said...

#2 as in another ML wooot woot radalicious

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

"outrageous price of dead mothufucken hookers these days."

LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!

Dangrdafne said...

LMAO!!! It was worth it SV!! "outrageous price of dead mothufucken hookers these days."

mmMoxie said...

@Mrs P - I didn't notice it wasn't an adjective until I was at the end, so I MADE it an adjective LOL

Living with Edward said...

Holy hell!! So funny!

mmMoxie said...

Hi Jaymes!

Dangrdafne said...

JAYMES!!!!! I tried your word in the first one and missed it. It's all yours for this one.

StarlitViolets said...

1. fucking hilarious

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

good work mox...good work.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

are we still in a Thanksgiving theme for this one?

Jaymes805 said...

Hellooo! My computer is such a bitch. Made me miss game #1 :(

StarlitViolets said...

Okay - so the hooker thing was beauriful!!!!!!

mmMoxie said...

Nice start SV!

We're on #2 of ML#2

StarlitViolets said...

Jamie!!! You made it!

mmMoxie said...

@Mrs. P - no....not a Thanksgiving theme for this one

Mandy's Mind said...

dead hooker = win

mmMoxie said...

A dirty hooker theme perhaps

Jaymes805 said...

2. nutsack

17foreverlisa said...

Hey Jaymes! Welcome.

That makes me think of the James/Cam Gigandet. I was watching Ellen and Christina Aguilera was on talking about her new movie Burlesque. She said her co-star and love interest in the movie (Cam) strips down to a cookie box. Is that code for something or will it be an actual cookie box? She said we ladies were going to love the full view of his beautiful backside. I think she may be right ;)

Mandy's Mind said...

#3 broken condoms

Dangrdafne said...

2. Pimp - noun

mmMoxie said...

I got 'ding dong ditched' as I was typing up ML#1. Little bastard neighborhood kids. They better not be on my lawn!

Jaymes805 said...

SV-Haha hell yes I made it. I was freaking out for a minute...or 30. :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

4) 117

17foreverlisa said...

#3 Harry

Dangrdafne said...

You can use my #2 for #6 ;)

StarlitViolets said...

Oooo! Mandy's mind is naughty!!! EXCELLENT!!!

Jaymes805 said...

mox- at least you didn't get "ding dong 'sploded", am I right Mrs. P??? :)

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Lisa????? LMAO!!!!!!!

17foreverlisa said...

I spy 17 :)

Dangrdafne said...

Lisa - what DML are you on? Harry for a plural noun???

StarlitViolets said...

5. herpes outbreaks

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

That's right Jaymes. I hear it's very messy. LOL!!!

17foreverlisa said...

WTF? #3 said a "Person" in Twilight Saga Wolf Pack. So I went with Harry (Clearwater). Who the hell is broken condoms? PMSL!

mmMoxie said...

True dat Jaymes!

@DD...I need an actual person for #6

Mandy's Mind said...

@sv i try

Jaymes805 said...

Lisa's DML game is emphasized by the D.

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Lisa is on the wrong DML......

Dangrdafne said...

Lisa you are reading last week's DML!! ROFLMAO!!

mmMoxie said...

@lisa #3 is "plural noun" #6 is "person in room"

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

Now I have peed my pants. For real.

17foreverlisa said...

Yep. Just peed my pants. I was scrolled down to far and was on last week's. I'm going to pass out.

Living with Edward said...

Here we go with the WTFDML again.

StarlitViolets said...

Wrong list Lisa!

mmMoxie said...

LFMAO this one is gonna be hilarious!

Mandy's Mind said...

lmao so typos=drunk, last weeks DML=highly intoxicated and/or high?

mmMoxie said...

we're on #6 now. person in room

TheRugbymom said...

6 Buttcrack Santa

Jaymes805 said...

One of my cats just took a massive crap. I'm hoping I can hold my breath throughout this entire game because I don't wanna miss anything.

Dangrdafne said...

Laughing so hard I just snorted. You guys are killing me

mmMoxie said...

Thanks Rugbymom :)

need #7 now

StarlitViolets said...

LMFAO!!! Always a game AND a show here at DML! I so love you Lisa!

Dangrdafne said...

7. noun - butt plug because Jaymes didn't use it yet.

Mandy's Mind said...

#7 - erection

StarlitViolets said...

8. Kellan's Fluffer

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

DD------ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

mmMoxie said...

LMAO. this is so funny. Think of the grosses dirtiest things you can. and I know you can.

Mandy's Mind said...

ooh # 8 - dead hooker - - oh wait, it was taken ;) ha ha ha hmm... occupation???

17foreverlisa said...

Oh my God! And we have cat poop going on, too. Wow. I'm gagging over here at the thought of that.

Mandy's Mind said...

#9 - noun - sperm

Living with Edward said...

9. Jumping Rob

17foreverlisa said...

#9 word

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

10) diaper

Jaymes805 said...

10. half eaten edible panties

Living with Edward said...

10 Edible panties

Anonymous said...

17. Carlisle's pants

StarlitViolets said...

10. tainted butt floss

Jaymes805 said...

lol LWE we have the same mind!

Mandy's Mind said...

10 - Red Bellas rob panties ha ha

17foreverlisa said...

Anonymous is cheating!!!

mmMoxie said...

Anonymous....we're on #11. Skipping ahead will result in a vicious 'spoding.

Edward said...

WTF is going on in here? My human is going nuts!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

anonymous jumped the line!!! ROFLMAO!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
I'm done...I can't concentrate anymore.............LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!

Jaymes805 said...

I already know what #14 is going to be... haha it doesn't even need to be said

17foreverlisa said...

#11 fucked up

Mandy's Mind said...

11 - - crusty

Dangrdafne said...

no freaking way did Jaymes and LwE have the same/almost same answer!! Holy crap this night is outta control. No doubt a full moon this weekend!!

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

anonymous will be called "k"

Jaymes805 said...

hahaha "carlisle's pants" is awesome.

17foreverlisa said...

Oh hai Edward!! XO

StarlitViolets said...

12. not quite empty sperm donor cup

mmMoxie said...

Don't leave Mrs. P. This is gonna be a good one!

ViaMarie said...

9. Jizz drain

Mrs. P @ TwiBite said...

I'm not leaving...just kidding. OMG, so funny

17foreverlisa said...

#13 gerbil

Dangrdafne said...

vicious 'spoding??

StarlitViolets said...

13. anal dwelling butt monkey

TheRugbymom said...

I can't keep up. TheRugbyboy is watching some stupid movie on TV and it's distracting me. The cussing and dirty talk on the movie is competing with the . . . oh screw it!

Mandy's Mind said...

@Jaymes small city, must be Kitimat right? I don't know ANY other small cities ;) ha ha

tho i think many of us were there when we broke forks

Jaymes805 said...

13. beaver

Mandy's Mind said...

FORKSSSSSSSSSS $14

mmMoxie said...

did I say spode? I mean splode

Living with Edward said...

15. your mom

Jaymes805 said...

lol yeah I don't know of any other cities small cities at all. Certainly none that have one stop light

Mandy's Mind said...

er #14 - - ha ha tho $14 could be an accurate cost to get shittered in forks, yup i know for a fact

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