Directions

*Pour yourself a glass or four.

*Type ONE ANSWER per comment.

*Write the number, type of word, and your word (i.e. #1 Noun: labia).

*Make it DIRTY.

*Make it CRUDE.

*Make it Twilight-related. (semi-optional)

*Make one of the words “taint." It's a must. The word "taint" is funny ALL THE TIME.

*Oh yeah, I know we'll be a tad bit tipsy, but try to read the other comments,
so we know what number we're on and don't have any repeats.

-Mox

Friday, April 1, 2011

Who? Me?

Sorry


Um.....so like I forgot tonight was my turn to host DML.  Good thing I already started drinking.  Thanks for waiting!  Lets play..........

Mad Lib #1

  1. Part of the body (plural)
  2. Verb
  3. Adjective
  4. Noun
  5. Plural noun
  6. Type of building
  7. Noun
  8. Verb ending in "ing"
  9. Plural noun
  10. Part of the body
  11. Type of liquid
  12. Adjective
  13. Type of building
  14. Adjective
Handbag Confidential

They say that the taints are the window to the soul.  That may be true, but you can definitely tell more about a woman by what she likes to thrust in her handbag.  Some women like bags that are very fuzzy, while others like a bag that's as small as a headboard.  There are some common things to every bag, such as a wallet to hold their pubes and their cathedral keys.  Sometimes, they carry a blindfold, or maybe a pair of glasses for canoodling.  They might also carry handcuffs to color their wenis.  Some women can carry Band-Aids and tequila, in case of a bulging emergency.  One thing you can definitely say, no matter who she is, most women aren't going to leave their outhouse without their fucked up bag!

Mad Lib #2

  1. Occupation
  2. Adjective
  3. Number
  4. Silly word
  5. Same occupation
  6. Number
  7. A place
  8. A place
  9. Verb (past tense)
  10. Adjective
  11. Same occupation
  12. Adverb
  13. Adjective
  14. Article of clothing
  15. Adjective
  16. Adjective
  17. Verb ending in "ing"
  18. Adjective
  19. Adjective
  20. Type of building
  21. Verb (past tense)
Just Like Mom

When I grow up, I want to be a fluffer just like my mom.  She's worked really hard to get there, and Mom said that it's worth every vomit scented minute.  It all started when she was 50 years old.  She went to see the movie Gaberluzie, and that was enough.  All Mom could think about was being a fluffer.  Mom went to school for 13 years in The Red Room of Pain to make sure she had all the right training.  Then, she decided to move to my bathroom where she could open her business.  And, during all of this, she met and jerked my dad, and started a family.  I know that it's going to be drunk as fuck, but just think how proud she's going to be when I tell her that I want to be a fluffer, all because of her!


APRIL FOOLS DAY!  IT WASN'T ONE LONG ONE, IT WAS TWO!

First Date Aid

Here are some easy tips on making your first date go cunningly
  • Make sure that you wear something sore.  You don't want to have to worry about your nipple clamps all night.  And it may sound slutty, but wear dangerous shoes, too.  You might be walking around a lot.
  • Try to plan something that you both like to do, like thrusting.  It doesn't have to be expensive or yearning, and it can still be fun!
  • If you're nervous, make it a group outing.  Get all your lickable friends together and take a trip to the local hospital.  You'll feel much more comfortable.
  • Find out what time your mom and dad expect you to be home.  You don't want to be spent because you missed your curfew!

168 comments:

Dangrdafne said...

1. Taints

:)

StarlitViolets said...

1. Taint!

StarlitViolets said...

LOL! Jinx DD!

StarlitViolets said...

2. thrust

mmMoxie said...

Hi girls! I'm glad I popped on tonight or you'd all be thinking "WTF"

Dangrdafne said...

We think that all the time, don't we??

LMAO!!


One of us would have come up with something.

StarlitViolets said...

I think it's awesome that you turned it around so quickly. I'm in awe of your DML expertise. ;)

mmMoxie said...

Not that I don't love the two of you, but I home more folks show up.

mmMoxie said...

home - hope

LCM174EV said...

3. Fuzzy

LCM174EV said...

HI all!

Dangrdafne said...

I know Lisa is out and TwiKiwi is also busy. I saw a few others asking about it but not sure where they are now.

Smitten said...

#4 headboard

mmMoxie said...

Hi LCM174EV

mmMoxie said...

Hi Smitten

Maybe tonight will be slow and easy on me.

LCM174EV said...

5. pubes

mmMoxie said...

I see some people have those delicious BD pics on their minds. Dayum they were HOT!

StarlitViolets said...

TLR is playing via text from the movie she's seeing - Red Riding Hood.

She wants:

6. Building - Cathedral

Smitten said...

*waves* you gave me a good giggle when I saw that you forgot it was your turn. could also be the wine though :)

Smitten said...

Yes, yes I do!!!!

mmMoxie said...

I totally did. I think Lisa is gonna kick me out of the DML club.

mmMoxie said...

SLV - say hello to TLR and tell her I'm thoroughly enjoying my new BDB. (she knows what I mean)

Dangrdafne said...

Mox that will never happen... unless of course that is what you were trying for!

I hope not :(

LCM174EV said...

7. blindfold

StarlitViolets said...

8. canoodling

Smitten said...

#8 sucking

mmMoxie said...

@DD - not at all. I just spaced out and didn't check the schedule.

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - I told her. ;) And I knew what you meant too. Hee hee...

mmMoxie said...

we're on #9 Plural noun

mmMoxie said...

Thanks SLV.....I wish they'd make those books into movies. HELLO PORN

Smitten said...

Dammit, I went to hit refresh and accidently hit the link to Dora the Explorer, LOL.

Dangrdafne said...

I think it was a perfect thing to happen on April Fools Mox :)

StarlitViolets said...

But of course. I haven't read them yet. But TLR is in LOVE with them. ;)

Smitten said...

I used up my nouns. All I can think is headboard headboard headboard.....

mmMoxie said...

Not shit right DD? Only me.

LCM174EV said...

Oh Smitten that is TERRIBLE!

mmMoxie said...

LOL Smitten

mmMoxie said...

I'm renaming Smitten to Smutten

StarlitViolets said...

Smitten - Dora?! I'm so sorry. LOL!

LCM174EV said...

9. handcuffs

Dangrdafne said...

LOL Smutten

mmMoxie said...

Ok...you should all be able to name a body part

StarlitViolets said...

10. wenis

Smitten said...

Well the link isn't for ME! Actually I can probably delete that, she's not into dora anymore, she's all about PBS Kids.

mmMoxie said...

WTF is a wenis?

LCM174EV said...

11. Tequila

Smitten said...

wenis. bahahahaha

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - TLR says hi and she misses you! Her signed copy is waiting to be picked up and she's positively bursting about it. LOL! ;)

StarlitViolets said...

A WENIS is the skin at the end of your elbow. LMAO!!!

mmMoxie said...

Thanks SLV

StarlitViolets said...

LCM - Bwah ah ah! One of my favorite liquids.

mmMoxie said...

wenis's are gross

LCM174EV said...

I want to go somewhere HOT and drink a GIANT margarita. NOW!

mmMoxie said...

LCM - it was 100 degrees in Phoenix today

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - Yes. Yes they are. ;)

Dangrdafne said...

It snowed here in PA!

Smitten said...

12 bulging

mmMoxie said...

SLV, I thought you were coming to Phoenix last month?

Dangrdafne said...

13. outhouse

mmMoxie said...

sweet. One more...#14 Adjective

StarlitViolets said...

14. fucked up

LCM174EV said...

StarlitViolets: AMEN! I wish hubs could pick me up a margarita on his way home. I would just get in the hot tub and pretend I was somewhere else!

mmMoxie said...

Ok. I'll post #1. Do you all want to do a second Mad Lib?

LCM174EV said...

Moxie, not sure I want it that hot, the humidity would be a total nightmare here, but I would settle for 90 with a slight breeze, thats not too picky right?

StarlitViolets said...

YES!!! More please!

mmMoxie said...

I agree LCM. it's too fucking hot. I hate the heat....and that is why I chose to live in Phoenix. Iz dumb

mmMoxie said...

Ok. brb. I"ll be a posting, a refilling and a smoking

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - It was to move a friend and she had a death in the family and it changed all her plans. She's in LA now. So no Phoenix for me. :( But I'll still see you in July! :)

mmMoxie said...

Ok...#1 is done....start #2....talk amongst yourselves. I"ll be smoking.

I can't wait to meet you in July SLV!

Dangrdafne said...

I love the first one. That is hilarious.

Dangrdafne said...

1. Fluffer

Dangrdafne said...

I just said "Oooo she chose a long one." LOL!!!!

Smitten said...

Thank you DD, that is just what I wanted to write for #1!!!!!!

LCM174EV said...

HAHAHA FLUFFER!

LCM174EV said...

you took it right out of my mouth DD

StarlitViolets said...

LMFAO!!! LOVE the first one!

2. vomit-scented

StarlitViolets said...

DD!!! FLUFFER!!! Bwahahahahahaaaa!

LCM174EV said...

3. 50

Smitten said...

4 gaberlunzie

StarlitViolets said...

Smitten? Translation? LOL!

StarlitViolets said...

6. 13

mmMoxie said...

LOL I LOVE um long

LCM174EV said...

6. 17

LCM174EV said...

7. Red Room of Pain

Dangrdafne said...

7. Hawaii

StarlitViolets said...

LCM!!! Good one!

8. my bathroom

mmMoxie said...

OMG> this one is gonna be HILARIOUS! Or maybe that's just the wine talking.

Smitten said...

It's scottish, a begging licence (18th century) I believe.
(Re-reading the Outlander series)

I went for silly sounding, did you mean silly meaning?

LCM174EV said...

Thanks!

9. jerked

StarlitViolets said...

LMAO!!! I love it! ;)

StarlitViolets said...

10. drunk as fuck

LCM174EV said...

11. FLUFFER, just for good measure

mmMoxie said...

LOL. thanks LCM

StarlitViolets said...

Come on DD, I know you have an adverb for us! ;)

Dangrdafne said...

:P @SLV

mmMoxie said...

LMAO SLV......I was thinking the same thing.

LCM174EV said...

No prob!

StarlitViolets said...

DD - MWAH!!!

mmMoxie said...

adverb (ends in ly)

StarlitViolets said...

Mox - LOL! She's the QUEEN of rescuing us from our adverbless imaginations. ;)

Dangrdafne said...

cunningly

Smitten said...

forcefully

mmMoxie said...

nice

LCM174EV said...

hastily

StarlitViolets said...

12. eerily

StarlitViolets said...

DD - Ooo - Cunningly is EXCELLENT!

StarlitViolets said...

13. sore

Smitten said...

#13 hospital

LCM174EV said...

So would you classify Nipple clamps as "Article of clothing" or more of an accessory?

Smitten said...

oops, looking at #1.

Dangrdafne said...

Smitten I think you are reading the words for #1 - we are on #2 LOL!!

Smitten said...

#14 long khaki skirt

mmMoxie said...

I'll take it LCM

Smitten said...

@LCM - LOL!!!

mmMoxie said...

we're on #15 of Mad Lib #2

LCM174EV said...

thanks for indulging me Moxie!

Dangrdafne said...

Apparently the iCarly that is on right now on Nick2 will make fun of Twilight!!!

mmMoxie said...

iCarly makes me want to gouge my eyes out.

StarlitViolets said...

I'm with you, Mox. Blech.

Dangrdafne said...

Then don't watch it Mox LMAO!!! I don't want you to hurt yourself.

mmMoxie said...

@DD - I have a 10 year old. Sometimes I don't have a choice.

17foreverlisa said...

#17 thrusting (in honor of Thrustward)

What up peeps?

StarlitViolets said...

15. slutty

mmMoxie said...

are ya'll pooping out on me? #15 please

mmMoxie said...

Thanks SLV

Smitten said...

#15 dangerous

Dangrdafne said...

OH MY GOD IT IS HILARIOUS!!!

StarlitViolets said...

LISA!!! (((BIG HUGS)))

Dangrdafne said...

Freddie is Edward and he just did the cafeteria walk.

StarlitViolets said...

We need a #16, then #18.

mmMoxie said...

Howdy Lisa.....glad you could tear yourself from Twilight to play with us :P

Smitten said...

Thank you Lisa! I came tonite with headboard and thrusting. Y'all are lucky if I managed to contribute anything else! ;)

mmMoxie said...

Thanks again SLV.....I need some more wine so I can be a shittier host tonight...DAYUM I suck.

17foreverlisa said...

Two #15s, Mox. Take SV's slutty for #16. I'm not giving up my #17 ;)

So you forgot it was your turn for DML tonight, huh? LOL! Nice recovery. Good thing you're a pro at it. Awesome picture for the post btw. That one NEVER gets old.

LCM174EV said...

16. moist in honor of Thrustward as well!

Smitten said...

#17 yearning

StarlitViolets said...

18. lickable

mmMoxie said...

@Lisa - I love his boo boo face don't you?

mmMoxie said...

Ok....#18 Adjective tplease

Dangrdafne said...

this is my favorite April Fools today - next to Mox's DML almost miss tonite ;)

http://brainwise.tumblr.com/post/4265081099/plaidleaf-bbc-wins-on-april-fools-day-i

Smitten said...

oh shit, we've got 17 already, don't we. this is confuzzing to a drunk girl!

mmMoxie said...

ok #20

Smitten said...

20 hospital

mmMoxie said...

LMAO Smitten

LCM174EV said...

21: Spent

StarlitViolets said...

Smitten!!! LMFAO!!!

StarlitViolets said...

LCM! That is fucking hilarious!

mmMoxie said...

Ok. brb

17foreverlisa said...

Sorry Mox. I had a 70th birthday party/dinner to go to after work withfamily and friends. I got home, threw on my pjs, grabbed my netbook, climbed in bed, turned on the TV and found Twilight. It just never gets old.

*waves at SV*

Sensory overload right, Smitten?

Gah! Time for Rob to sing "Let Me Sign"

LCM174EV said...

That was great as always ladies!

Smitten said...

Exactly Lisa!

See, you people get me! xo

17foreverlisa said...

Mox: ...his boo boo face. LOL! Never thought of it that way, but YES!!!

Sorry for the confusion. Mox's house rule is "taint" must be used. I'm kind of partial to the number 17 ;)

So did I miss anything? Haven't read through all the comments from tonight.

StarlitViolets said...

Did you read the first one, Lis?

LCM174EV said...

see you girls on Twitter in a few gotta go attend the the 3yroldclone for a few minutes

mmMoxie said...

I THINK "JUST LIKE MOM" is a new classic

17foreverlisa said...

Yes I did, SV. Who came up with outhouse? LOL!

Prom scene dance *le sigh*

StarlitViolets said...

ROTFLMFAO!!! The MOM one is FUCKING hilarious!

mmMoxie said...

FYI, while I was posting this, my Mom called. True fact.

Dangrdafne said...

*blushes* me

Dangrdafne said...

Of all night for Living with Edward to not be here... a Your Mom DML!!!

mmMoxie said...

Thanks for playing and putting up with my forgetfulness!

see you all on Twitter.

Smitten said...

thanks for the fun!!!

StarlitViolets said...

Great job, Mox!

Dangrdafne said...

That was tons of fun Mox - thanks

mmMoxie said...

@DD - are you calling me fat?

Dangrdafne said...

Why...yes, yes I am!!!

and that would be my horribly played April Fools!!

mmMoxie said...

you are such a taint

Dangrdafne said...

LMAO!!!!