Lettin' It ALL Hang Out!

Welcome, Ladies, to a night of unabashed love for all things DIRTY!!! I even have a little treat for you. It's music to play by! As a warning, the video does contain a few political views that I don't give a FUCK about. I am politically indifferent. I'm Switzerland!

But first, I need to scar you for life by showing you what I think of when I hear "Lettin' It All Hang Out!"  At least this way, you'll think of it too.  I won't be alone in my need for hot boiling acid directly on my retinas.  How is this POSSIBLE???

Her belly button must be so pissed.

I dare you NOT to think of this picture the next time someone says the phrase, "Lettin' It All Hang Out."

Now that I've successfully grossed you out, let's move onto the FUN!  Here it is.  It's an oldy, but goody to some of us h00rish types, but to others it may be brand new. To the n00bs and h00rs, alike, I am honored to present...

Tenacious D!!!

Mad Lib #1
SV's Hint: Eating Out

1. Adjective
2. Adjective
3. Celebrity
4. Adjective
5. Noun
6. Adjective
7. Adjective
8. Noun
9. Noun
10. Type of Food
11. Plural Noun
12. Noun
13. Plural Noun
14. Adjective

Chinese Dinner

I recently had dinner at a new Chinese restaurant.  The cooking was hot pink and the service was fan-friggin-tastic.  The owner of the restaurant, Peter Facinelli, suggested that for my first course I have sweet and flacid spare ribs, which is a specialty of the gut.  They were comatose.  For the next course, I was served a craptastic tennis shoes that convert into fly fishing waders  soup.  The main course consisted of Egg Foo Labia Lip, lobster in bratwurst sauce, and pressed twatwaffles.  For dessert, I ordered those famous Chinese sillystring cookies with sliced cock rockets.  But whenever I eat Chinese food, an hour later I feel putrid again.

Mad Lib #2

SV's Hint:  Speakeasy

1. Adjective
2. Occupation
3. Plural Noun
4. Noun
5. (skip)
6. Adjective
7. Noun
8. Adjective
9. Adjective
10. Adjective
11. Noun
12. Adjective
13. Type of Food
14. Part of the Body
15. Noun
16. Noun
17. Adjective
18. Adjective
19. Noun
20. Noun
21. Plural Noun

Father Goose Rhymes III



Three purple mice,
See how they run!
They all ran after the farmer's sumo wiper,
Who cut off their vaginal warts with a carving french tickler.
Did you ever see such a sight in you life,
As three purple mice?

There was a crooked man, and went a swampy and burning mile.
He found an ass clown against a scabby stile.
He bought an erect cat, which caught a lengthy mouse,
And they all lived together in a little crooked Rob's beanie's asistant.

Sweaty Jack Horner sat in a corner, eating his sushi pie.
He stuck in his taint meat and pulled out a fuzzy peach,
And said, "What a good Rolodex of unimaginable horror am I!"

Old King Cole was a fishy-smelling old soul,
A crazy old soul was he,
He called for his pussy wrinkle, and he called for his seventeen,
And he called for his Twilight painted Converse Allstars three.