If you like your smut dark and urban and, well, pretty damn cheesy, you'll love these books.
YUMMERS!!!!!
Someone's interpretation of the character Rhage (yes all the character's names are stupid along with their vernacular, but they really know their cunnilingus).
Now that you hopefully have your minds firmly in the gutter.....lets play Drunk Mad Libs!
- Adjective
- Plural noun
- Plural noun
- Adjective
- Adjective
- Adjective
- Color
- Number
- Adjective
- Verb
- Plural noun
- Same plural noun (I hope this doesn't confuse you drunk bitches)
- Adjective
- Type of liquid
- Adjective
- Adjective
Do it Herself!
Part One
You might think you have to be totally smutty to make all sorts of labia for you and your friends, but it's not that difficult. You can make lots of cool breasts with only a few tools and a few things from the sexy store. Here are a couple of quick projects you can complete in tainted time:
- Chafed Headband - Take a plain, purple headband and 17 small beads in your favorite color: Using a creepy glue, buzzzzz the beads to the headband and allow to dry.
- Personal Stationary - Buy some plain sheets of batteries and some rubber stamps and inks that you like. Decorate the batteries with the stamps.
- Vibrating Vase - Carefully wash an empty spunk can and dry. Find a piece of cavernous paper, and glue it to the can. Now you have an irritable for fresh flowers.
Mad Lib #2
- adjective
- adjective
- plural noun
- noun
- liquid
- adjective
- adjective
- plural noun
- adjective
- type of food
- another type of food
- type of container
- adjective
- noun
- verb ending in "s"
Do It Herself!
Part Two
Here are some other grody projects that you can do:
- Flower Power - Take a crazy hairy container and fill it with some spunk cans. Then, plant the seeds of your favorite gash, water them with pee, and in no time you'll have a hairless garden.
- Picture That - Take a plain, musty picture frame and decorate it with lots of whips. Then, put a picture of your best buds in it and give it as a gift.
- On the Road Trail Mix - Why bother buying trail mix for those long rides in the car? It's just as easy to make your own. Take some welted cereal, and mix it with some wieners and jolly ranchers in a big spunk can. It's unruly!
- So, just remember what every Diva Pimpmobile knows, when she wants something done, she runs it herself!
170 comments:
1 - smutty!!!
What uuuuuuuuuuup?
Mox! Good for you on the smut reading. I myself am immersed in historical smut. I like the dresses...
HEHE. Nice way to start MB!
2) labia
@Mrs. P - Its a whole new world for me. I need to buy stock in Duracell.
I like all kinds and periods of smut. I am an equal opportunity smut-whore. :) Hi ladies!
3 - breasts
Really...well I think I need to start visiting this century in the smut.
@Mrs P - May I recommend the Black Dagger Brotherhood series? LOL
You should! I recommended several to Mox, although one she didn't like. I think it's because it was about a guy named Jacob, and she is just too firmly anti-Team-Jacob. ;)
Where is everyone else? Are we gonna have to knock this out by ourselves?
blogger keeps jamming me up tonight damnit
4. sexy
@MB - it wasn't the name I had an issue with, it was the atrocious writing. LOL I finished "Shadow Game". It was better, but I think I'm going to get the other JR Ward series next.
4) moisturized
Heeeelloooooo DD & FFZ!
Mox!!! Where the hell have you been?
My cell is about dead and I can't see the list from here, so I can't play. I would throw taint out there though at the first opportunity.
Have been out to eat with sister and hubs. Not home yet.
XO
#5 tainted
does that count as taint?? LOL
@Mrs. P - can I use "moisturizer" for #4.....In this case, "moisturized" would be more of a verb.
6) chafed
I got you hooked up Lisa....
@FFZ now I am singing Tainted Love
Hi Lisa! Miss you! You need to email me the dates you'll be in PHX!
Go ahead mox!
Mox - I know, LOL. The quality of the writing isn't why I read them... ;) I'm reading the Fallen Angels series by JR Ward (Crave and Covet so far) and I love them. They're alot like BDB. And you're right - BDB is the best of the serieses. ? (I know the plural is just series, but I felt it would be confusing)
#7 purple
Good evening. <--- said in the creepy Alfred Hitchcock kind of way.
@dd OMG...that is my favorite dancing song from the clubs...flashback...
@LwE - I read everything you type as though it were said in that voice. Is that wrong?
8 - 17 !!
#8 69
NM abut my ? regarding moisturized. I missed "sexy". I am going to reserve the right to change tense...etc.
@LWE you rang <~~ said in Lurch's voice
Same goes for Mrs P.
WTF??? am I the only person not reading BBD????
Hiya LWE....nice entrance MWAAAHAHAHAHAHA
Ha! I just finished reading Don't Bank Like A Douche!
yes FFZ. You are. I suggest you start right away so we can talk about it. My favorite is Rhage :) and all of the batteries are dead in my house.
9) creepy
You can use Mrs. P's word if it is funnier :)
PS Hey Mox will you be in the PHX airport Friday 5-13 between 12:45pm and 2pm or Sunday 5-22 between 7am and 9am in the US Airways terminal?? If so, we should try to meet LOL!!! I will be there and it is probably one of the few times I could get to see you this year :)
PPS FFZ I am not reading it.
@Mox - may I recommend investing in a rechargeable battery set?
LOL DD> I don't normally hang out in the airport, but I might if you're gonna be there :)
I get my batteries in bulk at BJ's!
10 buzzzzzzz
@MB: Yes that is wrong. I only use the Hitchcock voice on occasion. If you are going to put a permenant voice on anything I type you should use the scary voice in the Michael Jackson Thriller video.
@Mrs.P: Lurch is hot.
@MB - It is sad that I know this, but rechargeable batteries don't deliver the same ummmmmm strength, even at full charge.
@Mox - it's a trade-off. ;)
@ mox...you need rechargeables LOL
BTW we're on #11 (plural noun)
Of course, I talk big, but I can't even find my "friend." I think TH found it and threw it out. *hmpf*
@Mox: I did a back handspring too, but none of you could see that.
@TheRugbymom: I should totally write a book called Don't Bank Like A Douche. I wonder if it would be a top seller. The blog post seemed to do alright.
Awwww Mox thanks. I wonder what the cheapest ticket is that could get you into the US Airways terminal so we could see each other.
#10 recharge
@MB sounds like grounds for divorce LOL
#11 batteries
11. batteries
@mmMoxie - maybe you'd like to try something with a 12-volt DieHard? with a kick-starter?
FFZ we are on a roll tonite
@Mox - it could be one other place I haven't looked. That sounds like a job for tonight... (a lot of my stuff is still in boxes from the move)
I'm too confused by 11 and 12 being the same... btw.
Ha! Batteries for the win!
@ MB oh hell noes!!!! Don't you go toy shopping together???
LMAO @ DD and FFZ! Same word - too funny!
@MB - is the "other place" you speak of your cootch? LOL. sorry. I'm drunk.
So im guessing...
12) batteries...?
@ dd lol!!!
#13 vibrating
why yes, Mrs. P. #12 IS batteries!
@FFZ - no, he's a little conservative and the idea freaks him out. I think he's of the mind that what he doesn't know won't hurt him, though, and I don't actually know what he'd do if he found my little helper... probably have hurt feelings. :(
@Mox - LOL! Yes - it's THAT cavernous.
15 - cavernous :)
#14...I know you all can think of a type of liquid
14 spunk
14) battery acid
@ mb... dang it... but give it time... mr z was once that way.. you have to break them in slowly
@FFZ - I'm working on it. ;) LOL
ouch Mrs. P
@ Mrs P....OMH .. I was so thinking battery acid too LOL
I don't like to be graphic MB, but if you incorporate the "helper" into the session with the real thing, he may be more accepting of it.
#15 trembling
#16 and we're on to the next one, and you all know the second ML is always the best!
@Mox - thanks for the tip. ;) First step would still be finding it... LOL
@ MB @ mox... agreed...hence the shopping together... he just needs the control...
Mox...that's exactly how you do it.
OR...your hubs surprises you and pulls one out of nowhere...like a magician.
LMAO - I'm sure he'd love to know we're all discussing his introduction to toys on here. Or maybe that's what he thinks I'm always doing... who can tell? LOL
@Mrs. P - pull it out of where? (bad image in mind)
LADIES> we need #16. Moxie needs a refill and a smoke.
@ mrs p... OMH...I as much as I love 'shopping' w/ Mr. z...i would love it if he surprised me with a new one...
Mox...nevermind. TMI. LMAO!!!!!!!!!!!
16 - irritable
How's that, sweet Mox?
#16 smokey
@ mox...now go smoke dear...I will smoke a fake electronic cig for you diear
Oh my
LOL. Thanks MB.
I shall return in five minutes with a finished DML #1, the start of DML #2, a fresh drinkie and nicotine.
LOL! An empty spunk can :)
I don't ever want a spunk can. ew.
1, grody
Is a spunk can ass?? or have I been reading to much slash???
Ha! Ha! I just noticed that Edward is holding a pen with a naked woman on it - in the DML header! How did I miss that before?
@FFZ - LMAO!
#2 - crazy hairy
#3 spunk cans HOLLA
LOL Rugbymom - I always have a nudie pen inmy purse to offer when someone asks to borrow a pen.
Ok...pardon my absence...I have a special delivery to go make to MB on my other computer.....
Yaaaaaaaay! Everyone please excuse FFZ. It's for a very good cause, or so I hear...
@FFZ - I hope it's not a can of spunk.
I've seen some spunk cans on xtube, but they aren't empty. . . well . . . not by the end of the video they're not.
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
we're on #4 of Mad Lib #2 ladies. Lets go. I didn't have to pee during my last break.
oh my god, a spunk can is a real thing???
Mox is pushy tonight. ;)
4 - gash
only when I'm tipsy and have to pee
5. pee
That's alright - you're a stern taskmistress.
LOL MB - thats right. I'm always the DOM never the SUB
6 hairless
@ MB...go check your inbox...
SQUEEEE!!!
#7 musty
@ MB...I sent as PDF...but I also have as no mobi if you prefer..wasn't sure...
8. whips
#9 welted (that goes with whips, right DD)
8 - zombies
FFZ - mobi would be awesome, actually. I can read pdf on the comp only. Mobi I can convert. But only if it's not too much trouble - thanks for sending it to me at all!
hey you guys...MB is going to pop her The Office cherry tonight HOLLA
Whoops - ok...
10 - weiner(s)
sorry MB. we're on #10 (type of food)
shit...do you have calibre to convert?? I already shut down that computer....
@FFZ - no worries, bb. I do have calibre, but it SUCKS at converting from pdf. Tried that with EP and it failed.
#11 jolly ranchers
I started reading The Office until it got booted from that FF site. See...I can't even remember the name of the FF site. Oh well. There was some pretty good smut in The Office.
@Mox - thanks! I saw that and corrected. :)
Sorry. MB - I was a little slow with the correction. Thanks for being on your toes :)
we're on #12 (type of container). Do I even need to ask what that will be?
@ mb hmmm...you know...try it...I had one small issue converting this PDF to mobi on calibre...One of the last chapter wigs out...but it only translates to one or two sentences...give it a shot...if it is a hot mess. let me know..i will send you my mobi
12. spunk can
12. Rubbermaid
LMAO LWE. Thats what I was thinking.
@ mox.. it is worth the full read... do you want me to send to you?? if so send me your email on twitter dm
@FFZ - I will try. Otherwise, I'll just take the laptop and get comfy. :)
I was trying to do something different - but LwE beat me to it.
Speaking of LwE if you are not already following her blog she only needs 5 more to have 100!! http://livingwithedward.blogspot.com/
It was the obvious choice and I don't really feel like thinking.
uh oh...spunk can was already #3..but it is so bad arse maybe it needs two mentions???
@FFZ - I DMed you on Twitter.
I think DD is my pimp.
Yes! spunk can is worthy of double entry. HA! double entry.
dammit..I am out again to power main computer back up.....
@Dangrdafne is always so clean and wholesome!
we're on #13 (adjective)
We used it already? Shows how much thinking I really want to do.
@LwE - she does dress pretty nicely... what kind of car does she drive?
Pimps can be clean and wholesome :)
Poor Mox. We're so unruly.
Ooh!
13 - unruly
One thing I can say about DD's car is it's paid off.
{{raised eyebrow}}
LOL Thanks MB
Pimps don't have car payments
Mox - you know it, girl. I'm here to help. :)
#14 (noun)
Make it really gross/smutty or bizarre please.
14 Pimpmobile
I'd say 'Pimpmobile' falls under the "bizarre" category.
LMAO @ RugbyMom! My friend in h.s. had an old, gold Buick and that's what we called it. LOL
#15 (verb ending in "s")
Remember, I hafta pee
maybe it should even be DangrDafne's Pimpmobile!
15 - runs
as in, Mox runs to the toilet
15 urinates
sweet! Thanks ladies. Be back in a sec w/ the finished product.
LMAO!!!!
It should DEFINITELY be Dangrdafne's Pimpmobile!
Oh my
DONE! Thanks for playing guys! I'ma pee then I'll be on twitter.
"So, just remember what every Diva Pimpmobile knows, when she wants something done, she runs it herself!" Hmmmm it DOES sound like dangrdafne ;)
ewwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwwww!
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